Used to the ways of her original planet, Harley saw how the mistakes of its government tore the order of her world, bringing about famine and war. Dark arts were practiced in its most devastating
form and slavery was common among their people. She was one of those people with no real home, with those who use her. She longed for salvation. Finally, the opportunity arose, only, she never
recalled leaving her planet. Instead, she woke up on Kaynika, a world so free, where she found herself out of place, lost and confused. Mighty beasts roamed the sky and creatures of beauty lurked
in the shadows to play their own game. Coming into contact with a group of pirates, will she, at last, find her place?
Table of Contents
Inner Darkness
For Freedom
Recent Comments
yeeessssss, im so happy this is finally out! so first off, my girl harley is a badass, still wily and tough as nails in the face of perpetual enslavement. its sad that her home planet was destroyed by such corruption and greed, so much so that trying to help another world ending so badly for her, seems like universe is against her success. but shes battled through it, and may finally have a chance to make it out alive, if hse can muster up the strength and fortitude to kill this gavin guy.
the first chapter was amazing as i thought it would be. the beginning, with her weak and fragile, only knowing sadness and pain of old memories, lost in her thoughts as its the only place she could escape the grim reality she found herself in. but that determination to escape at all costs is what draws me to her so much.
excellent beginning to an amazingly awesome novel, shada, i'm looking forward to reading the rest of it more than you know! :D
Author
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Thank you, Zach, for your amazing comment. I am glad you still like Harley, seeing her on the screen in writing instead of just an idea.
She is indeed very strong, but after all that's happened, what will happen next?
Thank you again for reading :D
An excellent story, the descriptions were beautiful, and you allowed me to easily picture the situation within my head. The torment and suffering poor Harley has been through was quite clear, and the fact that she wasn't alone in that pain was also made clear. The people who captured her are heartless monsters and should be put in there own cells for all eternity, mwahahahaha.
On top of the excellent imagery, you have given clear personalities to each character. Harley is tormented and tortured, disrespecting her captives, while Gaven is rich and powerful, not caring about Harley's mistreatment.
Author
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Haha, thank you so much Shadow :D I am glad you thought it was well described and written. They really do deserve to be locked up in their own prison. Harley, however, has her own plan :)
Sun, July 8th, 2018 7:29pm
Yes. The moment I've been waiting for. Let's Get started on this review.
So I must admit I'm surprised on how dark this story started off compared to your other works such as Ember springs and Kaynika. You set the tone of this story very well which isn't really a surprise since you have some of the best descriptive writing I've ever read. I was also quite surprised to find out that Harley started off the story in such a predicament.
Another thing I liked in this chapter was the tiny bit of history of her planet and life. From there we can get a peek at her skill set. She's Obviously very skilled at sneaking around while using the environment such as rain to cover her tracks and she's very careful, such as not even trusting the frail man on the side of the road. It's sad to see what her planet became. It's nice knowing how much anger was building up within her when she thought about it. It shows that she cares deeply for what her planet once was. Great ending to the flashback as well. Very on point.
Oh you did a great job with Gavin. I instantly hated him from the moment you described him. I got worried for a second because it seemed that Harley's spirit was broken in the very first chapter, but as soon as she said "how about a game of tag" I knew this girl was fierce. I also got goosebumps when I read "If you want to play, let's play"
Seriously, what a great way to end this first chapter.
I just started on a few of your work. I read a couple of short stories that showed off your humor and (your contest story) that showed me a hint at how dark you can get. I finished Kaynika which had a great heroine and one of the creepiest antagonist that I've seen from you so far. Now I'm bringing these up to tell you that the hype train for "Turning The Tide Is Real". I came in with high expectations and I haven't been derailed from the train. In fact, I'm even more excited than when I first heard about this story. I mentioned your previous work because your writing skills have imporved drastically each time I read new work from you and now I know you are about to put your skills to the test with this story. I can see it now. This is going to be my favorite story from you. Amazing job on this first chapter Shada and don't keep us waiting too long.
Author
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First off, thank you so much Dom for this amazing review :D
Before even writing this story, I had a feeling it was going to get dark, and it surprised me how easily it seemed to come together when I actually started writing it. This first chapter went exactly how I planned and so much more. Her dialogue was kind of tricky, but after the rewrite, I fixed it up and it is a bit better :D
There is quite a bit of history based around this world of hers, and I think as the novel progresses, you will see more and more of it as well as her role in such a place. :D When living in a world like hers, you have to pick up a few skills in order to survive.
Gavin is a nasty man, and it only seemed worse for Harley, seeing him. But in the next chapter, you will see a little of true Harley. I am glad her dialogue in that scene got across what I wanted. After her seemingly having a broken spirit, as you said, I wanted to show that despite that, she still has some fight in her. I am glad you liked my ending as well. :D You might see a few more of that as the novel comes along :)
Reading this last paragraph just about had me jumping for joy and screaming to my brother. I am so happy that train keeps on going. This novel is going to test every strength and weakness I have in writing, from my action, to my emotion describing, to my world building and characters, to my mix of genres I have instore. I certainly hope it keeps as your favourite, haha. Prepare for slightly more dialogue in the next chapter :)
Thank you so much for reading and commenting :D I will try and get the next chapter up as soon as I feel I’m ready :D
Fantastic job Shada! Your descriptions and emotional tension were absolutely masterful, and you perfectly ended the chapter. I can't wait to read more :D It's been a bit coming, hearing all about this story throughout the past months and even helping a bit ;) hahaha. So I'm ecstatic to finally be able to read through this adventure you've created! :D
Mon, July 9th, 2018 9:18pm
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It really has been a long time coming :D But I hope what I have planned will work out in the end. Thank you so much for reading :)
Mon, July 9th, 2018 3:50pm
Really well-written with fantastic descriptions, Shada. I think Gavin is going to have his hands full with Harley. Looking forward to reading more.
Mon, July 9th, 2018 9:34pm
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Thank you so much, Hully :D
Gavin certainly does, haha.
I hope you do read on and enjoy what I have in store :D
Wow! This is great!! But that’s no surprise. I was hooked from start to finish. The description of the prison Harley found herself in had me feeling sick. You really set the scene from the get go. And Gavin is a real piece of work. I’m hoping Harley finds the strength to throttle him with, at least, one of her nine tails. It looks like Gavin might be falling into Harley’s trap. Reading on!! This is addictive stuff!! Congrats Shady.
Tue, July 10th, 2018 8:21am
Author
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Thank you sooooooo much :) I'm happy you liked it :D it is definitely a horrible place to be, but maybe, just maybe, Harley will be freed from such horror. Again, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It means so much to me :)
Tue, July 10th, 2018 10:48am
I like this, almost sounds like the script from a movie! Very intriguing start, my friend!
Tue, July 10th, 2018 4:17pm
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Thank you :) I'm glad you liked my first chapter :D
Tue, July 10th, 2018 10:49am
Well, I can see why you're excited about this one and I can say, I am too! :D
This is an excellent start to your novel- and I'm quite intrigued and interested to see where it'll go. :)
Neeeeeedlessss to say you always do a great job with your descriptions. But wow, I feel so bad for Harley, she's certainly not catching a break being assigned to Gavin. He doesn't seem like a nice person at all, and I can't imagine he will treat Harley well.
I'm not too familiar with the nine-tailed fox, I've done minimal reading on lots and lots of different mythological creatures across all kinds of cutlutres and I've read about them- aren't they considered cleevr friends or demons? I guess we'll have to see which Harley is, ha! I definitely like her attitude and character so far, it'll be interesting to see how her character progresses, especially with the conflict and guilt, responsibility and burden her past is obviously taking a toll on. And good job with the flash back, by the way. I love the detail of the rain muddling her movements. I just wonder what she was doing and who was seeking her out, and if it's from discrimination for her race. Though, honestly, I can't imagine how huge her dress is if she had to hide mine tails under it lol!
You did such a good job on this! :)))
Author
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Yay! You have no idea how happy I am to hear that :D
I am glad you like this starting :D And yeah, Harley has it rough. Gavin is someone you might want to avoid, haha.
Kitsune is the word, often perceived as foxes who gain another tail every 100 years. They are known as mischievous yet knowledgeable and hate dogs and captivity. Demons are something they have been mentioned to kind of be like. Aside from dragons, this species has to be one of my favourites, so writing one in a story is something I am pleased to do. She will be a very fun character, yet also very complex. In time, Harley will show many sides of herself, question is, what side will you like? I'm excited to see what people think of her :D
I am glad you liked the flashback too :D Answers will be revealed soon enough :)
But yeah, hiding her tails under her dress is not an easy task. Imagine how sitting would be, hahaha.
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, and for taking the time to read :D
Ok, Shada. I have to agree with pretty much everyone on the descriptiveness of your chapter and the portrayal of your characters. It's interesting that you chose a nine tails fox as part of your characters form factor. I'm assuming that you are aware that a nine tails fox in Japanese mythology is considered quite rare and the most powerful of the fox demon types in that association. i. e. Naruto with Karuma(nine tails fox entity) inside him.
Also, the idea that this little spitfire of a character is a female and packing some killer hardware is quite the trope and intriguing. Though you didn't really describe your character fully, I got the sense she was rather fox-form fitting, lol, especially once you revealed she was fox-like with the eyes. My only question is how she hid the nine tails as she moved about? Those things have to stand out pretty well unless she employs a cape or some sort of muscular control to combine them together into one large mass. Still a hefty feature.
Anyway, your descriptions are good, loved the few tropes you've used like being captured and the idea of fighting back albeit deviously, of course, and the smirking remarks of your main. The darkness of the beginning will only add to the atmosphere of the story as you progress. I've noted a few lines of material to maybe take a second look at along with the other comments. Otherwise, I think you did an awesome job developing the elements into a cohesive and engaging story.
Author
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Yes, I am much aware of the species. I have done my research and drew my own conclusion as to what I want for the species, without it straying to far from what is already known. The good thing about fantasy is that I can modify in some ways without it being too different. I know they are pretty rare and there is a reason why I chose nine tails specifically, due to how I made her Kitsune species in this novel :D The thing with her kind is that they do try to hide what they are, but struggle to do so. Being the girl, the dress makes sense, but also not very plausible without making it SUPER poofy, haha. Nine tails is a bit tricky to work with, really, but she needs the nine. I guess, I thought that when on the ground, the dress was long enough to conceal her legs, when spread out, so why not her tails spread around her body too? It's an impossible stretch, I guess, haha. Maybe I should give the 'how?' a little more thought.
Harley has quite a few tricks up her sleeve, which she'll slowly reveal as time goes on. Question is, how far can I take her?
But anyway, thank you for your wonderful and insightful comment, as well as those icomments. I will make sure to edit this chapter appropriately :D
Okay, first things first. I'm use to you writing about dragons and such but nothing like this. Second, I knew I would be hooked from the first paragraph. Third, I LOVE IT. Your descriptions like everyone else before, they are dead on. Real image paintings. The character line-up, excellent. I already want more of it because of how well written this chapter was. BEAUTIFUL. I do have one suggestion though. While I was reading, you never mentioned her name which can be a problem in the publishing world. The over usage of she and her is distasteful for them, but for me its good. Just throwing that tip out there if you are thinking of getting this published. Either way damnit, I loved and and want more. LOL. But I can't wait for the next chapter to be posted. Nice to see that you're stepping away from your usual dragonic fantasy writing and embarking on something new, at least to me its new. 5 star rating as of now.
Thu, July 12th, 2018 1:24am
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Hahahaha, well, there may not be any dragons in this chapter, but Maaaayyybbbeee one will come in later.... Hahaha, but the story as a whole doesn't revolve around dragons no matter where it is set. I do love writing about my dragons though :D
I am very happy you liked this first chapter :)
I actually did mention her name, but I know I didn't use it very often, since there aren't many characters in total. It's Harley, but I see what you mean.
It is quite different from what I usually do, but not entirely different in some ways, as you'll see in time :) anyway, thank you for taking the time to read and comment
Are you kidding me? This just grabbed my attention by the scruff of the neck. First of all, I love how simple, yet clear, your descriptions are. I love the tension. And the winner is the Badass female protagonist. You have my heart here. Lol.
Keep me posted.
Author
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Hahaha, thank you :) I'm glad it has your attention and that you like Harley so far :D I will certainly keep you posted, thank you for your interest and taking the time to read and comment :)
Thu, July 12th, 2018 12:29pm
Loved the first paragraph. Very rich in detail.
Harley is a force to be reckoned with already. Subtle and fearless with a hint of regality. I look forward to seeing where you take her.
I will follow the story and comment as I go. You are off to an excellent start.
Author
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Thank you so much :)
I'm glad you like my first chapter :D
I wanted to finish your other story first, but I could not ignore partaking in the hype of your newest story. What can I say that hasn't already been said? As usual, your descriptions are spot on, movement is conveyed nicely, and your characters are brimming with personality and life. This should come as no surprise, but I loved this first chapter, and I really can't wait to see what will come out of this one.
This story seems to be going along a darker, more action oriented route than most of your other works, if I am not mistaken. Either which way, I know that I am down for a good time.
And I almost forgot to say, Harley is definitely a character that is right up my alley. I'm getting goosebumps thinking about where we are going to go next.
Wonderful job yet again, Shada!
Author
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Hahaha, well, I'm glad you stopped by to partake :D I am very happy you enjoyed it. It is definitely going to be a challenge, this one, but that's precisely why I'm writing it, to challenge my strengths and weaknesses in writing, to push myself and see where it leads, to improve myself :D
This story will test my character building, my dialogue, my action and emotions, it will fully introduce you and all my readers to my world and just what lies within it. Basically, it is possibly going to be my most proper novel I've written to date, also my most mature, haha. It is certainly going to be darker than my usual, you're right there :D
Harley has many sides to her. In time, you'll see the truth of what lies underneath that cocky smile of hers.
Thank you so much as always, for reading and commenting :D
This is definitely some of your best written work yet. You have really pushed in your descriptions, allowing your characters to have more definition in their thoughts and actions. Even with Gavin in flashy clothes, you describe why he dresses like this, but the thoughts of Harley are to question why, and the fact it does nothing for him. I find descriptions like this brilliant, because it is allowing the reader to scope every thought and action of descriptions in 3D, and you are pushing this. I think the descriptions are phenomenal, perfectly describing the life of Harley, and the snob Gavin is. They are worlds apart, and you are showing this. You see why they are worlds apart, as Harley is the Sarah Connor badass rebellion from The Terminator fame, who has really nothing and is tormented, while Gavin is rich, is powerful, and is the authority. It's an interesting clash of personalities. I find this an interesting story of excellent work. I will read the next chapter tomorrow. Great work Shada!
Sun, July 22nd, 2018 6:44pm
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Thank you so much, Dexter, for your wonderful insight. I am glad you like this first chapter. It is certainly going to be my most challenging one, but that's the whole point of this novel, that and I really wanted to write a story with these characters, haha. Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment. It's much appreciated as always. :D
Sun, July 22nd, 2018 4:21pm
The descriptions are well written. The pace is fast, but reasonable. I feel sympathy for Harley, can't be easy to live day after day with the promise of torment. I love that she has nine tails, as it's one of my fav animals, lol. Gavin is a dick, but I didn't feel intimidated by him, just annoyed. I think if you can portray him a but more menacing, darker you'll get that intimidation you're looking for. I do want to know more about Harley and where she comes from, what she's fighting for. I do realize this is only the first chapter, lol.
Overall I liked it. Maybe add some more struggle, make me feel her pain, her suffering, that will make what she going through that more powerful.
Great first chapter!!
Author
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Thank you so much, Midnight, for your feedback. I am glad you liked the chapter and I see where you are coming from. I will edit this chapter and see if I can improve it :D
Wed, July 25th, 2018 12:15pm
This is a good story and has the least amount of errors from any of the other books I have critiqued. Will continue to the second chapter next time.
Fri, July 27th, 2018 1:58am
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Hahaha, thank you :)
Thu, July 26th, 2018 7:13pm
What a gripping opening! Harley is a good opening character, one that I felt instantly empathetic towards. The city of Minako is a dark and ominous place; you described it vividly. I look forward to continuing this story!
Fri, July 27th, 2018 2:12am
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Thank you so much :) I'm glad you like my first chapter :D
Thu, July 26th, 2018 8:08pm
I'm always impressed by the stories that come from your mind :). Everything about this so far is perfect, I could picture this chapter in my head like a movie. Its crazy because as I'm sure I've mentioned before, I don't usually like Fantasy Novels but yours are extremely enjoyable. Harley sounds like she's kind of a Robin Hood, which I like, and also she has tails! Strange to say but I don't completely dislike Gavin....yet. (Sorry I have a bad habit of not reading book descriptions by people I know never fail at writing a good story) lol, so that being said I think it'd be insanely shocking if somehow Harley and Gavin become friends and start to care for each other over time...not in a stockholm kind of way though. Really great so far!
Wed, August 1st, 2018 3:48am
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Thank you so much :D I am happy you like my story so far. This is going to be a crazy one, haha, so I do hope you continue to enjoy it. Harley is a different sort of character from the ones I am used to. I guess Gavin isn't overly hateable, haha, but the events in the next few chapters decide what shall hpbecome of him. That would be an interesting bond to form from this, but possible I'm sure.
Anyway, thank you again for reading and commenting. It means so much to me :)
You went through a lot of work to create a painting. You leave no questions to be asked about what this character looks like or what are their personalities. Then again, it leaves little for the reader to imagine if they like to do so. You've done exceptional world building as well and it doesn't come across as boring exposition. As you read you read this you don't have to say more than beautiful.
Sat, August 11th, 2018 1:49pm
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Thank you, Wyn, for reading. I am a huge description writer, which is pretty obvious here, but I'm glad you thought my world building and such was well done. Thank you for your kind words :)
Sat, August 11th, 2018 11:50amFacebook Comments
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It is incedibly well written. I love the character as well kind of like a badass snarky....riddick is what first comes to my mond actually. A movie i loved as a child. I camt wait to see what happens next. I woke up after my phone pnged so not mucj to say but it is incredibly well written and also i love your colorful character builds they are soooooo amazing
Mon, July 9th, 2018 2:21amAuthor
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Thank you so much Kossette :D Your comment means a lot to me. I am happy you like Harley so far :)
Sun, July 8th, 2018 7:26pm