Regret & of dreams and drink

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Love is awful.

Submitted: May 30, 2018

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Submitted: May 30, 2018

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Regret 

I don’t hate you.

No.

I could never bring myself to that.

Though I’ve cursed your name and you ran away,

I still feel a little for you...

I can’t say the same for you, however.

We failed at love,

Yet that’s not so bad

I doubt now, that we are even the same people.

The partial problem.

We hid our true selves.

Strangers pretending to be lovers.

I don’t suppose, I’ll ever find out the real you now.

But I’ll still hold out hope,

An idiots dream.

One day I hope I’ll meet you again,

Though I may stumble over me words because...

 

I don't want to say "I love you" 

That would give away too much. 

It's hip to be detached and precious, 

The only thing you feel is vicious.

 

I don't want to say "I want you" 

Even though I want you so much. 

It's wrapped up in conversation, 

It's whispered in a hush.

 

Though I'm frightened by the word, 

Think it's time I made it heard.

 

No more empty self possession, 

Visions swept under the mat. 

It's no New Years resolution, 

It's more than that.

 

 

I dreamt of you last night,

My lost chance,

My damaged love.

The fever dream of the inebriated mind.

We danced. Oh we danced,

And we held each other for the first time in months.

I could see your smile,

The life, the fire in your eyes.

Your warmth was so very real to me.

I don’t want this though.

You’re out of my reach,

A fact I accept with open arms.

Why does this apparition keep appearing?

I drank to forget,

Even though it’s an act of futility.

Alcohol and opioids only dull, 

They do not cure.

What a chore this has become,

I suffer in silence over trivialities,

Drinking myself stupid.

“I thought this stuff was supposed to make you feel better.”

...

...

...

“No. It’s supposed to make you feel nothing”

 

I have used lyrics from Nessage to my Girl, by Split Enz and a quote from M*A*S*H (1973 TV version) for both of these. So they are not wholly mine.

 


© Copyright 2018 Khaos’ Champion. All rights reserved.

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