Unrequited Love

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


When you love someone, it never goes away.

Submitted: June 18, 2018

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Submitted: June 18, 2018

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You are standing with your friends,

Laughing.

Talking.

Smiling.

I happen to walk by,

That’s when I catch your eye,

And You smile and wave goodbye.

I start to move towards you,

But you walk away.

I pretend I was going somewhere else.

 

 

 

I’ve always had this problem where I fall in love with people. Boys mostly, girls sometimes. It’s usually someone who shines. Their entire being sparkles, and I can’t help but fall in love. It’s hardly ever sexual. I fall in love with the way their face lights up when they see me. Or the sounds they make when they’re concentrating. After many easy conversations, we get to the hard ones. After the hard conversations, I’ve dug myself in too deep and can’t seem to find my way out.

About four years ago I fell in love with this boy. He had golden hair, a beard, and these green eyes that….just… green doesn’t do them justice. They were peridot on a sunny day, flecked with gold, blue, and a hint of honey brown. He was kind of awkward. Skinny and bowlegged. When he walked quickly it was watching a penguin march. I loved him from the moment I met him.

He…didn’t love me back. But that didn’t stop me from becoming one of his best friends. We told each other everything. We shared heartache and sadness and joy and everything. And every time I would think that I wasn’t in love with him anymore, I would actually spend time with him and realize that I wouldn’t ever not be in love with this boy.

We hiked to the Hollywood sign together. We frequented Ikea. We taught each other sayings and proved that true friends don’t fade with distance. I helped him buy an aquarium, and he helped me pick out a guinea pig. We were comfortable. For the first time in my short life, there was a guy that I was comfortable enough with. We had stupid nicknames for each other.

Over time my love for him changed a bit. It went from desperate infatuation to something absolutely beautiful. We would never be “together”. Not in the sense most people thought. But we loved each other. We were best friends. We were planning trips together. We had our whole lives ahead of us and we couldn’t be more excited about it. Seeing his name on my phone screen made me smile. His laugh could always make me laugh.

The last time I saw him, he had just finished a show. He was terrified of singing in front of people, but he’d just performed a musical theatre medley and he was amazing. I told him how proud I was of him.

A few days later I was camping with some other friends of mine. He had been on a road trip to Vegas from LA. The car flipped over. He didn’t make it.

I wish I had said to him “I love you” one more time.


© Copyright 2018 Becca Jo. All rights reserved.

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