Pyril City Blues

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


A small series of stories loosely based on the Superhero genre. Set in the fictional city of Pyril. Adult language and mild violence. Updated: Now includes all three stories. Cover from Freepik

Submitted: May 31, 2018

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Submitted: May 31, 2018

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The End of the Beginning

 

Inside a small apartment kitchen, several larger than average men men were sitting around a cheap square table playing poker. The place seemed out of place around the men with its décor from another era and faded paint on the walls. None of the men looked extraordinary beyond the hints of well toned muscles under their shirts, but the air around them seemed palpable and the room fairly did its best just to contain their auras.

The banter they shared was good natured if not a little less than quiet. For the most part they focused on their cards and their bets. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary except it was. As if the apartment could no longer contain itself with presence of these men the old door to the hallway was kicked open and there in the doorway stood a costumed super villain holding an evil looking weapon full of sharp knife like protrusions and tubes and knobs ending in a vicious gaping opening clearly meant to convey how dangerous the weapon was.

Ha! Super Fools!” The costumed villain proclaimed in an overly confident voice. “I have you all right where I want you!” He smirked an evil smirk and leveled the weapon towards the table.

The men barely looked up from their cards, except for the one dealing. He didn't stop handing out cards as he turned his bored gaze toward the villain.

Give it a rest Carl.” He said with a cigarette hanging from his lips. The Villain got a puzzled look on his face. Inside the kitchen the men continued to look over their cards, still ignoring the villain in the doorway and started the betting.

I know not who this Carl is!” The costumed villain proclaimed. “I am Maximilian! The most feared villain this city has ever seen. And I am here to destroy you all now so you will not be able to thwart my evil plans!” Maximilian laughed manically, but it tapered off and stopped when he noticed none of the men are paying any attention to him, but played another hand instead.

Go right ahead.” Said one of the men after folding his new hand.

Yeah, knock yourself out.” say another also folding. The dealer smiled and reached in to rake the pot. The Villain squinted his eyes and surveyed the room more closely. Something felt wrong, but he needed to think for a minute before it came to him.

None of you are in costume.” Maximilian pointed out. He was clearly upset by this, but the men went right on ignoring him and played yet another hand. Maximilian clucked his tongue as he pondered what was going on. This was not how he had envisioned his epic battle with the city's greatest defenders, but he felt like he was losing again. He struggled with his inner insecurities, but regained his confidence and grinned what he hoped was a sufficiently evil grin.

Your clever mind games won't work on me!” Maximilian shouted unnecessarily. “I now know all of your secret identities!” He tried to gloat, but the men at the table still refused to look up at him.

Ooooo, I'm so fucking scared. Carl.” Replied one of the group as he asks for another card before folding in disgust again. Maximilian was clearly perplexed. He had imagined fighting through an army of the greatest heroes the city had ever known, but..but.. But he recovered when he remembered that he was armed. He held up his weapon again and this time a true evil grin spread across his face. He would show them!

I have a Neural Phase Blaster!” He proclaimed. He was obviously proud of it. The next in line to deal started shuffling the deck as the rest anted.

I have a Neural Phase Blaster.” Said one of the men in a mocking tone. “Well, take it with you outside and good luck.” And he added after a brief pause, “Carl.” He looked at his cards and folded again disgusted. “You sure you're shuffling right?” He asked the new dealer.

Fuck off Bob.” was the only reply.

Maximilian just kept standing in the doorway stunned as the gun slowly dropped to his side. It weighed several pounds and he had a hard time keeping it up and level even when he was practicing. Worse still, this was not going well for him and he couldn't figure out why. He held all the advantages, but just stood there watching them play another yet hand for a couple minutes before scratching his head with the business end of the weapon. Not the smartest thing to do with all the sharp edges on the weapon and he winced as he drew a little blood. He had to feel to see how bad he had actually cut himself, but his hand came away with just a drop. Thank god he thought. The sight of blood made him ill.

Maximilian then jumped forward a little as another man tried to enter the kitchen from behind him, but finding his way blocked, he had goosed Maximilian. As he passed, the new man give Maximilian a terse smile before turning his attention to the players.

Titan!” Maximilian exclaimed. The man called Titan threw a large bag of take-out on the table and the others ignored their cards and reached for the bag and began to pull out burgers looking at what was written on each burger's wrapper. Titan handed the original dealer a soda. The large man stared at it with disdain.

Diet? You really are an evil bastard Steve.” He says to Titan.

I thought you were trying to lose weight.” Titan replied then Paused before adding, “Fatty.” with a wick grin. The other men all laugh at the joke as they figure out which burger belongs to who. The man with the soda sighed and opens it away from himself. But it hadn't been shaken.

Titan?” asked Maximilian. He is even more confused than before.

Titan took a seat next to the original dealer, “Not anymore.” Steve replied. He shift his seat in a little and reached for a burger. “Gave up being a super villain. Too much fucking work.”

Yeah, but you work for an investment bank now!” The man called Bob pointed out.

Didn't say I wasn't still evil.” replied Steve and everyone at the table laughed.

What's wrong with you people!” Shouted Maximilian. The laughter stopped and the men at the table finally all looked at him. He felt strangely uneasy as their dead faced stares made him wilt.

We quit.” Said Bob. “Have fun running the City. Carl.”

Quit? Super Heroes can't quit!” Maximilian whined. “I mean why? And I my name is not Carl!”

The men looked around the table at each other and shrugged, but otherwise ignored Maximilian.

Fine, I don't care about any of that! I have my new super weapon and you all would have been powerless against it anyway! Especially you mister so called Demonhunter!” He said in a loud confident voice, looking right at the one called Bob. Bob sighed and looked to the man sitting nearest the sink.

Electroman, you mind?” He asked. Eric sighed too, but leaned back to the drawer next to the sink and pulled out a tuning fork. Maximilian looked at it without understanding. Eric gave the fork a whack on the table and pointed it at the weapon. Maximilian was horrified as he felt the gun begin to vibrate in his hands. It suddenly fell apart into a thousand pieces, leaving him holding just the grips.

Now what Carl?” sneered Steve.

Mother Fucker!” Maximilian shouted. “I spent twenty thousand on that!”

I know.” Responded Bob with a quick, barking laugh. I own the companies you have been buying your gear from. Just so you know, costs me under $300 to make that piece of shit.”

What an idiot” snickered one of the other men.

Oh like you didn't waste a ton of money on that so called super fucking car of yours Slickster!” Eric exclaimed. The men start arguing amongst themselves over who wasted more money on gear and costumes.

What the Hell!” Screamed Maximilian, he stamped his foot for emphasis, but that was a bad move as he stepped on one of the sharper pieces of what had been his weapon. It didn't penetrate his boot, but he still had to shift his footing. The men stopped their squabbling and again stared at the Villain who is starting to feel out of place being the only one present in costume.

Listen Carl. We got together and talked it over and Super Hero work is just not worth it. Long hours, trying to live two lives.” There is a general agreement at this. “Not being able to enjoy a moment's peace because someone is always in trouble somewhere and while they love being saved, they love suing your ass more after you break their stuff saving them.” Explained Bob.

Hey you think that's bad, my Super Hero alter ego Electroman has got four paternity suits pending right now!” Announced Eric.

Thought you were gay.” asked another at the table.

I am gay, that's what makes it so funny!” replied Eric with a quick laugh.

Explains why you kissed me during that last fight!” Steve said as the others laughed.

Noticed you didn't stop me.” Eric retorted. There was more laughter. Even Maximilian snickered a little, but shook his head to regain his composure.

What about the City?” Maximilian pleaded.

Have you ever actually run a city or any kind of government?” Asked Steve. Maximilian shook his head no.

Remember when I took over the city two years ago?” Steve asked

An already uncomfortable Maximilian looked more sheepish than before, “Well I was in jail then.” he admitted weakly.

Yeah. And believe me, you were better off. Governments exist to make sure the garbage gets picked up, the buses run on time and the roads get repaired. Plus ten million other things you never have think about until you are in charge. Everyone wants you to make the decisions and no matter what you decide, someone hates you for making it!” Steve explained as he shook his head at the memory. It had not been a fun time at all.

You are a super villain.” Maximilian pointed out. “You're suppose to be hated.”

Not like this!” Steve was almost shouting as his memories of that time annoyed him still. “I rob a bank and at least there are always a few dolts that think you're cool dude for doing it. But run a city and everyone and I mean EVERYONE hates you. Even when you try to do something good for a change. Fuck that.” He looked at his cards and place his bet. The rest fold and he smirked as he took the pot. He looks up at Maximilian still in the doorway looking anything, but dangerous now. Steve rolled his eyes and explained more.

Look, now I work at a bank and not only do I get to legally steal more money than I ever have dreamed of before, the government pays me more money to fix the problems I caused stealing it in the first place!” He hooted. The rest of the table groaned at this.

Got to admire him. Finally found a legal way to fuck us all.” Bob said to himself and started dealing another hand.

Maximilian was shuffling his feet now. Kicking at the remains of his weapon. The rest have gone back to ignoring him. After a few very uncomfortable moments, he spoke again.

Can I play?” He asked softly as he slowly removed his mask.

Lose the costume first.” Ordered Eric.

You would like that wouldn't you?” sneered Steve. And everyone laughed again.

Seriously, go home, change into normal clothes and bring back some beer. Then you can play.” Bob told him, “And make sure to buy a good beer. None of that 'lite' crap.” He snapped. Carl's face brightened and he smiled and left with a bounce in his step. The rest play another hand before speaking again.

He really is a moron.” Steve said to no one in particular.

Yeah, we know, but at least we don't have to chase down his stupid ass now.” Said one of the others.

I'm sure The Moon would have loved to fight him.” Bob said with a chuckle.

The Moon? That jackass still thinks he's a super hero?” Steve asked. There is a general grumbling at The Moon's incompetence and a general contempt for his weak super hero name as the men played another hand. But it got quiet as they all looked at their cards, until one of them broke the silence.

Bet the little cocksucker brings back non-alcoholic beer.” Another at the table muttered.

Even if he does, I'd still let him blow me.” Eric said with a little too much enthusiasm. The others stop looking at their cards and stare at him. “What?! He's still got a great body. Even if he is thick as a brick.” He explained. The rest laughed again and started the betting again.

At least he's less annoying than Moon is.” Bob said mostly to himself.

A city gets the heroes it deserves.” Steve pointed out and laughed again as he took another pot.

this city is so boned.” Bob muttered to himself as he shuffled the cards for the next hand.

 

The End.

 

To catch a supervillian

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

Joe finally was able to relax. He had decided that he had enough fighting against the system and he would now enjoy what remained of his life as a good citizen. He had been pleasantly surprised that he found prison so good for his soul. As a super criminal he had a single specially designed cell to himself and plenty of time to catch up on his reading.

It was a little weird at first having a cell made of clear shatter proof glass with guards stationed in towers with machine guns watching him 24/7, but the bed was comfortable and he had a nice recliner to read in and he had rediscovered his love of science fiction. But all good things come to an end.

The Warden rapped the glass door of Joe's specially built cell with a nightstick. “Viper!” The Warden shouted with authority that came from being on the outside of the cell. Joe refused to turn over in bed to face the warden. He liked his privilege of being the most dangerous criminal behind bars and wanted to make sure the Warden knew his place in the pecking order.

“Viper don't make get the hoses.” The Warden warned him and Joe sighed.

“Fine.” He said. He grabbed the bed's controller and raised his body into heads up position, but he kept the foot part of the bed flat. He also made sure to have an extremely bored face on to let the Warden know how he felt about him around.

“Viper!” The Warden growled, but he paused, he was in a very tough spot and wasn't sure how to continue. He hated dealing with Viper. The man always made him feel small.

“That's three times. Next one is free Warden.” Joe smiled a thin lipped smile and continued to stare at the Warden like he was a bug. The Warden bristled and seriously considered ordering the hoses anyway, but he had his orders.

It was obvious that the Warden was even more perturbed than usual when having to deal with Viper today. He couldn't even look up as he muttered the words that grated like fingernials on his soul, “The city needs you.” The Warden said almost too quickly to be heard. He felt dirty just for saying it.

“What?” Joe looked around his cell. Was there someone else in here with him?

“Viper!” The Warden had to take a deep breath and managed to look Joe eye to eye, “The city needs you. Dragus is raising hell and you are the only one that can stop him.” The pain on the Warden's face was palpable. Joe still wasn't sure he was hearing this right, but sat up. He grimaced a little when his bare feet touched the cold floor. His slippers were over by the chair where he left them last night.

“Vicky? What's he doing this time?” Joe thought for a second and asked, “Trying to make all the toilets flush backwards again?”

“Thank God no.” The Warden replied, “But he has some sort of stupification ray and we are so far powerless to stop him.” Joe eyed him suspiously.

“Why isn't The Moon taking care of this? I thought he was the city's knight in shining armor now that the League of Heroes all retired.” Joe was getting interested in this despite his wanting to remain aloof. He couldn't help himself. He loved talking shop.

“The Moon is a babbling, drooling idiot now.” The Warden hung his head, he had just bought stock in The Moon's newest restaurant chain, Moon Burgers.

“And how is that different than before?” Joe said with a straight face, but he wanted a high five for it, but from inside the cell he would have to settle for a mental one.

“Ha ha.” The Warden said tonelessly to show his disapproval. “The Moon was the first one hit by the ray and at last check was now enrolled at City University trying to get a degree in Internet Journalism.” That shook Joe hard!

“I didn't know it was that bad.” Joe replied and looked around his cell as if something might be hiding nearby, but didn't know why. Must be one of those instinctual habits leftover from when humans still slept in caves.

“It's that bad. So bad that I have a conditional order for one Joesph “Viper” Wilson's immediate release.” The Warden held up an official looking document. Joe leaned closer to read the fine print, but he couldn't get close enough due to the thickness of the cell walls and his reading glasses were still on the table by his reading chair.

“What's that say?” Joe pointed to a sub-clause and the Warden just rolled his eyes and sighed. Why? Why didn't he listen to his mother and take that job at the supermarket instead of going to the academy? He could have been the head cart getter by now.

“Just agree you idiot and I can let you out.” The Warden said as he shook his head. What had become of his city? It wasn't like this when the League of Heroes was around. Now they had what? The Moon? He was mostly harmless. More of a publicity hound than hero. He often took credit for work the police actually did, but no one seemed to mind that much. Now in a time of real crisis, he was having to turn to a criminal mastermind to save the city from a criminal mastermind. Life just wasn't fair sometimes.

“No.” Joe smiled and launched himself into his chair. As it spun around, he felt he should laugh. He had only this morning decided to stop being a criminal mastermind and just learn to enjoy his incarceration. The city could go fuck itself as far as he was concerned.

“Alright.” The Warden smiled and started rolling up the document, “Of course we will need to move you to the general population as we will be saving this cell for when Victor finally gets caught.” Joe stopped his spinning and looked hard at the warden. He didn't care for the threat, but it was a risk he couldn't afford to take. General population was full of his ex-henchmen that he had betrayed for the fun of it. Not the greatest place for him to be if he wanted to keep breathing with his own lungs.

“So. Is this afternoon too soon?” Joe asked sweetly while batting his eyes and the Warden's face turned red.

“Just say yes and get the fuck out of my prison already!” The Warden yelled as he kicked that cell with his boot several times in anger.

“On one condition!” Joe sat back and smiled his most evil smile.

“What is it this time?” The Warden was a defeated man and they both knew it.

“I want HBO when I get back.” Joe twirled his chair around again and this time he did laughed.

“Do you have any idea how much HBO costs these days?” The Warden demanded, but knew he would have to agree to it, “Fine! Get out! Get out now!” He unlocked the door and held it wide. Joe stopped his spinning and looked at the door as a cloud of doubt crossed his face.

“Now?” He asked timidly.

“NOW! NOW! NOW!” Screamed the Warden and signaled for the riot squad that was waiting in the wings to drag Viper out of his cell. The Struggle was not pretty and Joe cursed them the whole way through the prison as they dragged his kicking past the other special prisoners, though the kitchen area which was a real insult. It was taco Tuesday and Joe loved tacos. They dragged him right to the front gate. The guards did a one, two, three and heaved him out. Joe landed with a thump only to hear them lock the prison gate behind him to keep him from forcing his way back in.

“I'll be back! You can't keep me out forever!” Screamed Joe as he shook his fist at the gate. “I swear I will back in my cell! You can't keep me out forever!” He yelled a second time and mentally slapped himself for repeating it. He wrote ift off to the trama of the moment, but he paused for moment more and took a deep breath. Joe stood up straight to regain his composure and brushed his prison uniform off. That made him stop and think, “Hey! Where's my stuff?” Joe shouted at the sealed doors. He heard the noise of a lock being undone, but couldn't place where the sound came from. It wasn't the main gate. Until a cardboard box was thrown from a window two stories up and landed at his feet. Joe knelt and opened the box. Joe nodded to himself as he pulled the contents out and viewed them. His evil criminal mastermind clothes had been inside and nicely ironed too. Now he just needed a place to change.

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Joe felt lost as he wandered the streets. Streets that he once felt so home on. Had he been locked away for too long already? It had been a long six months to be sure, but the world looked so different. There on the corner where before an opening soon sign had covered the windows was a new store. He hoped he would be able to adapt to this new strange world.

Joe leaned up against a post and watched as the crowds of people went on about their pointless, worthless lives. Going to work, going shopping, going home to their loving families. “Suckers.” He said aloud, but quiet enough that none heard him. But this was getting him nowhere fast. If he was going to get back into prison, he was going to have to find Victor and stop him.

“What the fuck did I just say?” Joe said loud enough this time that several people looked at him. He got wide eyed and quickly turned to leave. He moved towards the center of the city and his old hidden lair. Unlike so many of his competitors, he kept a lair on the fringe of the business district instead of the poorer neighborhoods. There were always someone outside watching in those neighborhoods. But not the business district. People never stayed around after hours in the business district. Still Joe wondered if his lair was still there after such a long time away.

Joe got to the right alleyway and did a look up and down the street before ducking down into it. He hurried to the secret entrance and pushed the hidden button and the door totally failed to unlock. He pushed the button again and again until finally a slit opened on the door.

“Heard you the first time!” The voice complained with the eyes glaring back at Joe. But suddenly the eyes got wide and Joe could hear the locks being worked. “Viper!” The Moon said and reached out, grabbed and hugged Joe for an uncomfortable amout of time.

Joe, surprised to say the least, managed to finally push The Moon away and wanted to ask what the hell was going on, but The Moon suddenly remembered where they were and pulled Joe violently into the hallway and slammed the door shut behind them. Joe could hear the locks being thrown again in the darkness.

“Moon, if I asked what the fuck was going on, would you drop dead for me?” Joe asked politely. It may have been dark, but he could swear that he saw a tear in The Moon's eye.

“Cut me deep V.” The Moon replied and helped Joe to get off the floor where he had landed after The Moon pulld him in.

“You are suppose to be a drooling stupid moron now. I mean more so than normal.” Joe said and ran his hand through his hair. He could feel something there, but wasn't sure what, or if he wanted to know. It kept just touching the edge of his hair and he kept trying to shoo it away. The Moon turned on the lights and Joe was relieved to see that it was just the end of a string to an old ceiling fan.

“I wanted to take a vacation and you remember Eddie, Razorman's little snot nosed nephew?” Moon asked and Joe nodded, “Well he kept badgering me about wanting to be a hero, so I told him I would give him a taste. It had been pretty quiet of late and thought what's the worse that could happen? So I dressed him up in one of my old costumes and sent him out and hopefully to get his ass kicked a little. Only instead of finding some cheap thug or mugger, he runs into Dragus and his new evil weapon.”

“I heard about it. Some sort of stupifidaction ray or something.” Joe said.

“Yeah, well Dragus doesn't know its not me and bang! Shoots Eddie with this gun and the next thing you know, Eddie is all over the news like he is the real me and how he's been zapped by this ray. Well now I can't go out as me!” explained The Moon as led Joe back into the lair proper. Joe was mentally cussing himself out for letting it happen! This was his place! He didn't need Moon treating him like guest in his own lair. But he had a question.

“Whatever happened to Razorman? I heard he gained a ton of weight after he hung up his costume.” Joe asked The Moon as they entered the main part of the lair. He had not kept up with the League after it retired.

The Moon paused, looked behind them and then down at the floor before he remembered that he was holding the remote control in his hand that he had been looking for and turned the lights up. “Yeah, Bob really let himself go. Claimed being a fat man in a skinny superhero's body was killing him.” The Moon said as he kicked a pizza box under the table that was covered in pizza boxes. “So anyway, back to my problem. What to do? The only place I know to get away from everyone is this old hideout of yours, of course I had to talk Luxur into coming in and spruce the place up some. You really need to let the sixties go man.”

Joe felt his blood go cold, “Tell me you didn't get rid of my record collection.” Joe could feel a cold pit forming in his stomach. He had started his entire criminal career just to afford those old records.

“They're fine.”The Moon assured him, “But we trashed your bean bag chairs. Fuck man, it wase nothing, but duck tape anyway.”

Relieved, Joe let out the breath he didn't know he was holding in, “I know, but the memories...” Joe looked around his lair. Luxur was a villian wannabe, but mostly stuck to fashion crimes. But Joe had to admit he had done a nice job. Except for the empty take out containers everywhere it wasn't too bad. Not too flashy, but it still just didn't feel right. He loved the sixties, but maybe he had been away too long.

Joe followed Moon's direction and found his records and began thumbing through them. The relief was almost more than he could stand. Joe pulled out an old favorite and inspected the record for scratches. The Moon was standing behind him, watching with envy. He had never owned anything that meant that much to him. “Anyway Dragus is running around shooting people at random with this new gun of his and I can't stop him. Unless a new hero shows up, we're boned.” The Moon said as he stood there feeling lost.

“Yeah I know. They let me out of prison so I could stop him.” Joe told him and waited for The Moon to stop laughing. It was a long wait.

 

 

Chapter 3

 

Joe had enough waiting for The Moon to stop laughing and went back into his storage area. He was going to need some gear if he was going to stop Victor from destroying the city. He paused and looked in the full length mirror he used to make his costume was on right.

“Really?” He asked his reflection. He just shook his head. He hated that old send a criminal to stop a criminal cliché. But they wouldn't let him back in prison if he didn't stop Victor. That thought ran around his brain while he choose which special pants he should wear today. Then the thought found its home. Joe stopped again rummaging through his wardrobe and looked at his reflection yet one more time.

“Tell me I didn't just say that.” He ordered his reflection, but it choose not to respond yet again, but Joe did. Joe smacked himself in the head several times with the sleek villain's shoe he had in his hand. The shoe had been made of a super light weight material for him to sneak around with, so he hardly felt it, but sometimes the effort is good enough.

Finally properly dressed, Joe went back into the main chamber, but The Moon was still laughing hysterically. Moon was now on the floor holding his stomach almost crying he was laughing so hard. Joe walked past him with a nasty glare and back up ramp to the secret entrance and paused. He took a deep breath and undid the locks. The door opened and he stood there wondering what the hell he was doing. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and stepped out into the light of day.

Except it was late afternoon and it was getting dark as alleyway was cast in shadows. He smiled. He had chosen this alleyway just for this reason. Even in the noon day sun, it had shadows and was a good place for an ambush.

“Gimme your wallet.” The Thug said and flashed a knife in Joe's face. Somethings never change. Joe didn't bother to be startled, but turned his head to the side to give the mugger a better look at who he was..

“Do you even know who you are dealing with?” Joe asked very nicely and turned his head slightly to the left this time and stuck his chin out a bit. The Thug paused with a puzzled look and leaned in for a better look.

His face brightened. “Oh my God! You're Viper!” He slapped himself in the head with the hand that was holding the knife, but not hard. “Sorry man, but in the darkness...”

“I understand.” Joe told him and smiled.

After a moment of making I can't believe I was that stupid faces and apologizing, the mugger had a new request.“Can I get your autograph?” The Thug asked him like an excited child and handed Joe the knife, “Can you make it out to my favorite mugger?”

Joe felt around for a marker to autograph the blade, but he remembered that he had left it in with his wallet back in his lair. Not only did he not want to give the where abouts of his lair to the mugger, Joe didn't feel like having to ask The Moon to let him in again. So he looked up into the sky with a puzzled look of his own. The Thug, perplexed, looked up too. To get a knee in the groin.

“Sorry man, I didn't have a pen on me.” Joe told the Thug now laying on the ground holding his groin with both hands.

“I understand.” He said in a much higher voice than before, “I would have done the same in your shoes.”

“Mind if I keep the knife? I need to talk to someone about destroying the city without my permission.” Joe pocketed the switchblade and tipped his hand to his head and stepped over the Thug's body.

“Hey Viper!” The Thug called after him in what Joe swore was an even higher voice.

“Yes?” Joe turned to see what the mugger had to say.

“I just remembered that I got a marker.” He said as he held up a Sharpie. Joe sighed and walked back to the Thug and autographed the knife and handed it back to the mugger, but kept the marker. He was keeping something damn it!

“Thanks man, can't wait to show my wife and kids tonight!” The Thug said and Joe rolled his eyes as he made to the end of the alleyway. How was the thug ever going to make it in the big league with a wife and kid in tow? Anyway, he had a more important question to answer right then. Which way to go now?

 

 

Chapter 4

 

When in doubt, run away from the sirens. Joe told himself, but this time he needed to head towards them. And sirens were coming from the city's capital area. It made sense to him. If he was going to try and take over the city, that would be a good place to do it. He shuddered as the memories came flooding back.

He had taken over a small town once when he was just getting started and what a fucking headache. All he wanted was the power of life and death over those around him. He didn't care about the school board wanting to teach creationism or the Department of Social Services going on strike. And he truly hated the constant whining about the trash not getting picked up because he had kidnapped and ransomed the entire sanitation department. Not that anyone ended up paying their ransom.

Ever since then, he had stuck to just stealing money, jewels and the occasional Panda. Only he eventually got caught every time. He liked the money, jewels not so much, but they made a splash on the news. He couldn't help himself when it came to Pandas. Pandas were just so cute! Joe hated to admit it, but he liked getting caught too. All the media attention, the book deals, and especially the women. Why did they love criminals so much? And then they stuck him in that special cell that was very comfortable, but meant to keep him from escaping again. Damn he missed that cell.

His day dreaming was cut short as his attention was brought back to the present by all the screaming. A cop walked past him drooling and with a very dazed look on his face.

“Help him! He's been hit by the stupid ray!” A woman screamed from her hiding place behind a car parked on the side of the street. Joe looked at the cop again.

“How can you tell?” He asked her, but she took the opportunity to run away screaming the whole way. “Women, right?” He said to the cop.

“Duh.....,” The Cop replied and watched as the cop walked towards the shop with the flashing neon open sign and walk face first into the glass door. Joe shrugged and resumed walking. As he got a little further down the road, a thought struck him.

He really missed the long walks. He had never trusted cars, and especially after he made the mistake of letting Speed Demon drive to the movies that night. He stopped again and wondered what Speed Demon was doing these days. But he let the thought go just as quick as more people came running right at him screaming. Joe sighed and wish he had a gun just then. Not to actually shoot anyone. It just would be too funny to watch the panicked mob have to decide way to run. Towards the guy firing a gun wildly into the air with psychotic glee, or back towards the psycho with the stupid ray.

But he didn't have a gun and got pushed and shoved as the screaming mass went past in their panic. He took it with amazing grace if he did say so himself. He didn't punch one of them and only tripped the old lady bringing up the rear. It was humorous watching her fall in slow motion thanks to her walker, but it was taking forever and he was getting impatient. He finally took a deep breath, sighed and stopped her extremely slow downward spiral and set her on her way again.

“Must be getting soft in my old age.” Joe muttered to himself.

  Up ahead he could now see Victor standing on the roof of the city's capital building taking random pot shots at people as they fled this way and that. There were so many of them, it was hard to tell who he had shot already. Well some were easy to tell. Like the two judges dancing what looked like a waltz or the meter maid using the parking meter as a stripper's pole. But s few might just be terrified and crawling around on all fours trying to escape the area.

Joe stood there admiring Victor's work when a large convoy of military vehicles approached. Joe thought about how he could use this as a cover to stop Dragus. Or he could remember that he was a criminal too and issue a warning to Victor. Damn it was hard being a good guy, but he really liked his cell. Ultimately he decided to sit this one out and sat down on a park bench to enjoy the show. He sat back and put his feet up on the woman curled up on the ground that was crying like a baby just in front of him.

Victor spotted the convoy and fired several shots at it, but the armor proved able to resist the effects of the gun. Joe could see Victor pause and rethink his current strategy, but the big armored car in front stopped and the back opened. There the cops in riot gear were trying to get Eddie, still dressed as The Moon to face the right direction.

Eddie was still completely under the effects of the ray and the cops had to keep changing his movements back towards the steps to the building. Only Victor was now able to pick off the cops off one by one and soon they all were wandering back and forth. Behind them was another group of cops, but they were terrified to get any closer and stayed hidden behind their vehicle. Joe sighed, took his feet off the woman and did a little stretch as he left the bench. Joe then waved his arms at Victor to get his attention.

Bad move! Victor shot at him and barely missed! Joe rolled and tried to wave again to get Victor to understand he was a good guy...ah...bad guy too! But another blast came at him. His reflexes allowed him to evade this one too, but it hit a squirrel. Joe didn't wait around to see if it had any effect on it and ran in a zigzag pattern to the steps leading up to the door of the capital building and got under the cover of the ledges above. Victor couldn't hit him now and he let out a sigh of relief.

Until the black canister landed right in front of him. Instinctively he booted it away from himself and watched it sail to exploded over the cops that had been cowering behind the armored truck. Joe wanted to watch the show, but couldn't risk the next one having a shorter fuse. He entered the building and headed for the stairs. All round him were people that had been hit by the ray. Well at least he hoped it had been the ray.

 

 

Chapter 5

 

Joe made his way to the door leading out to the roof and stopped himself. What in the world was he doing again? Stopping Victor? How? With what? He banged his head gently against the door as he wondered if he was under the effects of the ray too, but didn't know it. Only the door opened suddenly and he fell forward to the outside.

It happened too fast for him to catch himself and he landed with a thud. When he opened his eyes he was staring straight at victor's boots. He knew they were Victor's as he had great taste in footwear and these were beautiful. A hand grabbed him by the collar and helped him up.

“Joe!” Victor gave him a hug made more awkward due to his still holding onto the huge ray gun.

“Hi Victor.” Viper said and squirmed under Victor's tight embrace. “You mind?”

“Oh! Sorry man.” Victor said with a great big grin on his face. “Come to help me take over the city?” Joe looked at the smile on Victor's face fade as he didn't respond. “No?”

“No.” Joe told him, “In fact they released me so I could stop you. You believe that shit?”

“Stop me?” Victor looked hurt, “I thought The Moon was suppose to stop me.” He looked over the ledge again and he let out a laugh as Eddie, still dress as The Moon was straddling the cannon of a tank below making boom noises.

“That's not The Moon.” Joe explained to Victor, “Its Eddie, The Razorman's nephew. The Moon is hiding out at my old lair like the chickenshit he is. Victor looked over the edge again and squinted.

“You know, I thought The Moon looked a little out of shape....” He trailed off and raise his raygun and hit a cop trying to sneak towards the front door. “Pew pew pew!” He shouted and laughed.” He took a breath and regain his composure. “So. The Moon ever planning on making an appearance to save the day or what?”

“Fraid not.” Joe was going through his options. Charge Victor and fight it out for the gun. Join him and take over the city? That one made him shutter.

“Then what?” asked Victor as he slowly raised the ray gun.

“That won't be necessary Victor.” Joe told him and walked over to the edge to look down, Eddie was now discussing something with the Mayor. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but the pantomime was spellbinding. There was an odd rhythmic motion to it. He shook his head to dislodge the image. “Damn!”

“So what's it going to be Viper.?” Victor was getting nervous. He was trying to watch Joe and make sure none of the non-effected cops didn't make a break for the door while he was distracted.

Joe frowned, “To tell you the truth, I haven't a clue what to do next. The Warden wants me to stop you, then go back to jail. The Moon wants me to stop you, but give Eddie the credit,” Victor laughed at that one, “ And I have no idea what you want from this.”

“What do I want?” Victor look taken back, then sheepish, “Not really sure myself.” He admitted. “You got to understand that the League of Heroes was always there to stop my plans. So I got use to losing that I stopped making plans having a goal insight. Just make some noise, get some publicity and run away again until I needed more renewed attention to sell more copies of my latest book.”

“You too?” Joe laughed hard enough that he had to wipe away a tear. “I thought I was the only one. Damn I miss the League.” Joe and Victor both began nodding and both had to shake their heads to make themselves stop. “They up and retire and we get stuck with The Moon to stop us.”

“Yeah, what's up with that? My last caper I had to surrender basically to myself.” Victor told Joe and now shook his head in disgust, but he caught sight of the cops doing what he hoped was a scene from Swan Lake.

“The Moon sucks as a hero. He tried several times to get into the League, but they kept turning him down.” Joe told him as he watched the cops too. He pointed out one that was faking being hit to edge closer to the building and Victor hit him with his first shot. “Only after they retired, there wasn't a decent hero to be found and villains without heroes are doomed.”

“Thought we were doomed when there were heroes.” Victor pointed out.

“Nothing sucks like success as a villain. We need to get caught to make it worth all the hassle of planning, the daring robberies and not to mention all the time creating those elaborate traps we set. Only ones that don't get caught and can be considered a success are the straight up thieves. Even then, they only get press when they steal something big. Too much work if you ask me.” Joe eased himself down onto the ledge and dangled his feet over it. “Nah, I like to make a big splash and then play some hide and seek until I can rest again back in my cell.”

“How long you been out this time?” Victor asked and shot another cop as he tried to slowly crawl his way towards the door. The cop he just hit ceased crawling and began doing the worm instead and several of the others suddenly flopped down to join him. They both smiled at the sight of twenty policemen doing the worm while a circle of drooling bystanders clapped out a bad rhythm.

“About two hours.” Joe said and realized he had forgotten his watch again. It was sitting next to his wallet on the table where he changed into his villain's gear, “I think.” He added

“And you didn't go and get a drink first?” Victor was amazed.

“Shit!” Joe looked startled, “Totally forgot I could do that!”

“Well that's easily taken care of.” Victor said and threw the ray over the edge and helped Joe up. “First round is on me.”

  “So will the second. I left my wallet with The Moon.” Joe smiled as they walked towards the door to get off the roof. Maybe freedom wasn't so bad after all.

 

The End

Bad Luck Brown

Not all superpowers are obvious

 

 

Chapter 1

 

Kevin Brown only wanted to buy some wine to go with his dinner, but fate had other plans for him. Life had just been kicking him in the nuts so much lately that he felt he needed to treat himself to a better bottle of wine tonight. Between losing out on the promotion he worked so hard for that he didn't even really want, but his girlfriend pushed him to go for, to his girlfriend leaving him because he was at work too much trying to get a promotion. He decided that for once he was going to do something just for himself, even if it was for one night only.

He was in the far aisle of his favorite beer and wine store reading the label of a mid priced white wine when he heard the shouting coming from the front of the store. He ignored it for a moment as some of the other customers took their wine way too seriously, but the shouts had an aggressive edge to them that made him look towards the front of the store....

“Shit!” He said to himself. The place was being robbed! Kevin started panicking, looking this way and that. He was afraid of what to do next and finally just got down on all fours. Once there he felt slightly silly just waiting and he surprised himself by crawling slowly towards the shouting. It surprised him too that he was having issues crawling due to still grasping the wine. But he continued towards the front as that was the only way out that he knew of. He paused when the robber shouted again. He sounded so close!

“The money now!” He heard the robber threatening the old man that ran the store. From what Kevin knew of the old man, this was not the best way to talk to him. His temper was explosive on a good day.

Maybe there was only one of them he thought as he got up into a crouch. Slow step by slower step, Kevin worked his way to the end of the aisle to see what was going on, still holding the bottle of wine he had meant to put back on the shelf. He briefly wondered if he could help. That thought ended when he felt a hand grab his collar.

“What do we have here?” A second robber asked as he pulled Kevin to his feet roughly.

“Another witness huh?” The first robber sneered and waved his gun towards Kevin's face.

But as he gaze shifted from the store owner to Kevin, the owner reached for his own weapon.

“Watch out!” Screamed the robber holding him, but it was too late! The owner shot the first robber in the back!

Kevin shrieked and dropped his bottle of wine which shattered all over the floor. Then the second robber tried to push him out of the way so he could blast the owner, but he slipped on the wet floor and fell backwards with a crash!

The owner came around the corner with his gun ready, wanting to blast the second robber. “Dirty little punks!” He yelled as he fired his gun, it missed wide, but scared the second robber into covering his head instead of shooting back. Only now the first robber had recovered enough to shoot the owner from his position on the floor. The bullet stuck the owner and spun him around. The first robber then lay back again as he began to cough up blood.

Kevin was trying to scramble to his feet to make a run for it, but he slipped on the wet floor again and went forward this time with his feet kicking back over his head. To catch the second robber right in the face breaking his nose just as the wounded form of the owner fell on top of Kevin. He pushed the owner off with a grunt and tried again to get to his feet, but this time he stepped on the second robber's gun and fell again!

He tried to save himself by grabbing the shelves, but succeeded only in pulling it down on top of the second robber now regaining his wits. The bottles broke with a resounding shattering of glass before the metal racks crushed the second robber in a pool of blood and wine.

Kevin made another attempt and he finally it to his feet, but as he stumbled forward, but caught his foot on the now dead store owner's leg and off balance managed to step on the throat of the first robber before his other leg got caught on the robber's side and Kevin flailed his arms in the air before falling onto the counter.

He tried to keep himself from falling to the floor again by grabbing the back of the counter. To hit the silent alarm before sliding ever so slowly most of the way to his knees. Kevin was hanging there out of breath when the first squad car came racing up. The police had only been one street over when the alarm sounded.

He watched with relief as the cops raced to the door of the store, That ended quickly when they pointed their guns at him, “Hands up!” The cop screamed. Kevin managed to smile weakly before releasing his grip on the counter and falling the rest of the way to the floor.

Later at the station, the police reluctantly released him after they reviewed the security video. It showed him not to be part of the gang. But the worst was yet to come. The robbers were low ranking members of the Bishop crime family. The cops were all too happy to explain to Kevin about how the Bishop family liked to deal with witnesses.

Kevin stepped outside the station and shivered despite the warm air. Across the street were two shady looking men that were staring right at him. It hadn't more than two hours since the robbery. How could they have known who he was already? But maybe they didn't know it was him. He might just be being paranoid.

He nervously looked both ways and debated hailing for one of the cabs lined up along the street, but he could only imagine the real cabbie dead in an alley while the new driver would 'take him for a ride'. Oh jeez, one of the thugs across the street was talking on a cell phone while looking right him. He wondered if one of the cops had sold him out.

Kevin quickly made up his mind and hurried down the steps at a very fast pace. He going to get to his apartment as soon as he could and grab his stuff so he could disappear. A glance behind him confirmed his fears. Sure enough the two thugs were following him, matching his pace. Oh this was not going to be good!

What to do? He thought as his heart pounded so loudly that he swore he could hear it echo off the buildings as he passed. Just up ahead, he saw his chance! Kevin quickly ducked into the old abandoned building. He hoped that might just lose the two men following him if he could find a place to hide.

But to his horror, the building was almost completely empty. It may have been some sort of old factory, but long since stripped of anything useful. His only chance now was the narrow stairway leading to the office that overlooked the floor. He knew not to try and hide in the office as they would surely check there. But there was another ladder that lead to the rafters! He raced up the rickety stairs and hurried to the ladder. He climbed up and paused briefly before trying to crawl along a beam towards a small outcropping near a skylight. Get to the roof he thought.

Below, he could see the men had followed him into the building and were now looking for him, but they hadn't looked up yet. He needed to go another couple of feet, but didn't want to draw attention, so he ever so slowly pulled himself towards the skylight. He was only an arm's reach away now, but his weight was too much for the old railing and with a loud crack it gave away!

The two thugs looked up just in time to be crushed by the large light that the beam had been supporting. Kevin survived by just barely grasping onto the old power cord still attached to the light and somehow ever so slowly sliding down safety to the floor. “What the fuck?” He asked himself. He couldn't believe his luck!

What he failed to see in the darkness is that he stepped into the blood of the two dead guys that was spreading out across the dusty floor. Kevin took one more look at the bodies and then raced for the exit. He got outside and still breathing hard and scared to death he headed once again for his apartment. He wanted to throw up, but without the thugs following him, he might just have a chance to blend in.

He walked quickly, but after a short time, the adrenaline began to fade and he felt so tired. All he could think about was getting home and crawling into bed. He barely had the energy to climb the stairs to his apartment, but he made it and with a sigh of relief, put the key in the door.

To have the door flung open and a large, meaty hand reached out and grabbed him by the collar and with an amazing amount of strength shoved him into the middle of his apartment! The door was slammed shut and he could here the locks being thrown. He stood there in a daze when the lights came on. Sitting in his recliner was a small, but evil looking man with a gun.

“So, where are the rest of my men Mister Brown?” The man growled. Kevin was too scared to answer, but the meaty hand grabbed him again and with a sudden motion, yanked him clear off the floor an tossed him into his sofa.

“I..,I..,I..” Kevin stuttered.

“Got blood on his shoes boss.” The huge thug told the man with the gun in a very deep voice.

“Check it out.” The man ordered, never taking his eyes off of Kevin even as he kept the pistol in his lap.

The thug shrugged and grabbed Kevin Brown's leg, lifted it up and looked closer at his shoe.

“I meant follow the blood trail!” The man with the gun snapped at the thug and shook his head in disgust.

“Oh. Sorry boss.” The thug said and released Kevin leg. Before he headed out the door he turned to Kevin and told him, “Your other shoelace is untied.”

“See what I have to work with.” The man with the gun said to Kevin after the thug closed the door behind him.

“Uh...sorry?” Kevin replied quietly.

“Save it.” The man ordered and motioned with the gun for Kevin Brown to sit up straight.

“Who are you?” Kevin asked, afraid of the answer.

“Mister Alexander.” Mister Alexander told him, “As you might have already guessed, I work for Bishop. Cleaning up messes as it were.”

“You're a janitor?” Kevin asked very confused.

Mister Alexander ran his head through his hair. “No, not a janitor!” He exclaimed.

“A maid?” Kevin said it, but wish he hadn't.

“You some sort of funny guy Brown?” Mister Alexander snarled as he began to get out of the recliner, but he didn't know the chair was broken and would open fully with a snap unless you got out of it just right. The leg rest shot up and tripped him. He tried to steady himself, but he was unable to prevent his fall and fell face first into the coffee table with a crash!

Kevin tried to jump up to help him, but his untied shoelace tripped him too and he fell right on top of Mister Alexander just as he was righting himself. Kevin tried to stop his fall by extending out his hands, but managed to shove Mister Alexander's face down into and then through the glass table top. Mister Alexander's body went limp beneath him.

“Oh shit!” Kevin Brown said and struggled to get to his feet, but his first step back was onto his untied shoelace again. This time he managed to keep his balance, but only by stepping on Mister Alexander's back. He heard an ooomph, but didn't wait around to see if the man was alright.

He raced into the bedroom and started throwing clothes into his laundry bag and grabbed his emergency cash stash. It was only a few hundred dollars, but it should be enough to get him out of the city!

Next he raced to the front door only to be tripped by his lace again just as the door opened from the thug returning. His body slammed into the door which then slammed the thug in the face before closing again. Kevin jumped up and paused.

He knelt down and tied his lace before slowing opening the door and peeking out. The thug wasn't there. Nor was the guardrail that overlooked the stairway. He stood up again and stepped out. Cautiously, he peeked over the edge. At the bottom, three flights down, was the thug impaled by the broken railing. He cringed, but the rest of his neighbors were all coming out of their apartments too to see what the commotion was all about.

Kevin took his time getting down the stairs to bottom. He winced as he looked at the body again with a piece of the railing jutting straight up through the thugs chest. Another neighbor was feeling for a pulse looked up at him and shook his head no. Kevin began to panic again, announced that he was going for help as he raced out into the night.

He was wondering where to go next, but he was too scared to try mass transit and he was exhausted. Find a place to hole up and fast he thought. Some place they would never think of looking for you!

As he tried to walk fast without seeming like he was walking fast. His route was taking him into the seedy side of the city. There Kevin smiled. Just ahead was one of those sleazy motels that specialize in rooms by the hour. A seedy place that money could get you anything. Who would think to look for him here?

He walked up to the counter, trying to look serious. He hoped he wasn't sweating too much as he put his hands on the dirty counter and watched the dirty looking woman behind the counter make a show of having to get off her oversized ass. She trudged over and blew stale cigarette smoke in his face. He couldn't help, but let out a little cough before he spoke.

“I need a room until morning.” Kevin Brown told her, trying to sound tough.

“You want a room till morning?” She asked.

Kevin Brown looked behind himself, then back to the woman. Did he miss something?

“Uh, yeah.” He responded.

“You want anything else?” She asked with a toothless smile and winked as ash from her cigarette joined the filth on the counter.

“No. Just a room.” He said hoping to get this over with as fast as possible.

“You ain't going to be doing any cooking in there are you?” She asked, but had to hold up her hand as she went into a coughing fit. Kevin waited politely until she recovered.

“No. I'll wait to get breakfast somewhere else.” he said and wondered why she was laughing so hard between more coughing. But he got his key and headed for his room. Once inside he threw the deadbolt and quickly moved the chest of drawers up against the door. Finally he took a deep breath to relax. Not that it worked. Turned out he needed to take several more deep breaths, but he was still shaking. Kevin took in the room as he stood there breathing harder than he thought he should be and wish he hadn't. The bed didn't have any sheets on it and the mattress was old and stained to put it mildly.

He thought about calling down to the office and asking about sheets, but he saw the sign above the bed with a price list for things like sheets. Sheets were ten dollars each and clean sheets were crossed off in red. He cringed and made up his mind to sleep in the chair in the corner. It was an old chair and it smelled funny, but at least it wasn't that bed!

He settled in and wondered if he would ever be able to fall asleep after the night he had just had. Less than a minute later he was sound asleep.

 

 

Kevin awoke to being poked with something. He tried to brush it aside with his hand, but it poked him harder several times. Kevin opened his eyes, but had to blink several times to clear his vision. To see Mister Alexander standing over him holding a cattle prod. His face had several bandages on it and his nose was in a splint.

“Wakey wakey.” Mister Alexander said quietly.

Kevin looked to the door, but the chest of drawers was still up against it!

“How?” He asked in disbelief.

“You know there's a back door right Mister Brown? Its the local fire code.” Mister Alexander explained. Kevin looked over the back of the chair and sure enough there was another door.

Kevin had to fight to get out of the lumpy chair and once free of it, had to stretch. Several joints popped audibly and he peaked around the corner to the backdoor again. Sure enough the door there was wide open and two very large men were glaring back at him.

“Does it matter that I didn't mean of this?” Kevin asked and Mister Alexander shook his head no.

Mister Alexander used the cattle prod to wave Kevin Brown out the door. Kevin wondered about why Alexander hadn't used the prod to wake him, “Batteries are dead.” Mister Alexander explained as he gave Kevin a push towards the men waiting. Below in the parking lot was a large black limousine waiting. The four of them went down the stairs with the two large men in front to make sure Kevin wouldn't try and make a run for it.

At the limo, Mister Alexander got in back first and then the two very large men helped Kevin in with a little more violence than was required. Once in the back, Kevin grabbed his seatbelt and buckled up as Mister Alexander let out a chuckle.

“That's the least of your worries.” Mister Alexander said then ordered the driver to go.

“You really should buckle up too.” Kevin offered, but he could hear the men up front laughing at him.

“Your concern is touching, but Vinny here has never had an accide...” Mister Alexander never got to finish the sentence as a large safe that was being stolen out of an office on the fifth floor of the building they were passing by was dropped by Viper and Dragus as slipped its ropes and came crashing down onto the hood of the limousine.

The limousine was stopped dead in its tracks and the men up front were launched out straight through windshield to their deaths against the safe. Mister Alexander was luckier and only bounced off the rear facing seats of the limo and back again like a rag doll. Kevin was unhurt except for a good size bruise from the seat belt.

Stunned, it took several minutes to remember to flee and he undid the belt and opened the door to see Joe and Victor arguing in front of the ruined limousine.

“I told you to use a granny knot!” Joe shouted as he pulled the chains off the tow truck they stole to haul the safe away.

“Granny knots are too weak!” Victor protested as he worked the controls on the truck.

“Then how do you explain this?” Joe shot back as he tested the chains. Kevin was still dazed, but was coherent enough to leave the scene as quickly as he could. He staggered away and headed for the subway. He made his way down the stairs, but at the bottom he was thrown down to the ground by a pair of cops.

“I didn't do anything!” Kevin protested, but they never spoke to him as they cuffed him and then pulled him roughly to his feet to drag him back up the stairs. Parked in front was a police car in a no parking area. They shoved him into the back of the squad car and then jumped in the front and raced off. Away from the nearest police station Kevin noticed.

“I'm fucked right?” He asked the cops and they both laughed.

“Yeah, but Bishop wants to speak to you first.” The one driving finally broke their silence, but Kevin realized he preferred them not talking, not that it stopped them now. They were all too happy to explain what was going to happen next.

Kevin resigned himself to his fate. He had heard Bishop owned the police, but he didn't need proof like this.

They drove him to a desolate part of docks and forced marched him into a vacant warehouse. In the middle of the floor was a large metal tub and several bags of cement, a hose and an electric cement mixer. Next to that was a chair with a small table with a speaker phone on it.

Kevin noticed the extension cord that they had run to the mixer had a frayed covering and it was lying right in the middle of a puddle of water the leaking hose was slowly making larger.

“Hey you guys, you should move that cord.” He said helpfully.

Instead he got punched in the gut for his efforts and then shoved into the chair.

“Get mixing.” The taller cop told the driver.

“With pleasure.” The driver sneered and turned the motor on.

Kevin sighed as he lifted his feet and watched the two cops being electrified before his eyes. He had tried to warn them. Soon enough the power died and the two stopped twitching. The smell was not pleasant.

Kevin was sitting in the darkness now wondering how this all came about. It was only one night ago that he just wanted a glass of wine with his meal.

“You boys ready?” A voice called out from the speaker phone, “Boys?”

“They're dead.” Kevin told the speaker phone. He could tell the pause was meaningful.

“What the hell do have against me anyway?” The speaker phone demanded.

“What?” Kevin Brown was very confused. He looked around even though it was too dark to see anything.

“You some sort of new hero?” the voice yelled at him, “Well John Bishop has taken care of tougher heroes than you!”

“What?” Kevin was still at a loss.

“Two million!” The voice called out.

“Two million?” Kevin asked again, unsure what had just happened to this conversation.

“Fine! Five million Mister Brown. But you leave town tonight and you never bother me again!” The voice yelled at him.

“Ah, ok?” Kevin Brown said to the speaker phone while sitting cuffed to a chair in the dark.

“I'll have my man bring it over, just don't get any ideas about double crossing me boy!” And Kevin heard the phone click.

Sitting in the blackness of an abandoned warehouse with two dead cops, handcuffed to a chair bolted to the floor, Kevin wondered if life was done fucking with him yet or was he going to die in this chair while five million dollars waited for him back at his place.

“HA!” A voice called out of the darkness and a flare lit the area!

Out of the now blinding light came a figure.

“The Moon?” Kevin Brown wondered out loud as he tried to blink away the blindness caused by the flare.

“I have come to save you!” The Moon proclaimed standing in front of him in an heroic pose.

“That's nice. How about just getting me out of these cuffs?” Kevin asked nicely, “Got places to be you know.”

“Who off'd the cops?” The Moon asked as he searched for the bodies for their keys.

“They did.” Kevin told him, “I tried to warn them about the cord, but no! Why listen to guy you are going to kill?” He asked sarcastically.

“Um, soooo.” The Moon was the one at a loss now as the flare began to sputter out.

“Hey thanks and all, but I really got to run.” Kevin patted The Moon on the back and hurried out the door. Outside he looked at the squad car just sitting there.

“Why not?” He said with a smile and drove it back to his apartment building.

Inside he was glad the body was no longer there, but he had to duck the police tape. He climbed his stairs to his floor and paused briefly before opened his front door, but didn't step though.

“Please don't hurt me.” Mister Alexander begged. He had one arm in a sling and was holding himself up with a crutch under the other arm. He also had a large suitcase with him.

Kevin smiled an evil smile and walked in to the room with purposeful stride. He got right in Mister Alexander's face, before he reached down and grabbed the suitcase. He backed away slowly and laid the case on the sofa. Inside it he found the five million he was promised. He thumbed through a package of hundreds before turning his gaze back to Mister Alexander standing there nervously.

“Now get out.” He snarled.

“Yes sir!” Mister Alexander replied sheepishly.

Mister Alexander made sure to close the door quietly, no easy task considering his injuries, but he managed.

“Fuck!” Kevin Brown exclaimed as he stood there with a handful of money, “I still need a bottle of wine.”

 

The End.

 

 

 

 


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