Heartbrake

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 24, 2018

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Submitted: June 24, 2018

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Hi! My name is Andrew, i was diagnosticated with PTSD caused by a heartbreak.

Let me present you my story in a few sentences. 

When i was six my parents got me to gymnastics and i loved it until i turned 16. Yea, that means i spent 10 years doing my best in a sport center and i was good at it, almost the best.

When i left gym was the moment my life started. After few weeks i went to a birthday party. Everybody got drunk and an old friend from elementary school named N. came to me, grabbed my hand and took me in front of a girl and said: “Let’s play truth or dare. Ok. I’ll start. I dare you to kiss this girl.” And.. i kissed her. After few days she was my beloved official. We were inseparable. My heart melts when i’m with her.

Every day we spent at least 4-5 hours at my place doing stuff together, we both love sex, fun and mysteries. Of corse i had a circle of friends who got us off the house most like every day. After 1 year one of my friends presented me the most casual drug used on the streets named weed. I tried it and i loved it. We started doing that one time per week.. then two times.. and it goes to everyday. My girl was not so happy about it. She always told me that stuff took my brain away from her. That was my mistake. So, we are here, we just turned 2 years and 11 months of relationship. I left weed for like three months in the hope i’ll get her back, and it looked like i’m doing it right. One day she told me we should get out more often with her 2 friends. I was not so happy about that because i know very well what kind of people are they. At least i knew then. And that s how she started going out with them 3 days in a row. We had an argue about that. And next day (4th) she came in front of my place and told me that we dont understand each other anymore and we should “take a brake”, these were the words she used! In that moment my heart exploded. My heart and after that my mind. I started acting crazy, hitting stuffs around me and crying all over the places.

She told me we need to break up because she wants to be lonely. after 3 days of crying and raving, i started to understand her reasons to get rid of me. One day after she came at my place to get me the clothes i still had at her place. When she opened the car’s glass the smell of her parfume got my nose off my face. I knew something is happening. I asked her where is she going and she told me her parents are having  barbeque. She left and after 5 minutes, my best friend is calling me and telling me that she is in a car with a dude, going out for a drink. That moment was the unwanted moment when PTSD installed in my brain. I was so angry until i could kill my self just to stop imagining her with another man, my heart burned right away. I felt a cold liquid flowing through my veins. And that s how it started.

In that night i called her 48 times with no answer. I was sitting on a rock on a street without lights crying for my baby. She was on a date! I was scrolling our conversation on facebook until i found a photo of her naked. That was the moment when i found a way to get revenge for what i felt, for what almost killed me, for all the pain that i still have in me today! After those 48 phone calls, i sent her these photo. She called me crying, i felt even worst, but if that s the single way witch i could manage to talk to her, i’ll do it. And i started acting even worse to her. The PTSD got further and further and further… I started getting more weed until i realised i need something stronger to keep my pain away. That’s how i found extacy. Believe me, that s a fine ass drug. After a few fights he blocked me. That was the moment when my brain stopped in a place but letting PTSD growing inside it. My thoughts were just about a soft suicide, or a lots of drugs. I started hurting people around me not physically but mentally. Everybody  know me as a depressive person, i’m not saying that that s not a truth. IT IS.

Its been 2 years since she blocked me. I’m alone since then, with some tattoos i got. i had some interferences with a girl who demonstrated me i cant love anymore. And here i am, 20 years old boy who cant love anymore with a lot of dark thoughts still imagining his ex happy with him. It hurts, a lot. Emotionally i am destroyed. On professional side its a surprise but i fucking do it very well, i am now managing a company founded in 98’ with a lots of clients. I’m just me and the owner making a lot of money. And that s how i found out money cant buy happiness, Love can!

In the end i want to give you one advice witch can help you. If you think you’ve found the ONE be careful not to lost her/him, it could destroy your life.


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