The Biggest Challenge in Life

'Challenge' is a very subjective word. Some may flinch at the thought of it, fear it; others may smile and welcome it with open arms. Challenges are something inevitable in life, popping up now and then to test our resolve. In my sixteen years of life, I think that I am facing my biggest challenge yet.

In this modern society, one’s worth is judged solely on their academic achievements. Whether it is getting a job, people’s opinion of us or even the status of a family, it is all based on the results of an examination. Therefore, many people these days pay great attention to their academic results in order to gain this form of superficial respect and awe from others.

Studying itself is a challenge for me, not because I am bad at it, but because I have to be good at it. My parents are constantly keeping an eye on my grades, expecting nothing less than an A for everything. If there is even a slight drop in my grades, they will start nagging and complaining at how I waste my time doing useless things such as drawing and writing. It always breaks my heart when I hear those words; my own parents labelling the things that I love to do as useless and worthless. They think that they just want the best for their child, but what they are doing is excessive to the point that I constantly feel suffocated each day. As for tuition classes, no matter how high the price, they are willing to pay; no matter how far the distance, they are willing to go. The best? What is the best that parents strive to give their children? Even after all these years, I still can’t seem to figure that out. 

Besides that, I am also receiving stress from my peers on my studies. It is human nature to compete against on another regardless of age and gender. It gives a sense of accomplishment to the winner and a reason to improve for the loser. However, for me, I am afraid of it. My school is a cluster school, so competition on academic results is stiff. The desire to be better than others had even cost me a friend. There are students who like to compare with my results and others who genuinely admire them. I am afraid of letting down those who expected more from me or even worse, other people taking behind my back when I fail. Therefore, I feel the need to do well every single time but I am getting tired of it. The journey to the top is hard and lonely. I have to keep going because I am afraid that I will fall behind on the race, but I am also scared that one day if I do get to the top, I might have lost more than I gained.

Studying has affected my life deeply, all in the wrong ways. There is a saying ‘Your environment can either make you or break you.’ The journey of life is long and tiring, and I don’t have the confidence if I can pull through. There is always the fear that I will break under the challenges and give up halfway. People say that we are the product of what we see in our minds of ourselves. I think that my biggest challenge in life is not even knowing what I see in myself.