The Orlando episode

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Travel  |  House: Booksie Classic


Why I don't fly without my wife anymore.

Submitted: June 16, 2018

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Submitted: June 16, 2018

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It begun innocently enough. I had flown from my home in New England to visit my parents that had long since retired back to Florida. My wife hates to fly and after an argument that did not go well, I ended up going south alone. (spoiler alert, tomorrow is another anniversary for us.) 

Now the time with my parents was nice, but I did miss my wife and didn't like that we had left angry and I was in a rush to get home. So being a Friday and it being Orlando Florida, my parent dropped me off at the airport two and half hours early in anticipation of a long wait to get through security. A seasoned traveler, I was prepared to stand in line for some time, but life had other plans for me. 

If you have ever been in a busy airport before the sight of no one waiting for security is a little unnerving.The place was completely empty! I paused and looked behind me incase I had missed some warning sign or something important, but the TSA agents just smiled and waved me forward. I spent longer chit chatting with the officers than I actually spent going through the check and only left when more people begun to show up and they had to get back to work. 

Now I had two hours to kill before my flight and it was lunch time. Orlando International is not known as a culinary destination, but I made my way to a bar and ordered a beer and after a short scan of the menu, I ordered the Conk Fritters. I was not disappointed in either. If it hadn't been for the hatred of using airplane bathrooms, I would have indulged in another beer. (Sam Adams Boston Lager for the record. Rather fond of Porters, but Boston lager will do nicely when its not available,) Now sated, I moved off to the concourse to find a seat that had an outlet for my laptop.

I still was amazed at how few people were present. I have flown out of some small airports before, but Orlando has always been busy. But this was noteworthy all on its own, but it gets better. Or weirder. 

I found a seat two row of seats past the gate I would be leaving from and sat down and plugged my old laptop in. IT needed the help as the battery was good for maybe an hour without a steady steam of electricity. I pulled out my ipod as well and put in my airbuds to lose myself in my writing. I had been entertaining friends on a forum by using their user names in silly stories. But every now and then I would lose my train of thought and look up for inspiration.

Only I became aware that seated directly to my right was a gorgeous woman dressed very sharply and ignoring me completely, I stole a glance as much as I could without turning me head, but there she was. Seated in the very next seat despite there being empty seat literally everywhere around us. I chose to ignore her back and found a new song I like and went back to writing while trying to place her out of my mind. But again I lost my concentration and had to look up. 

To find we had been joined. A beautiful blonde as well dressed as the darker beauty to my right was sitting there ignoring me while flipping through a fashion magazine. A quick glance around confirmed yet again that not only were there plenty of empty seats to be had, but there were almost no others even close. I muttered a small question to God about if this was some sort of test for arguing with my wife and stubbornly stuck my nose back into my laptop. 

After being unable to think of anything funny to write I sat back and sighed. And looked at the stunning woman sitting directly across from me and my two companions. This had to be a set up. Or was I that non-threatening that they choose to sit next to the guy in 40's with a wedding ring that was busy in his electronic toys? AS best as I could, I tried to find anything that could be a hidden camera, but to no avail. 

Now I tried to lose myself again, but it was getting close to departure time and I was praying that they would not be joining on my flight home. Luck was on my side as a flight was called and the one to my left got up and left. Shortly after another flight was called and the woman across from us got up as well, leaving just the woman to my right. Then my flight was called and I was relieved when she failed to also rise from her seat as I left, Never a word spoken or even a quick eye to eye contact. I left and wanted to shout back at the area. "Ha!", but I simply got in line and waited to get to my seat. 

When I found my row I was pleased to find the woman on the aisle was older and while she may have been a beauty in her day, now she looked grandmotherly. (Its a compliment. Just ask my grandchildren. They just hadn't been born yet then.) I took my window seat and fired up my ipod again. I wondered if I would tell my wife about the airport or not, knowing I would. That was until the hot blonde sat between us. Why God? Why? 

The plane took off and the two women begun to talk. The hot blonde ended every sentence with "bless their heart." in a thick southern accent that I understood all to well having grown up on the south myself. I stifled a groan and cranked the volume up on my ipod, hoping the battery would last the entire flight. 

The story ends there. The flight landed and I retrieved my car and got home and told my wife that we were never traveling apart again. So today we drive the thousand miles to my parents twice a year and no longer fly. Until this year. I will be flying overseas for work soon and my wife will have to stay home. Please God, I'm getting too old for this.


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