frankies world

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going to the army and losing 2 of my brothers

Submitted: May 30, 2018

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Submitted: May 30, 2018



The story before we went into the army: Saving the World
Nicole: 18 years old, Frankie and Jordan’s sister, Frankie’s wife, Bridget’s mother
Frankie: 18 years old, Jordan’s brother, Nicole’s husband, Bridget’s father
Jordan: 18 years old, Nicole’s brother-in-law, Frankie’s brother, Bridget’s uncle.
Bridget: Nicole and Frankie’s daughter, Jordan’s niece
Derrick: Frankie’s younger brother,  Nicole and Jordan’s friend, Bridget’s uncle
Nicky: Nicole’s brother, Frankie, Jordan and Derrick’s friend, Bridget’s uncle.
 My name is Nicole, I’m 18 years old and I live in Minnesota with my family. My mom is named Samantha and my two brothers are named Frankie and Jordan. Frankie, Jordan and I graduated from high school in June of last year and finally decided what to do with our lives; we were going to join the army. That September we joined the army and our mom was so proud of us. During the months before we were shipped off to our base, we had a little party. “Nicole! We need more drinks!” Jordan yelled over the music blasting in the living room. “Jordan! You’re older than me, you have to get them!” I yelled back. “Get the keys!” Jordan yelled, as I grabbed them and met them at the door. “Mom! We’ll be back in a few minutes!” I yelled, as we headed to the store. On the ride to the store, Frankie whispered something to Jordan and Jordan nodded. “What are you guys whispering about?” I asked. “Nothing” they both said, as I stared at them curiously. “Something’s going on; I want to know what it is…now!” I said. “Okay, fine. Frankie just asked me if it was okay to propose to you.” Jordan said, as I looked at Frankie. “Is it?” Frankie asked, as I nodded. Just then, Frankie pulled out a box and it had the ring in it. “I’ll marry you when we come back from this mission.” he said, as I nodded. “I love you, Frankie.” I told him, as we held each other. “I love you, too, Nicole.” Frankie replied, as we kissed. After coming back from the store, the party was dying down and everyone was outside. “Mom!” I yelled, as she came to the door. “Frankie proposed to me!” I screamed, as she hugged me. “Everyone! I would like to make a toast! To my son and his soon to be bride! To Nicole and Frankie!” she said, as everyone toasted. After the party, everyone left and we cleaned up. That night, I slept upstairs with Frankie and we got busy.
Chapter I: Going to the Army and finding out I lost the baby
 The next morning, we had to be up at 5:30am to be at the base by 6:30am, so we got up and got ready to go to the army. Our mom was still sleeping, so we left her a note and told her we’d be safe and I’d watch out for Frankie and Jordan. On the ride, I fell asleep in Frankie’s arms. The next minute I knew, we were at the base. We had to find our bunks and report to the front lines. “Welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives. Look to your left, look to your right. Most of you may not survive the mission we have planned for you.” the commander said. After a few hours of listening to our rules, we headed to our bunks. “This is a very hard day, but I promised your mom I’d look out for you two.” I said. “Nicole, we’re older than you. We know how to take care of ourselves.” Frankie said. “I told you that I was going to out for you, Frankie.” I told him, as we kissed 
*3 months later*
 “Nicole? Are you alright?” Frankie asked when he heard me throw up in the bathroom. “No, I’m pregnant.” I replied, coming out of the bathroom. “Really?” he asked, as I nodded. “Jordan!” Frankie yelled, as Jordan came to the bathroom. “Nicole’s pregnant.” Frankie said. “I know, she told me 2 months ago.” Jordan said. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Frankie asked
“I didn’t want you to be distracted because you were at the shooting range.” I explained, as I laid down. “Are they going to discharge me?” I asked with my eyes closed. “I don’t think so, but they might.” Frankie said. “We’ve been looking forward to this since high school. They can’t discharge me just because I’m pregnant.” I explained. “I’ll ask, but they might discharge you.” Jordan said, as he went to the sergeant and asked. When he got there, “Sorry to bother you sir, but I have a question to ask you.” Jordan asked. “Yes?” the sergeant asked. “My brother’s girlfriend is pregnant and I would like to know if you are going to discharge her from the army.” Jordan asked. “How far along is she?” he asked. “3 months.” Jordan replied. “If she’s that far along, then we will have to. We can’t have a pregnant woman on the lines just in case she has a miscarriage.” he replied. “Thank you, sir.” Jordan replied, as he returned to our bunk. “The sergeant said that he would have to, they don’t want you to have a miscarriage.” Jordan explained to us. “I don’t want to be separated from my brothers.” I said. “You won’t be. You’ll be able to do everything except go overseas.” Jordan replied, as I closed my eyes. When I went to sleep, Jordan and Frankie went outside to talk. “How did this happen?” Frankie said. “I guess we got a little too carried away when we celebrated before we came into the army.” Jordan replied. “This wasn’t supposed to happen until after we got out of the army.” Frankie said. “Calm down, little brother. We’ll handle this like men. We just need to protect her at all cost. She can’t go overseas, so when we go overseas, she has to go home.” Jordan said, as Frankie nodded. “She’s not going to like that. That will stress her out even more. She’s been looking forward to this all of her life.” Frankie said. “She’s going to be a mom soon; she needs to protect herself and her child. We have to force her to go home when we leave.” Jordan said, as Frankie nodded. “We’ll talk more about this tomorrow. Right now, she needs to get some sleep and so do we.” Jordan said, as they headed to the bunk and fell asleep.
During the night, I kept getting cramps and couldn’t sleep, so I went outside and sat down. “Nicole? Are you okay?” Frankie asked, as I shook my head. “I keep getting cramps, they won’t go away.” I said, as I just fell on the ground. “JORDAN!” Frankie yelled. “Nicole! Wake up, baby!” Frankie said, as Jordan came outside half dressed. “What happened to her?” Jordan asked, trying to get me to wake up. “I don’t know. She said she was having cramps that wouldn’t go away and she just passed out.” Frankie said, as they rushed me to the emergency room. “What happened?” the nurse asked. “She was having cramps and she just passed out.” Frankie said, as they gave me to the nurse and they waited in the waiting room. After a few hours, the nurse came to get them and told them that I had a miscarriage. “Shit!” Frankie said, as he punched a hole in the wall. “Calm down, little brother. At least she’s alive.” Jordan said. “But my daughter isn’t.” Frankie said, as they headed to the room I was in. “Jordan! Frankie!” I said, as they walked into the room. “Are you okay?” Frankie asked, as I shook my head. “I lost the baby.” I replied, starting to cry. “It’s okay, baby. We’ll try again when we get out of the army.” Frankie said, as he comforted me. “Excuse me, but I looked over your medical records and it says that your uterus is incapable of having kids. I’m really sorry.” the nurse said. “Fuck!” I yelled, as I started to cry even more. “Baby, it’s okay. We’ll do what we have to do. We’ll have that family that you wanted, I promise you.” Frankie said, as he comforted me. “I don’t think you should be here, Nicole.” Jordan said, as I looked at him. “Why? Just because I lost my daughter?” I asked. “Yea, you’re depressed and that’s not going to be good holding a gun and fighting.” Jordan said. “He’s right, Nicole. You should go home.” Frankie said. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll call mom and tell her I’m coming home.” I said, as I called my mother to let her know what happened.
“Hello?” my mom asked
“Mom, its Nicole. I’m coming home.”
“Are Jordan and Frankie coming with you?”
“No, they’re staying here because they’re going overseas in a few months.”
“It’ll be alright, Nicole.” Frankie said. “I hope you’re right.” I said, as I laid down. That night didn’t go as we planned. I had to be discharged from the army before we had a chance to go overseas.
My brothers were the only ones in the army and I couldn’t watch out for them. I hope they’ll be alright; I couldn’t lose my brothers just like I lost my daughter. They were the only family I had left and I couldn’t lose them too. I just hope they’ll be alright without me. The next morning I was discharged from the army and headed home, “Be safe and I’ll see ya’ll when you get home.” I said to my brothers. “We’ll be home, don’t worry.” Frankie said, as I headed home. “We love you!” Jordan said. “I love you, too.” I replied, as I cried. I never thought I’d be separated from my brothers, but this was the hardest thing I ever had to do. There was no guarantee that my brothers were coming home, but I had hope that they would come home. They were the bravest boys I knew and I knew that they were coming home and we could be a family again, I had hope that they would come home.
Chapter II: All Alone without my brothers to protect me:
I went to check the mail and there was something from the army: 
Ms. Laverne,
 I regret to inform you that the soldiers named Frankie and Jordan Laverne were killed in action in Iraq. I’m really sorry for your loss. They will be brought home on Friday, so you can make their final arrangements. We send our deepest sorrows.
Before calling my mom, I sat in the kitchen and looked at the letter like I was in a trance, I couldn’t believe it, but the proof was there in my hands, my brothers were gone! After I read that I ran into the house and called mom right away!
“Mom!” I yelled into the phone
“What happened? Are you alright?” my mom asked
“Yes, but I got a message from the army.” I replied
“What did it say?” my mom asked
“You might want to sit down.” I replied
“What did it say, Nicole?” my mom asked again
“Frankie and Jordan were killed in action.” I finally said
I never thought this day would come where I had to bury my two brothers who I just left a couple of months ago. I knew that I should’ve stayed where they were at; this wouldn’t have happened if I stayed. A few minutes later, I was on the way to my mom’s work to pick her up. “They said their bodies will be here on Friday so we can make the final arrangements.” I said, as we drove home. “I never thought I’d have to bury both of my sons.” mom said, as she started to cry again. “I knew I should’ve stayed, despite the miscarriage that I had.” I replied. “Don’t say that. I’m glad you came home.” mom said, as we got home. “Jordan and Frankie would still be here if I stayed.” I replied. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened.” mom said, as we went into the house.  I couldn’t believe that Frankie and Jordan were gone and I didn’t say goodbye. When we got into the house, mom went upstairs to go to bed and I headed to my room and went to sleep. We had a hard couple days to get past, but how were we going to do it when Frankie and Jordan were no longer here with us? When Friday came, I was dressed in a black dress and black flats. When we got to the funeral home, I could see my brothers side by side, it looked like they were sleeping and would wake up any minute and say “Surprise!” but I know that they weren’t going to do that; my brothers were gone. This felt like a dream because I know my brothers weren’t dead, but seeing them in the coffins side by side, I know now that my brothers weren’t coming back, no matter how much I wanted to be with them.
During the funeral, I had to give a eulogy:
 Jordan and Frankie were the best brothers anyone could’ve asked for. They watched out for you, even if you weren’t a friend or family; they were also brave.During our senior year of high school, everyone would ask them what they wanted to do in life and they always answered “We’re going to the army.” They knew what they wanted and they were going to go for it. I was in the army too, but I was discharge a few weeks before they were set to go to Iraq. My brothers were the bravest soldiers I know and they’ll be forever missed.
After the funeral, we headed to the cemetery where we said our last goodbyes and buried both of my brothers. I thought to myself “Now my daughter has her father up there.” as I looked at the gravestone one last time and walked away. I never thought I would lose the two closest people; my own brothers. We haven’t even buried Frankie and Jordan and already I missed them like crazy. If I didn’t get pregnant, I would’ve still been in the army with them and they would’ve still been here. When I got home, mom was upstairs sleeping, so I got a photo album down out of the closet and looked through it. It was a photo album of Frankie, Jordan and me during our high school years; we were so happy! Frankie was the cool one, Jordan was the crazy one and I was the pretty one. We were the popular kids and most powerful in high school. We had a bunch of friends that we always hung out with and we were never home on the weekends, because we were at parties or football games. Frankie was the quarterback of the football team and I was the head cheerleader. Jordan wasn’t into sports as much as we were, but he always came to our games to cheer us on or bring us food. All of us went to prom, Frankie took me and Jordan took some girl just to bring her, he didn’t even like her. That night, Frankie, Jordan and I took a picture together and had 3 copies of it, so we all took one. Frankie and Jordan’s copies are at their houses with their parents and mine is on my nightstand beside my bed. I missed them like crazy, but I’d see them again. I was really sure I could get over my brothers’ deaths, because they know that I’m stronger than that.

Part II: A few years after Frankie & Jordan’s death

 It’s been a few years since Frankie and Jordan’s death, but it gets easier. I’ve been working full time at a bar that Frankie’s brother owns and I get paid really well. Derrick (Frankie’s younger brother) helps me out whenever he can. It feels like I still have Frankie here, because Derrick is just like Frankie in the same way. “Nicole, we need two Miller Lites for table 4!” Derrick said, as I grabbed them. “On it!” I replied back. It’s been a hard couple of years, but it gets better over time. After a few hours of working and around 10pm (when the bar closes) Derrick and the rest of us sit down and drink a few. “Today was very hectic. Are you sure you’re okay, Nicole?” Derrick asked. “Yea, I’m fine. I was just thinking about Frankie.” I replied. “I know it’s hard, but we’ll get through it.” Derrick asked, as I nodded. “I’m going to their grave after work.” I replied. “You can have tomorrow off.” Derrick said. “Its okay, Derrick. I’ll be here tomorrow. I have to pay my bills.” I replied. “Nicole, listen to him. You’re not the only one who lost someone. Derrick knows what he’s talking about.” Nicholas (another guy that works with us) said. “Nicky, not to sound like a total bitch, but I’m fine. I went all these years without them and I’ve done pretty well. I’ll be here tomorrow.” I told Nicky. When I got home, I went into the room that Jordan always slept in when he stayed with us; I cried. I miss them more every time I see something that reminded me of them. When I was laying down, I looked at the prom picture that Jordan, Frankie and I took and I remembered that was the perfect night of our lives. That night, Frankie proposed to me and I cried, Frankie was everything I ever wanted and I finally had him. A few weeks later, the 3 of us joined the army and a few months later, Frankie and Jordan were killed. When I found out, it was the worst day of my life, I didn’t leave the house for almost a month and I kept looking at their pictures and going to their gravesite; I’d give anything to have them back, fortunately one night I got my wish. One night I was sleeping and I heard a noise and a voice. “You think it’s okay to be here?” one voice said. “We used to live here.” a second voice came. I grabbed my flashlight from under the bed and quietly got out of bed and tiptoed to the door. I swung that door open and I was face to face with two people I believed to be dead! “Jordan? Frankie?” I asked, as they nodded. “Hello, Nicole.” Frankie said. “Aren’t you…dead?” I asked, still holding the flashlight.
“Yes, but God has given us a 2nd chance. We never got to say goodbye to you or any of our friends. He is giving us a few months to say goodbye to everyone and to fix what was messed up after we left.” Jordan explained, as I sat on the couch. “Can anyone else see you?” I asked, as Jordan shook his head. “You prayed that you’d give anything to have us back and we’re here.” Frankie said. “Also, I have a message from your daughter.” Frankie added. “My daughter?” I asked. “The baby you lost when we were in the army.” Jordan replied. “She said she’s okay and misses you a lot and she’s glad that her father and uncle are up there to raise her.” Frankie explained. “I missed you guys so much.” I said. “We missed you, too. You have to take better care of yourself; you’re not doing so well. I understand that you have Derrick and Nicky to help you at the bar, but who’s going to help you here at home?” Frankie asked. “I’m fine by myself, baby.” I replied. “Nicole, you can’t heal yourself if you’re alone. You need someone to be here with you to help you. I know I’ve been gone for a while, but you need some help, baby. Call Derrick or Nicky and ask them to help you.” Frankie said. “I’m a mess aren’t I?” I asked. “You’ve been a mess since we died. You need help taking care of the house and bills; you can’t do it alone, my love. When’s the last time you paid the electric bill?” Jordan asked, flipping on the switch and it didn’t come on. “I don’t know. The bar’s not doing so well.” I replied. “You need help. Ask Derrick to give you more hours or ask Nicky to come live with you. You know he looks up to you.” Frankie said. “Yea, I’m like a big sister to him.” I replied. “Exactly! You need to start looking at yourself and taking care of yourself.” Frankie said.
“I never told you this before, but when you two died, I honestly wanted to join you.” I admitted. “I understand why you thought that, but that’s not going to solve the problem, Nicole. You need to be here. It was enough for my mom when Jordan and I died. How do you think she’d feel if you died too?” Frankie said. “She’d be really upset, because her whole world was gone.” I said. “I’d be really upset too because you’re my whole world. I don’t want to see you like this. I want you to be happy.” Frankie said. “How can I be happy if you’re not here?” I asked. “You’ll have to find that out for yourself, but trust me, a world without you isn’t a world at all, it’s hell. I love you, Nicole.” Frankie said. “I love you, too, Frankie.” I replied
After that visit with Frankie and Jordan, I knew it was time to stop mourning for them and straighten my life up. Frankie and Jordan wouldn’t want me to live like this and living like this almost destroyed my life. The next day, I woke up, got dressed and went to work. While I was at work, Nicky came in, “Nicole, I have an interview around 2pm, can you take my shift for me?” he asked, as I was cleaning the glasses. “Sure, Nicky. Good luck on the interview.” I said. “Thank you.” Nicky replied, as he left. After Nicky left, Derrick came up. “Nicole, we have two people out tomorrow. Do you think you can handle it?” Derrick asked, as I nodded. “Thank you. Also, for the hard work you’re doing, you can have next week off.” Derrick said. “The whole week?” I asked, as Derrick nodded. “You’ve been doing such a great job here. You deserve it.” Derrick said, as he left. I thought to myself. “Jordan and Frankie must have done something for me to get all this money.” as I shook it off. That night before we closed Nicky came in, “Nicole! I got the job!” Nicky said, as I hugged him. “Congratulations!” I replied. “I will still help you with the bar, if it’s okay.” Nicky said. “Nicky, I don’t own it, sweetheart. You’re going to have to talk to Derrick about that.” I explained. “I just talked to Derrick. Another person offered him a job and he wrote down a contract stating that he’s giving you his bar. He said you’ve done so well and all the money we’re making is good. All you have to do is sign.” Nicky explained. I looked at Nicky and looked at the corner, there was Jordan and Frankie telling me to go ahead and sign it, “You’ve wanted this your entire life, now its yours.” and I picked up the pen and signed it. I was now the owner of “Derrick’s” but I told Nicky I wanted to change the name of it to “Frankie and Jordan’s” and he didn’t mind that at all. My life was getting better and it was all thanks to Jordan and Frankie. That night, I paid my electric bill and all the other bills that had to be paid. I was doing pretty well. While I was reading a book in the living room, I heard a noise, but I knew it was Frankie and Jordan. “Hey, Nicole.” Jordan said. “Hey Jordan. Where’s Frankie?” I asked. “Here I am.” Frankie said. “Did you see what happened? I’m the owner of the bar.” I replied. “That’s great! I’m really happy for you. You’ve done really great. How is Nicky?” Jordan asked.
“He’s doing well. He got a new job, but he still comes to help me with the bar. Derrick was offered another job and gave the bar to me.” I explained. “That’s wonderful! See, I told you that once you motivate yourself that you’ll get what you want.” Frankie said. “Yea. How are you guys doing?” I asked. “Doing pretty well. We’ve watched you everyday since we’ve been gone and you’re doing much better now.” Frankie said. “Yea, you two were my whole world, but I know that there was no way to bring you back, so I had to get on with my life and stop moping. Did you know on your birthdays I go to the cemetery and spend it with you?” I asked, as they shook their heads. “Yea. We always spent our birthdays together, so why break the tradition up because you’re gone?” I asked. “That’s a good idea.” Frankie said, as he turned because he heard something that I didn’t hear. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Nothing, but you have a visitor that wants to see you.” Jordan said. When he came out, he was carrying our daughter, “Nicole, this is your daughter. The one you lost.” Frankie said, as I held her. “I finally got to see my daughter?” I asked, as Frankie nodded. “She’s been waiting forever to see her mother.” Frankie said. “Thank you, Frankie. I love you.” I said. A few minutes later, Frankie told me that they had to leave, but they would be back again to see me. “I’ll be waiting.” I said, as I stood there staring at my family. “We love you.” Frankie and Jordan said at the same time, while Frankie was holding my daughter. “I love you guys too.” I replied, as I saw them leave. It’s nice to see my fiancée and his brother again. I just wish they didn’t have to leave, but I know I’ll see them someday. They have blessed me with a good job and a fantastic house.
The next morning, I woke up to a note on my mirror:
 We’re so happy that you’re doing really well and Bridget is happy that she got to see her mother for the first and last time. We love you so much and we can’t wait to be a family again. If you need us, you know where we’ll be at.
After I read the note, I got ready for work and headed to the bar. When I got there, Nicky was already there! “Hey, Nicole!” Nicky said, as I walked behind the bar. “How’s it going?” I asked. “Good, the bar is doing very well. How are you?” Nicky asked. “Good, could be better but I know there’s no way to bring them back.” I explained. I knew that Frankie and Jordan weren’t coming back and I had to accept that. During the night, it was kind of slow, but I knew in time that it was going to pick up. After work, I headed home. It was going to be a rough couple of days, not because Frankie and Jordan weren’t there anymore. I know that in time it will pick up, but we’ve been understaffed for so long, I had to hire new experienced people who’ve worked in bars, because Nicky and I couldn’t do this alone, so we hired more people. I had my brother Nicky and Frankie and Jordan watching over us, what more did I need than that? I was in the army, so I knew what to do if the bar turns violent. Frankie and Jordan taught me how and I thank them for the training they gave me before we went in the army; I was part of the boys and that’s all thanks to Frankie and Jordan for bringing me up like one of the boys.

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