All about it

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


All About It is a little insight about me, where i stood in life. First we will start with my past and work it's way up to the future and what's in store for it. You'll get a dose of everything,
romance, depression, lost, anxiety, past, future, questions and answers. Sometimes, you will know exactly the way it goes, but other times it will be frustrating, heartbreaking, and confusing. I'll
be explaining each writing before the poetry. So, try not to worry too much. at times it will get dark, and other times you'll see the light. This is All About It.

Submitted: July 14, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 14, 2018

A A A

A A A


Ghost of me


Falling to a universe

Everyone just stares

I slip into its curse

Fully immersed


Lost in humankind

Left it all behind

Where is my mind

I’ve lost track of time

 

The airs getting fogged

Mirror reflections are blocked

My shadows circling endlessly

I’m lost you got the ghost of me


Got me by the wrist

Burning me to a crisp

Broken metal chips

My grave in its grips

 

I’m gasping for air

Hello, hello, out there

I’m a circle in a square

No one seems to care

 

What am I to believe

I’ve lost all reality

Can’t anyone see

That I’ve been deceived

 

Darkness described

Chained me from living life

It’s what’s inside

That’s needs to be revived

 

An unescapable feeling

to depress the screaming

keeping me from speaking

running in around misleading

 

Its world war three

Picking up pieces of debris

But stuck in this reality

This is the ghost of me

 

I started this one a while back but could never find the words to finish it. I keep everything thought process or tid bit of information, lines and everything written down in a notebook so I can come back to it eventually. I'm a bit of a jumper in my thought process so bare with that in mind. I guess this ones more of a view from the otherside outlook. I don't even know my own thought process on this. 

Dark War 

I want you to know

We're in the eye of the storm,

Through this dark war

I'll be your light.

All the yelling and all the fighting,

I'm tired of dragging on pretending

I've spent lots of time thinking, dreaming.

So, where's my fucking happy ending?

What does it mean to come on top?

What does it mean when you've had enough?

Whos to say what's done is done?

Where's the referee to know who's won?

When you're building each other's graves

Deeper you dig, the longer the stay

Try to stay, trying to be brave,

Even I can see you're chipping away

 

Missing tokens, stressed and broken

Am I a witness to this tragedy?

Is this all you wanted to be?

Memories of happiness covered in your dust of misery?

Lost track of times, you lost your mind

Like walking on egg shells going in blind,

Where is the line between crazy and fine?

I know you're about to lose, fists up, made inside

Punches to the left and punches to the right,

You're trying to save it all but losing the fight

Through it all, I know, I'll be by your side.

Through this dark war, 

I'll be your light.

 

Okay, so this one is more about the feeling of being lost, but it's an adventure cause at first I was in my own mind trying to navigate my life, but the future in unknown. It's what scares me the most. I have no sense of direction when it comes to it and I'm trying to find my way through it all.

 

Gravity

 

This atmosphere

Chained like an imprisoned man

Tree vines got me bound

Pull my lips from it's frown

This gravity weighing me down

Think I'm going crazy

Please come save me

 Cause my head is in the ground

Too far too gone

I guess I fucked up

Yes, I really fucked up 

Now, now I'm kinda stuck

Somewhere between love and lust

This gravity weighing me down

Think I'm going crazy

Please come save me

 Cause my head is in the ground

Compass needles 

Spinning around again

A small device that leads 

to an unknown adventure

but I'm walking in circles endlessly.

This gravity weighing me down

Think I'm going crazy

Please come save me

 Cause my head is in the ground

 

This one is pretty self explanatory. But I'll explain the title so it can help paint the picture. A paroxymis (noun) defined as a sudden attack or violent expression of a particular emotion or activity. The Medicinal definition is defined as a sudden recurrence or attack of a disease; a sudden worsening of symptoms. I guess your view on it depends on what definition you view.It's more lyrical because this is another one I also wrote during songwriting class. 

 

Paroxysm

 

Etched your name with cigerattes, 

 When we were in love again,

Its true that hyou fed me lies

Just so you could feel alive

 

A paroxysm

Leading barricaded system

I can no longer ignore

Even for a second more

It burns but it feels so good

I was so misunderstood

But I'll die with the pain 

without you in vain

 

Your name scarred into my skin

 A parietal art form sin

It hurts my heart

 to be a carrier of this art.

 

A paroxysm

Leading barricaded system

I can no longer ignore

Even for a second more

It burns but it feels so good

I was so misunderstood

But I'll die with the pain 

without you in vain

I'll set myself on fire

 Watch as the flames fly higher

To erase this name

Tired of dealing with the shame

 

A paroxysm

Leading barricaded system

I can no longer ignore

Even for a second more

It burns but it feels so good

I was so misunderstood

But I'll die with the pain 

without you in vain

(It burns but it feels so good

I was so misunderstood)

A paroxysm

Leading barricaded system

I can no longer ignore

Even for a second more

It burns but it feels so good

I was so misunderstood

But I'll die with the pain 

without you in vain

 

Right now, I feel like taking a trip. A trip down to memory lane of one of my first writings. This was probably in grade 8. At the time I only shared my writings with one person, we're still friends today and she's read everything I've ever written. I value opinions, and don't take offense to the cristism that may come. Honesty is an important thing to have. Also be kind to 13-14 year old me.

 hate it when you lie to me..
those dirty looks that i see.
all of the classmates look at you,
then they look at me too.

oohhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhhh, yeahh.
i cant tell you anything anymore.
i cant tell you anything about her.
i would've killed a lot to figure out 
who did that to me so i shout.
BACKSTABBING FRIENDS

A couple of weeks later 
i saw you with that skater.
i dont know what you were doing,
but i saw your lips moving.
i thought i saw them touch, 
Though i thought it was much.
So i told your best friend,
Another note for her to send.

i can't tell you to stop.
Cause your cherry has been popped.
We used to be the best of friends,
When it all comes to ends.
You always start a war
but it never goes far.

oohhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhhh, yeahh.
i cant tell you anything anymore.
i cant tell you anything about her.
i would ' ve killed   a lot to figure out 
who did that to me so i shout.
BACKSTABBING FRIENDS

You think you are so cool,
But you just act like a complete fool.
You go around just acting like it wasnt you,
and you pretend your colours are true

The whole world is talking 
Around you; its not revolving, 
watch me as i leave.
Who cares about Steve. (yeah FUCK STEVE)

oohhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhhh, yeahh.
i cant tell you anything anymore.
i cant tell you anything about her.
i would ' ve killed   a lot to figure out 
who did that to me so i shout.
BACKSTABBING FRIENDS 

 

Okay, admittedly, that last one was laughable. Kinda funny, but laughable. This next one is also a blast from the past that I found in an email I had sent to a friend a while ago. I have no idea what I was talking about back then. Half the time I have no idea what I'm talking about anyways. I just type shit and hope it's relevant. Whatever, this was about it must have been a decent,crazy ride.

Rollercoaster Ride.

You’ll see a time pass by,

 And I‘ll begin to fly.

These emotions that try

 To ride this rollercoaster ride

 

You will always move me around

 Until I can touch the ground.

And I won’t make any noise,

When I’m hanging with you and the boys

 

Up and down as the stories read,

 You kept telling them what I said,

But I just keep making mistakes,

Hurry up and pull the brakes.

 

Do I seem like I’m going insane?

But like I said what’s the gain.

The story never ends,

The tracks will always take another bend.

 

Up and down as the stories read,

 You kept telling them what I said,

But I just keep making mistakes,

Hurry up and pull the brakes.

 

You’ll see a time pass by,

 As I begin to fly,

These emotions that try.

To start this rollercoaster ride.

 

Up and down as the stories read,

 You kept telling them what I said,

But I just keep making mistakes,

Hurry up and pull the brakes.

 

 

Those of you who have read this one before. or those of who know of how I try think and how my brain works. I think this earlier one may make a bit more sense now.

 

Jigsaw Flashback
 

It’s a jigsaw flashback

That’s never gonna last

Broken and Fractured

A Repeat from our past


Tomorrows pieces don’t fit

It’s just not the same

Unwilling to commit
Like yesterday’s happening again
Shattered scattered mirror glass
Blurred reflections of myself

leaving everything a mess

It’s all running parallel

It’s a million-piece puzzle

Taking more than a day

Cause it’s a lot to juggle

when the colours gone grey

 

It’s a jigsaw flashback

That’s never gonna last

Broken and Fractured

A Repeat from the past

 

Words cannot express

It racks one’s brain
it’s difficult to process

To play this life game

Put it down and start back over

Maybe the picture will start getting clearer

Gaining artistry in its color

A representation in the mirror

There’s beauty in the final product

That fits in a picture frame

I guess it’s kind of ironic

Is just an image of what I became

 

Depressing one for the books. Sometimes, it's just how I think. We can't always be strong. 

 

Concrete Houses (unedited- Part one)

 

There’s no heaven nor no hell

Just put my body underground

Even the strongest of concrete houses can come crashing down

How did you find your way to the eye of the storm?

How did you survive through it all?

Why am I trying to survive when in the end all we do is die?

In a world where sacrifices are to be made,

Why do I always have one foot in the grave?

Every time I get out of the storm I climb right back in

When will my life run out?

When will I fall and never get up?

There’s no heaven nor no hell.

Just put my body underground

Even the strongest of concrete houses can come crashing down

Even after all the damage is done

The aftershock still as strong as the first one

What was once sedimentary rock

Has dissipated into grains of sand

Leaving with. Blowing wind onto another land

Rubble of interlock from the concrete houses lay on the floor

Nowhere to walk, nowhere to stand, it’s a catastrophe, so be aware

There’s no heaven nor no hell,

Just put my body underground

Even the strongest of concrete houses can come crashing down.

 

 

When will it all end?

 

Happiness is sitting in your room in the dark listening to music as your world falls apart.

Nothing else makes sense as the world spins and everything feels senseless.

 Is this everything that’s meant to be or will I play a bigger role in society?

I can see my reflection in this knife, isn’t it nice, a backwards image of what I look like, what is this kind of life?

 When will it all end

The break in the bend

The testament of old or new

Who’s going to tell us the truth

Time nothing but consuming. Relatively a conspicuous thing that gives us direction to live or let die.

We need to die so others can live. It’s a strange thought to begin with, the circle of life in a different perspective.

Money nothing but a way to categorize, organize the needy, the greedy and the wise, but we’re all walking around blind sighted by economies unable to rationalize with these eyes.  

When will it all end

The break in the bend

The testament of old or new

Who’s going to tell us the truth

Its hard to believe when the truth is so misguided, a direction so one sided that it’s hard to be decided living in a world that’s combined and collided, subdivided, but we've all been left hypnotized

When will it all end

The break in the bend

The testament of old or new

Who’s going to tell us the truth

Okay, this is all up in the feels, love and what not. The fear of rejection, and everything that could be. But that's just my opinion of it. I guess my thought process was more like playing on a rocking chair in your head, you can go back and fourth but go no where. Do I say it or not. Keep the secrets or tell the truth. Only took me about 5-10 minutes to write this one so, It's probably not the best.

 

Whisper in the Dark

 

I’m sorry, I can’t find the strength to keep it hidden,

I’m lost in you, hope you know you are wanted

 

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper it to you in the dark

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper, don’t let me fall apart

 

But it all goes unnoticed

Just a whisper in the dark

Lost in the moment

Please just light my spark

 

Everything I hoped for Everything I need

Just don’t close the door on my dreams.

 

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper it to you in the dark,

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper don’t let me fall apart

 

But it all goes unnoticed

Just a whisper in the dark

Lost in the moment

Please just light my spark

 

Don’t let this be, just let this be

I will always have hope for what could be
 

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper it to you in the dark

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper don’t let me fall apart

 

I just want to be something, something with you

I don’t want to hide the secrets, so I say the truth

 

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper it to you in the dark

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper don’t let me fall apart

 

But it all goes unnoticed

Just a whisper in the dark

Lost in the moment

Please just light my spark

 

I whisper that I love you cause I love you,

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper it to you

 

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper it to you in the dark

I whisper, I whisper, I whisper don’t let me fall apart

 

 

These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night.

A child whispers quietly on a New York street

A person screams from within the forest trees

Government systems that’s unwilling to alter their ways

A soldier begging for change and hoping for better days

 

I got a secret sacred teaching for you

How did I love, how do I love?

It pours out from my heart and I wear it on my sleeve

 How did I love, how do I love?

 I got a secret sacred teaching for you.

 

No doctors, coaches or priests

The answer is farther from the degree

The writing from the ages, are no proof to me.

I won’t bow down when there’s nothing to see

 

Oh Yeah.

 

I got a secret sacred teaching for you

How did I love, how do I love.?

It pours out from my heart and I wear it on my sleeve

 How did I love, how do I love?

 I got a secret sacred teaching for you.

 

They keep the casings, but burn the evidence

They are taking the path of least resistance

Left behind, every hope, every dream

unreleased dreams in concrete.

 

I got a secret sacred teaching for you

How did I love, How do I love.

It pours out from my heart and I wear it on my sleeve

 How did I love, How do I love

 I got a secret sacred teaching for you.

 

Just me lost in my head again

Bridges

 

I’ve crossed myself.

I used to create bridges that run parallel

Now it’s spinning like a carousel

I’m not the operator in control

I’ve built these walls so tall

Just to watch them fall

Hidden myself from within a vault

Left now, distressed and distraught

 

 So far away from the path I chose

There’s always a reason, always an excuse

Am I running because I’m confused Will the bridge work out the way it was proposed?

Did I set myself up only to get used?

I was given the rope, given the tools,

Do I let myself get loose?

Or find a way to hang this noose?

 

Everything leads me down a different road

New place, new life, new area code

Overdose, overdrive, overflow, an overload

The emotions run high, but the bridge is down low.

What if there’s a sudden sharp bend?

What happens if this path doesn't lead to an end?

Bitten off more that can be chewed and comprehended?

Unable to understand and leave it half suspended?

 

I used to create a million parallel bridges

 to cross to the path of least resistance

 But what happened now in this instance

 Is what holds my fates existence.

What happens when time elapses

Will you watch when it collapses?

Flashes and crashes, what are the chances

When I build this bride and it comes down in ashes?

 

 

Can’t take whats already stolen

Can’t break whats already broken

The cards have already folded

As of now the chamber is loaded

We can have the attention of the world

If we get them to understand our words

we are calling the phones, no one picks up

As we snap back the trigger and hold it up

ATTENTION ATTENTION HEY YOU

Are you ready for this Russian roullete

Attention attention YES YOU TOO

Spin the cylinder just don’t regret

Attention attention TO THE WORLD

This is a game with no rebound

Attention attention SAY THE WORD

It’s loaded! This is going down

Placed the muzzle perfectly

Let’s create a little controversy

Raise the stakes a little higher

Create a spark a little fire

The papers already torn

The fires already burned

And we’re willing to sacrifice

This is the war this is our lives

Hold our story up like a legacy

A moment in time like history

A conversation that changes

The lives of many faces

This is the art work we paint

So if blood makes you faint

turn your head,

One of us will be dead,

We need to change the lives

Spin the gun one more time

One of us ends up without a face

And blood splatters all over the place.

 

 


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