The Poem Of Splinters

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Decided to share experience of a bad day since I gave myself a headache thinking of a plot for either my next poem or short story .

Submitted: June 14, 2018

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Submitted: June 14, 2018



I drove my old klunker

up the driveway,

belts screeching,

exhaust popping ,

and brakes squealing .

As I shut the engine off

old lady miss Winters,

my next door neighbor ( I think she may be early stage of Alzheimer's)

says " could you make any more noise

with that dam* car of yours ?"

So I said " I'm sorry about that miss Winters "

And she gave me a bizarre look and said

" and quit trying to look through my dress and see my nipples ."

She gave me a scowl as she walked away and I sat there in a good long moment of " What the he** was that?"

So I get out of my car and I open the door to the sunroom porch to make my way inside.

Well , as soon as I get one foot in the door

the stray cat, that keeps showing up ,dug it's claws into my thigh.

And I threw my leg in the air trying to get it off .

It looked like I was kicking a field goal.

I think it is possessed because it attacks me every time I walk through the door.

I had to work a morning shift the next day ,

So I decided to go to bed early.

I went to the bathroom to go number one and brush my teeth .

Well I was in the middle of getting my only toothbrush ready when it fell in the toilet.

And the toilet had pee in it because I was too dumb to flush .

So I get mad and decide to kick the bottom of the sink

and when I did , my big toe hit the edge of the drawer that was below the sink.

I looked at my toe and saw atleast seven splinters .

This may sound like a bunch of hogwash and made up bs , but it's all true.

That day was a pain in the a**.

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