Island of Self-Destruction

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 04, 2018

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Submitted: July 04, 2018

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I'm on an island of self-destruction.

There are many islands surrounding me, but I'm drowning and you only pulled me up halfway.

I'm calling for help, but you can't hear me... I'm crying for help now.

I'm still drowning. And you're not even helping...

WHY?!!

I hear all your voices but it's fine, I'm okay with dying.

But I'm okay...

OR is that what you want me to say?! 

Because I'm definitely not okay, nor will I ever be okay..

So much happens .. things I can't forget even when I really wanted to.

But, "sorry" they say. "Sorry to tell you there's no way you can forget, it's forever with you." 

"Embedded in your brain. I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do."

 

I was screaming, waving my arms... trying to signal you to help me up, but like everyone else... you said you tried to help me after my eyes were already flushed. I'm crying in the ocean for somebody to save me, but you thought my tears were of joy, but my eyes were getting heavy.

Gasping for the little of life left ..It's like my pain was pulling me down under... reaching for your hand until I was like a goldfish who turned over... But you didn't really love me anyways, because you watched as I died over and over again, I knew that, but for some reason I thought it was okay... okay to be hurt because I grew up that way . Betrayal, pain, and confusion is where I stayed.

 

Stayed, and that's where my body laid like the titanic in the middle of the ocean, buried under the debris... Till the very day I wondered "Why didn't you save me?!" Save me from what... I don't know... myself perhaps. I was my own murderer but it was no suicide.. 

My mental had the gun but you pulled the trigger so would that be ruled a double homicide?! But I'm gone... now you speak of me. No I don't hate you for letting the  water take over me, but  don't do it again. Save someone next time. Don't wait till it's too late to not believe me when I say "I'm fine."


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