Are you still breathing

Reads: 80  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


About the only boy I ever loved that never loved me back.

Submitted: May 31, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 31, 2018

A A A

A A A


I am standing here, in front of a mirror in my sisters bathroom. In an apartment where, I could barley afford the rent. My knees aching, from walking up and down from room to room, catering to the souls of the sick and dying while my own soul rots inside of me. Disgusted, with each breathe that I take.
I am now alone. Beautiful. It was not beautiful, to be pulled by my hair through the hallway by the man that I loved and trusted. Someone I literally worshipped, just to find out anew every single day that I was not good enough, my attempts at making him love me would never been seen, because I was a lie.
It was not beautiful when he slapped me awake so many times my body would no longer allow my eyes to close for sleep and from the moment they did I was jolted awake by my soul telling me to run. My body shaking and my heart whispering. I stayed.
It was not beautiful. My brain is so mottled now that even owning a plant brings me to tears. Paralyzes me with responsibility. I had an image of myself at some point in my life. I don’t know where it went. Now all I am is weak boned and covered in scars that won’t heal.
I’m happy to be gone, because I don’t wake up at night, scared anymore. I am happy to be gone, because now there are days I look in the mirror and love myself just a little, I’m happy to be gone because now the only time I get hit, is when I’m slapping myself. But I miss the heat of his body, the smell of his hair, the way that he would hold me. I miss his country, his mother, our bed on the floor. But my body, couldn’t do it anymore.


© Copyright 2018 Starsshinefornothing. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: