Ode To The Orgasm

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Ode To The Orgasm

Submitted: June 04, 2018

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Submitted: June 04, 2018

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I.

 

It starts with rubbing.  Tentatively at first.  Gently.  As if doing it for the first time.  Skin brushing lightly over skin.  Slowly.  

Then something inside starts to become hot.  It becomes frantic.  It becomes wet.  Something quiets down inside and there’s blank dark spaces bouncing around with each throe with each thrust with each lull.  

 

Then a scream bursts inside and it's eternal with no beginning. with no end.

 

And the body is full of electric blue convulsions

 

bucking from where the waist meets the torso

 

and pieces of the brain begin to die

 

begin to become little deaths

 

and then...

 

blossom.

 

Waves of warmth blooming all around

 

and the universe shudders 

 

and there’s flashing colours

 

flash. red. flash. black.

flash. red. flash. black.

 

and everything shakes

 

forever

 

until it breaks.

 

Shatters.

 

with only remnants of ecstasy left behind

 

and in a curtain of oil-slick shimmers the world settles back into view

 

just like coming out of a dream

 

and everything is hot.

sticky.

wet.

 

II.

 

Ode to the bloodrush shooting up to thine ears how they flutter in such tiny spaces to hide their lustful longing amongst their thought so concealed taboo and every dire and hatred and little stabs at the timeline of everything that it means to be to be to be here

 

and the song of the cosmos came thriving for how long?

 yes how long....

upon

that wavering blue line that was oh tiny squeezed lustful noises

to full on chest heaving no breath left

 

and then 

 

like the god’s pause their every motion for just the briefest of no time

you

are swirled into a thread entwined upon our most ancient and longed for entropy that was the great idea of the warped vision that was

sweet dreamings and touchings oh your touch! those little grazes! the light and pure essence gleaming from thou who was nestled in the side of my mind that was the embodiment of all that was positive glowing light experiences I had had mostly with females but we have almost divine interactions all amongst our brothers and sisters and mothers that were yes that were every aspect of my perceiving the tingling unanimous harmony that is life and why do we who feel just as much as the

 

individual human the

I am he that stays him

and this i have been and know it to be so

this i have been and shall shut my eyes 

and cease moving of my own accord in

and become as the flesh of planet earth

the cells of its epidermis

that die

that recycle

 

and become also 

put into with

everything to the greatest limits of your wildest thoughts trapizing throughout the lost islands of beyond comprehensible thought

 

to come yes where

why are we driven to sing

by our need to manipulate every little dot of existence around

to dance in the pleasure of each sound that we feel through all our sensations

that become concentrated with the in and out tidal inhale exhale of those shining

moonlight eyes like twin sparks that penetrate in our most sacred and yet blissfully profane dance that comes with joinment

 

and how we sing. and how we sing.

 

all of us in time together 

the rhythm of the very tiny

very ordinary

the very wondrous and mundane and 

no

we shall no longer

no

can no longer fathom

for we pull each other

 

and all i see is you

they whisper

quiet by the morning calms gray dawnlight

just peeking over static horizons

pillow soft

the sound echoes

from somewhere behind their eyes

one of them kisses the other

 

and there it is

both of them reel from one another

penetration and wriggling 

almost like worms

almost like fighting

almost barbaric 

tearing into each other

leaking our liquids all over every inch

moving in the throes of what is that old word

like we’re producing it

just pumping it out

a whole fucking factory

they pray to spill

 

here their hearts in between the shuddering moans of climactic strain sing with the very core the essence the center

 

the diamond

or is soul a better word

it is the person as they are

laid bare

naked

utterly true

 

they sing it so passionately and with such yearning it is a ink-black blasphemy

an injustice

that they are unable to scream it happily in the streets

while everyone out

can gaze steadily at their peers

and no hand was raised

of course everyone would speak

and sometimes laugh and dance

sometimes make music 

the focused kind on fancy wooden instruments

for it is summer and their happiness soaks the ages and eons from the time of

electric guitar music

orchestral tunes

the first sound of the cosmos

spilling into a peaking sun-yellow shining longing

misting down as that long forgotton

but still longed for

childhood daze

but we try to peer through the lens

its dirtied up and hard to see

so the best thing

is here

in these streets of our heart’s desire

outlined now in this ode

for the lands floating upon this blue pearl’s surface

 

such a shame

especially while the two are screaming

its like

its like

a damn plastic wall

separating the one thing you can only feel

dare we say it

dreaming

but

you know

more so

when

we re

close 

to

well

,,,

death

but that is the overall frustration and sometimes overwhelming disappointment in life at times is it not?  events surrounding one are in beyond worse than imagined circumstances and in these naive first felt hard emotions a young person as i write i shall admit i am not twenty three yet only a few years ago death seemed a plausible solution

 

things have changed greatly in a few years

 

we write this to fully illustrate our overall hopes and longings

no matter our negative and tragive witnessings in this life 

or blatant disregard like stone eyes

ignoring death and rot and rape

and being inhuman

as in we call each other sub or non human

yet 

here we cling

to a fragile sphere whirling through space

with a galaxing full of star systems

too many to imagine

number of planets?

it would take forever to figure out

all this is circling around a supermassive black hole

 

all this being attracted to the Great Attractor

which is unknown at this time period

 

dragging every observable galaxz\y at speeds that are

really

unimaginable

only understood through written symbols

and all this is made of particles as are we

that become waves and interact in

well

just look around

 

and every pieace

by god its insane

its insane and gorgeous

every

little 

piece

every 

fucking

sound

thought

vibration

feeling

intangible

and too many possibilities

 

we cannot understand in the box of what will forever be

ourselves

 

but here

 

finally

 

i shall write it

 

for i have prolonged it

 

for the heart still keeps in clandestine misery

 

stop

 

listen

 

lean closer

 

look

 

do you hear it?

 

what it longs to spread?

 

of course

 

love.

 

a passed on stream

that we see

 

as a blossom with the creation of us

 

i speak in third person for it is easier for me to think

 

in these terms when writing of matters larger than myself

 

that i am so intrinsicly entwined in

 

oh how curious we can be

 

oh how we can go about lives

 

is it a trick that we lose our spark for the chaotic puzzle

 

the jigsaw

 

where each of us somehow connects

 

but even deeper

 

hidden pipes

 

clear

 

full of thoughts and songs

 

moving in swirls and spirals and songs and feelings and touch

 

and finally after all this motion and tumultuous building

the welling of thoughts from a thought to be hidden 

 

unknown dimension connected by those dancing intangible filaments

 

or where they colourful geometric towers peaking as moutains to the very tip of heaving sensation into everyting i miss 

that is the embodiment of all

of ALL desire

for there to be only

how did that one really beautiful one say it

 

ah yes

the girl named for an herb that is perfect in any song

how innocent she was

how she said the words of everything that we crave

 

no matter what a momentary burst of annoyance can cause

 

in an immature soul that still struggles to move forward and become

 

the compress of all its potentials

 

the greatest

 

most delicate and strong

 

and humorous but magnificently realized in its confidence the is as no fear

 

but that anger felt in its extremes are

 

you fucker

 

i hope everything is shit for you

 

for the one thing you caused me

 

oh how we loathe it!

 

for she put it best

 

I wish everything was sunshine and rainbows.

 

she may have said more

maybe of there not being any bad things

 

which would be fitting

would be nice

 

and that anger we tell ourselves

is not us

 

or perhaps just a part

 

we can grow to not loathe

not quite embrace but one would be hesitant to say it is

but we can accept

 

and feel it yes

 

but learn it

 

and react the way we consciously choose

and find proper diverts 

 

to well you know

 

get rid of the bad vibes

 

all that hate

 

aint at all great

 

a long journey or was it short?

 

well there we are now.

 

two beings made of...

what?

 

science claims perhaps dust from an everlasting superparticle

 

but who knows

 

there are mysteries alll around

 

but it is good is it not

 

that at least here

 

in this time we pour our inner mutterings

 

our typing which is as chattering crabs on a black chesspiece

 

like ink splattered scribblings i used to make on

 

something reflected in a neon beam reminiscent screen

 

and that is the beauty of being just me

 

as you read this perhaps it also applies to you

 

and i use the hopes we that

 

we are not islands of sensationalization

our even more worisome

 

a product of a dustmote nothing cosmic fart debris

 

but i am i

 

and i can be joyous

 

pushing and pulling

finding the secret moving of the things all around i call words as we touch

and get some wonderful piercing and muffled feelings

from every picture behind my eyes and buried as molten nervous 

 

want for not i but yes in the sense of just me

 

just you

 

whoever reads this

however

 

i write this as bleach bone bare in the pillowy sand dunes of a twilight desert

 

to feel

 

with each other

 

pour everything we have 

 

to know each other

 

and

 

reach an intimacy like the fruit of Eve’s forbidden tree

 

only a few here and there as if there were not enough made for each lifetime

 

and each person is left wondering

 

was there more?

 

but who knows

 

everyone is different 

 

and that is probably the way it is supposed to be

 

its more fun that way right?

 

when its hard to breathing

 

and this stranger is somehow an extension as much you one to them

 

as one you move

 

and our beings clench together

 

we leave a little piece of that in us

 

that can forget everything

 

and be a pure

 

moment

somehow still and

 

lets be honest

never forgotton

 

no matter what else happens

 

the connections were made

 

and i have seen into the spaces

the tiny ones

and of course your darkly bright gleaming eyes

 

as you have into mine

 

and thus we are a synapse of sensation

knowing and leaving a trace of this act

 

and from our eyes

 

it makes us just who we are

 

you and i

 

in the moment

at last ?

for the first time?

always there just unnoticed?

 

and we were a verse together

the whole songs been recording for too long for anyone to remember

 

and no ones stopped it

so we havent listened to much of it except with other devices

 

so its nice though

and it soothes every inch of us

 

and i can say this safely

yes?

 

is it longing that pushes the key.

you are there

maybe not a one

maybe no anyone

perhaps

it is first inner

the perhaps both?

 

and it is finding your function is it not?

 

to get lost in the treachorous and beatiful archives of an existence so cruel as not to show you but in equally clueless humanoids to point you in the right direction

 

which is why i conclude

as this is a personal entry

 

i have been struggling for almost as long as i can remember

 

and now i am torn

 

i wish to be productive and well

 

the thing is

 

it has a lot of influence from the first stages of my development

 

but i am the creator and

 

even solo

 

there is passion and joy

 

and never really far a partner

 

to do 

 

incredibly exciting

little fake fights that were entirely sexual

 

there are these things and the limits of being human are as an advantage

 

of being able to explore a world 

an opportunity to feel and have adventures

 

so the ode of spurts of thought searching from a frantic chest pumping blood with short meth breath god i have work too soon

 

cant sleep

want to

 

it is our ode

 

we must live everyday as each day

to be felt in its own way

for experience dragged from hindsight to teach us

how to have a better tomorrow

 

and as the sun and moon rise and fall

our movements become smoother

 

i worry

 

will it be less intense?

 

i have heard there are ways to make it more

 

if so it is a good life

 

let a winter’s crystal clear single note tweaking a sleepy white melody 

come in its frosty attitude of

 

nothing is out of reach

 

and we become frigid

 

we become only drying hope

 

it is strange 

 

i find

 

these days i more or less fluctuate

 

and the affair with myself is an extremes of negative to oh such a peaceful joyous feeling

 

but with time and fantastic assistance i am much grateful of i feel just

 

like i am able to overcome

 

no not good all the time

 

maybe thats impossible

 

everytones got emotions.

 

but we have sorted it out now.  and life becomes easier to handle iin stride

 

and the passion that comes with music 

 

and simply pleasures

 

i wish there were no pains

 

the pleasures come and are also

 

what is the color that is the great writhing coitus of life with itself

 

as a slender smooth cell eventually growing and changing and splitting to become multitude 

 

like a god touching itself

 

our universe the chronic masturbator

 

living through itself and making

 

unaware meat puppets

feeling itself through you and me

 

but it is utterly human to be unknown of the realities of a spontaneous percepetion

 

you trick of the light

you trick of the light

 

foolish child they murmer

foolish child the murmer

 

it is just

 

there are no rewards

 

and he was saddened but he lived

 

and he found passion

found a love

found a livelihood

and was at peace

 

so heed his actions

 

the scraping nags of an inner complainer

 

the paranoid little bug that crawls in your ear on its way to your brain.  tell it it has to know  its time is done

 

for he trudged on

 

and will always do so

 

even in the mud up to his knees during a storm

 

what else could he do?

 

and it was the warmnth of the

 

difficult to remember...

 

her skin...

 

she was beautiful.,..

 

ppretttyy.....soofttt....

 

but we shall not sink

 

trudge and be close to breaking point

 

but we shall keep climbing any mountain no matter how steep

 

and it was the ultimate they were looking for

 

love just a part

 

the ultimate

 

music just a part

 

the ultimate

 

happiness just a part

 

the ultimate of peace.


© Copyright 2018 Imit Zeha. All rights reserved.

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