The struggles of a New-Brunswicker

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


This is a rant about life in New-Brunswick Canada, and more specifically Saint john from my perspective.

Submitted: June 11, 2018

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Submitted: June 11, 2018

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The struggles of a newbrunswiker


Living in a small town usually doesn't get you far, Leaving a small town doesn't get you any farther. There is a big struggle here in new Brunswick that many people ignore. Money, it all comes down to money. The percentage of people on welfare here is incredible, and there are not many ways to combat this. The jobs available here will not take you if you have been unemployed for any number of years for any reason because they put you in the category of not wanting to work of doing a really shit time of it. 


I have been out of work for over 10 years now, because of mental issues aswl as raising my child. The struggle is real. I have no reputable education regardless of me being "smarter than average" employers do not see this. they see you as a welfare bum no matter what you look like or carry yourself to be. Saint john is the biggest shit hole for this. Just going to the store you get treated differently when you wear your hair down vs in a bun. because all the other welfare moms wear there hair that way. wtf?  And you cant even get a job at Tim Horton, they would rather have people who don't even speak English. ( i don't have a problem with that its just that we are being turned down in favour of them)  And even if you do end up with a job paying for daycare takes up your entire check, so you have to stay on welfare.


 Going back to school i.e.. community collage, there are no decent courses! -bricklaying -office -steel worker. where are the good courses that people will want to study?  And when you do get this diploma, i have had so many people say they went to school for 4+ years to not even get a job in that field because there are no jobs associated with it. So you get a nursing student working at subway. taking a job from someone who hasn't had the chance to go to school. this Provence is fucked. 


I hate this city, its full of dumbass gangster wannabe who live on welfare for there children to grow up and do the same. And the amount of parents who neglect there children and should have them taken away but don't gets on my nerves. And the percentage of handicapped people here is retarded. its something like 30%!  whats wrong there? its something. Maybe its the water quality, maybe its the inbreeding or the fact that handicapped people are making babies of there own adding to the population of fucked up people. Or maybe its the air, there are huge factories all over this city, one of which is the Irving oil refinery that spews god knows what into the air when its foggy, polluting the whole city. Its no wonder no one gives a shit about anything. Why should they? the government don't. 


And the schools... Where in the hell do these teachers get a degree? I know more than most of them, i carry myself more professional that the damned principal! and thats saying alot because im not a notable person.


I don't have a fancy degree in my back pocket, i don't even have a job atm. But i have great ideas, and ways to do things that are fresh, but no one here wants to hear it because it will make them have to change things. no one wants to hear someone come up with something better than you, makes you feel inadequate. So they ignore you or turn it around and make you feel like shite. 
Another thing i find happens a lot here is that employers would rather get a friend to work for them than a person whom is qualified to work there. If you don't fit the click your snubbed. It feels like middle school all over again, getting picked for soccer last because you think differently and ardent friends with the leader. Its everywhere and so very sad. 


How are we supposed to rise above this? where is our solution? Because i cant find one. They are so stuck in there ways they wont hear of anything different. 


The other day there were men who work for the city cutting down trees in my backyard, presumably because there too close to the power lines. So they did there thing and i watched like another person would. they cut down the trees cut them into logs and then left them there. they are supposed to pick up everything but they didn't, i heard one guy say " nah its fine, leave em there. No ones watching anyway" Now these people get paid over 30$ an hour, and they leave this shit behind? Why?! is it really that hard to throw the logs into your wood chipper? no its not but you would rather sit around smoking your vapes for an hour than do your job. Wtf? how many people would love that job and actually do it right, i for one would, i take pride in the things i do. But because there friends and family of the people who own the company they don't get fired or penalised at all. 


This world is upsetting, the older i get the more i want to run off into the woods away from everything and live a simple life away from all this bullshit. I don't know if i can handle this, witch sounds incredibly stupid, weak and maybe selfish, but how can i prosper here? How can i raise my child in a place that has no care for anyone else, no decency, no achievable success? What does the future hold for us in this city? not much i fear. 


What am i to do, i am stuck in a rut so far down i can no longer climb out of it. My self esteem is non existent, i am fearful of loosing everything ive worked for so far. I don't know what people think of me, but i assume they thing i am a lazy useless person who does fuckall all day because i like it. No i don't like it i hate it, sitting here wasting away my 20s soon to be 30 with nothing to show for it, nothing going on, no enthusiasm for anything because ive been let down so many times. rise above they say, keep going never give up. Well Jesus, im fucking tired of it. Being some one with anxiety and depression you cant just do that, its a daily struggle to do anything. I'm rotting here, and its really starting to show, on myself, on my daughter, and in my home. 


I need a win, desperately. But There is nothing to win at. There is no one to blame but myself, and thats how i got in this rut. Blaming myself so much that ive got no will to try. I don't like to commit to anything because i know it will just fall to pieces, so the easiest thing for me it to not even try. but that is getting me no where. 


I guess my point is new Brunswick is the hole of Canada and Saint john is at the very bottom. 

 


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