Reads: 61  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


Submitted: June 04, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 04, 2018



“This far along, what’s the point?”  Isin says bluntly. His mother bursts into tears.  The doctor standing at the foot of the white-sheeted hospital bed seems at a loss for a moment, but quickly recovers and says, “It is entirely your choice and to be perfectly honest, at this stage, continued treatment will probably do you more harm than good.”  Isin sits up in the bed and crosses his legs.  “I mean, I’ve been fighting my whole life Doc.  I’m tired.”  They leave the hospital quickly after that.  In the car Sandra stares out the window and sees the trees turn into a green blur.  Her father is saying something loudly and gesturing with his hands while he drives.  His movements make the car shake and her mother snaps at him.  He talks less intensely and the car becomes steady.  Sandra is vaguely aware he is saying something about life.  She turns towards her brother and sees that he is smiling at her.  His eyes are bright and his lips slightly parted.  She feels a pressure and realizes he is squeezing her hand.  She lets out a sigh and realizes she has been holding her breath.  They stare at each other the whole ride home.  

Now she sits in class and focuses enough to maintain her performance.  She has already been accepted into a decent university.  Her family had been very proud when she received the acceptance letter.  There is a shuffle of books and the bell rings.  Her classmates are lining up at the door and flowing into the hallway.  She stares at her books for a moment forgetting what to do.  She remembers and packs her things then follows her classmates.  While walking through the crush of bodies in the hall she feels a heaviness on her shoulder and turns.  It’s a boy named Mark.  His face is blushed and the crowd presses him close to her.  It seems everyone in the hall is talking and he yells over the din, “Can I talk to you out there for a second?” and he points toward the courtyard.  They push their way through the throng and out a door into the open air outside.  They stand close to the door facing each other.  He is very tall and she cranes her neck up to look at him.  He is fair haired with light eyes.  He is an athlete and popular with the other students.  There was a time when she had found him attractive.  He seems slightly out of breath and his clothes look too thin for the cool morning and he shivers slightly.  She sees that his eyes dart back and forth and he is shuffling his feet slightly.  Suddenly there are roses blooming from his hand and he’s saying, “Will you go to prom with me?”  Sandra stares at him.  There is a long pause and Mark shuffles his feet and says, “Uh…Sandra? Will you go to prom with me?”  She starts suddenly.  Now she realizes what this boy is asking her.  The end of high school ritual.  The dance.  It’s very important for many of the students.  It’s expected that someone asks her to go.  It’s expected that she goes.  “I’m sorry,” her voice is quiet, “I’m already going with someone.”  Mark takes a breath and seems relieved.  He says with a sheepish grin, “Ah someone beat me to it.  Knew I shouldn’t have waited so long.  Well I hope you have a good time.  See you later.”  He waves goodbye and walks away.  She stands there for a moment then walks away.  

Now she is home.  She stands at Isin’s door.  Music from his room fills the hall.  It seems these days he listens exclusively to Bobby Darin.   She hears the song If I Were A Carpenter.  She knocks.  “Come in,” she hears.  She opens the door.  Isin is lying in bed holding an unlit joint between his fingers.  On a nightstand next to the bed are a lamp and a record player.  The lamp has a purple cloth draped over it and the room glows violet.  He sits up and looks at her.  “Hey,” he says softly.  He puts the joint to his lips, flicks a match and puts it to the joint’s tip, and inhales deeply.  He holds the smoke in, looks up toward the ceiling and exhales slowly.  The smoke comes as a thick plume and hovers above them.  Wordlessly he holds the joint out to her and she walks over and sits on the bed close to him.  She takes the joint between her fingers and takes a slow hit and as she exhales says, “I got asked to prom today.”  Isin smiles at her and says, “I love this part.” He reaches to the record player on the nightstand and turns the volume louder and Bobby Darin sings:

Save my love through loneliness
Save my love through sorrows

They stay silent for a while and Isin is listening intently to the song.  Then he grins at her and asks, “Well?”  She takes another slow drag and exhales. “I said no.”  She holds the joint out to him.  He frowns at her.  “Who asked you?”  He ignores the joint and it smolders thickly as she holds it in the space between them.  “Mark Lettovich.”  She feels her stomach churn and it puzzles her.  Isin says, “I remember him.  He’s a nice guy. I thought you liked him.”  She begins to feel a dreamy buzz from the pot.  A static tingle blankets her sensations and the edge of the moment is dulled.  Her voice comes muffled, “I told him I’m already going with someone.”  The smoke in the room billows thinly around them moving like ultraviolet specters in the purple light.  He grins at her showing his teeth.  He takes the joint from her and cocks it into the corner of his mouth.  He takes a hit and exhales out his nostrils.  “No you’re not,” he smirks.  Sandra is surprised to hear herself respond flatly, “Go with me.”  She sees Isin blink several times and his arm holding the joint falls slowly down to the bed.  The song Dream Lover is playing.  Smoke dances in the deep purple glow like a wispy velvet cloud.

On prom night they arrive late to the dance hall and people are dancing already.  A photographer takes their pictures as they enter the hall.  They go over to and sit at a clothed round table next to the dance floor.  The music is loud and the dance hall is dark punctuated with colourful flashing lights.  Isin is smiling and half-dancing in his thick-cushioned seat.  They drink some faux-alcohol and watch the mass of bodies writhing all around them.  They are both dressed up and Isin looks handsome but very pale and thin.  His suit looks too loose on him.  Sandra’s dress is a deep emerald and has a silky sheen to it.  At one point they dance a little.  Sandra is vaguely aware that some of her classmates occasionally glance towards her brother.  They spend some hours there and then they leave the dance hall.  Outside in the parking lot they enter Sandra’s car.  She turns on the engine with a turn of the key and drives the car out of the parking lot and onto the main road.  As she drives Isin smiles at her while the yellow street lights flash on his face.  They ride along the main road for a while until Sandra turns the car onto a small dirt road leading into the woods. She drives along the dirt road for a while until its end.  She stops the car and shuts off the engine. The trees are black towers all around.  They open the doors and step out of the car. 

 The night is muggy.  A breeze washes over them and is a slight relief from the heat.  They walk into the black between the trees and stroll through utter darkness for a while until they come to a large secluded meadow bathed in soft moonlight.  There is a gleaming black pond in the meadow sprinkled with stars like a patch of night sky.  This is their secret spot they found as children.  Isin sits at the water’s edge and takes off his shoes and socks.  His feet disappear into the cool black water.  He looks up at Sandra who is standing next to him and he smiles.  She smiles down at him and, still looking at him, jumps into the water fully clothed. She surfaces and her hair is sleeked down and gleaming with twilight.  She laughs and swims in a wide circle.  Isin smiles and watches her.  When she comes back to the shore he takes her hand and helps pull her up over the edge.  She is surprised by how strong he feels.  As she’s clambering up she stumbles and he falls backward with a soft thump and she is on top of him.  She’s alarmed and asks if he’s ok but he is just laughing and suddenly she’s laughing too.  Each hand is planted on either side of his head as she looks down at him.  Her hair creates a tunnel vision with his face at its end.  He’s smiling at her and as she stares into his eyes shining with starlight she feels a shuddering wind quake inside her.  She leans down slowly and she kisses him.  Their lips stay interlocked for a long while and her heart threatens to break free of her chest.  Their movements become frantic and then they are touching each other in places they never have before and moving their bodies against each other in ways they never have before.  Her breathing becomes wild and moans shudder throughout her. With a gasp she feels his slippery warmth enter her and everything explodes into vibrant colours.  A line of iridescent blue follows a musical tune and the universe sings with each wave of their electric motion. The reefs around their islands break and they are one shimmering sea screaming with the stormy rage of unfettered feeling.  Tides recede back across a shattered incandescent horizon becoming steady winds blowing over arid prairies and then they are lying side by side holding hands staring up into the sky. They are flushed and sweating.  They glow hotly under the cool moon.  It is Sandra’s first time.

In the days that follow they have continuous sex.  Isin’s condition worsens and he becomes more skinny and pale.  In the beginning the sex has a similar passion to the first time but with each time the passion fades a little more and Sandra begins to feel it to be an obligation.  While they pump away at each other she begins to have visions of hospices and nursing homes.  Isin stops smoking pot and spends most his time reading or listening to Bobby Darin.  They stop having full intercourse and she mainly gives him handjobs and blowjobs.  They talk less and even their parents notice that their son has become even more withdrawn. Sandra sees her parents enter his room often and knows they are trying to coax him out to do things with them.  She knows his response is always, “I’m fine in here.”

The hall is dark and still.  Sandra opens Isin’s door and enters his room wordlessly.  He is sitting on the edge of his bed staring down at the floor.  The room is always the same.  Glowing with  violet lamplight. The song Beyond the Sea plays on the speakers.  He doesn’t react to her presence. She walks over and kneels on the floor in front of him and begins fumbling with his belt.  “Stop,” he says and puts his hand on her shoulder, “no more.”  She feels a twinge in her chest.

They lay side by side on the bed in a wrapping embrace.  His breath is on her neck and he is shivering.  Her neck becomes wet as he is wracked with deep shuddering silent sobs.  She strokes his hair slowly.  “I love you,” she whispers once. She feels him grip her tighter and they are both holding onto each other.

They stay like this for the longest moment.  

They stay like this for the shortest moment.

He is shaking uncontrollably.  

Her heart is a hammer.

His breathing is labored and ragged.

She is hyperventilating.  

They clutch each other tightly.

His breath stops. 

She stops breathing.

He stiffens.

She freezes.

Everything is still.

There is only silence as tears stream from her widened eyes.

She gently lays his head on the pillow.

She floats from the bed.

She is far from herself.

She’s in the car driving. 

She’s in the trees stumbling.  

She is silent and her face is wet.

She comes to the pond.

The moon is a perfect white circle on the inky black surface.  

She strips her clothes and stands at the pond’s edge.

She jumps into the center of the moon with a quiet splash.

She descends into deep utter dark.

She does not feel her lungs as they begin to roar in agony.

She sinks further and further down.


Something grabs her ankles and pulls her down with a rough jerk.

It is a strong grip.

In panic she kicks wildly.

The grip struggles to hold her.

A chaos of bubbles surrounds her and she is silent screaming.

One kick lands on something hard and scaly.

The grip loosens and she kicks again.

She breaks free.

She kicks towards the surface.

She is losing strength.

She kicks and kicks.

Everything is fading.


She breaks through the surface and gasps.

Air fills her lungs and she thrashes wildly to the pond’s edge. 

She pulls herself out of the water and collapses onto her back.

She lays there gasping for a long while.

With each breath her blank panic recedes.

She sees the forest’s canopy.

Black shapes enfold bruisy violet islands filled with stars.

The Milky Way is splattered creamy across the heavens.

The moon shines bright and full. 

The skies are endless.

Crickets chirp all around.

© Copyright 2018 Imit Zeha. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: