Desperate Smiles

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 13, 2018

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Submitted: July 13, 2018

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The world will tell me I'm a traitor and my heart will agree. The world will annex me like a sickness as if my crime is unforgivable. "But it was a crime of passion!" my mind pleas. Only for my heart to struggle out of its restraints in anger and sadness. My internal strife seeps out into the light and everyone can see. I feel their eyes peering, watching only me. "I've done nothing wrong!" my brain yells but my mouth has stitched itself closed out of embarrassment. What do I do? I am surrounded by the vicious thoughts of outsiders who believe they can see in. What do I do when they begin to knock on my door and ask, "what happened?" "I tried. I tried so very hard. I tried to the point where I thought something was wrong. I tried to the extent of wondering whether or not I was human and I let go once. Just once. Only ever once. So why?" My brain sobs to my soul, yet, there's no answer or retaliation. The silence hangs a rope across my neck. It steals the light from my eyes and drowns me in darkness. I hang, isolated from the world and myself. When it all starts to feel numb my soul answers. "This is how she felt when you spoke that night. This how she felt every night. This is what it's like to be disregarded once. Just once. Only ever once." As I sit there in the darkened place where my soul used to be. Where she used to be. There's light, a spec within the void and it asks. "Are you okay?" With the strength of a god and the deception of a devil, I look up and answer with my brightest smile, "I'm fine."


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