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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

she has agoraphobia. lives with her daughter at home. her daughter just got her period, now what?


My daughter came home from school today, she told me about her new friend. She wants to go to a sleepover and will need a ride.  I’m not sure how much longer I can do this, I know I hurt her every day. I just can’t go out. I’m not sure what I can do now that’s Tom has left me. Everyone tells me I’m faking it that what I do when I see dirty things, I cry. When I can’t step outside the door to even grab the mail I feel awful that I put so much stress on my daughter, she’s only 13. I fail her every time I ask her to go to the store to get our weekly groceries I die inside, I should be getting groceries and meeting her new friend’s parents and go to her school conferences. I hate myself for it, ever since tom left she hasn’t been able to see him. It’s been two years.


The coffee pot was running in the kitchen, the smell of Starbucks Veranda Beans brewing invaded her bedroom. She lifted out of bed and down the stairs careful not to wake Samantha. The kitchen was small and full of light from the large windows in the Gothic 1900 century style. The paint on the walls glowed in the sun wafting through the windows. “Mom?” Samantha stood at the bottom of the stairs clutching the post in her arms staring into the kitchen with sleepy eyes. “Good morning sleepy head, how did you sleep?” she walked into the living room with her red coffee cup, her favorite and set it down on the white side table by the dark leather couch and grabbed Samantha by the head and held her in her arms.  “I love you, honey. So so so so much.” She held her there and kissed Samantha’s head. “Mom?”

“Yeah honey, what?”

“I’m bleeding.” Samantha looked down.

“What where show me where it hurts. “She grabbed her shoulders looking down to Samantha bloody legs.

“Oh honey I’m so sorry, why you don’t go take a shower and I’ll be right in. I thought you maybe still had a few years, I guess not.” She turned around and grabbed her cup and walked up the stairs with Samantha toured the shower.

“Mom, I..I… I don’t know what to do.” She looked at her legs and looked up at her mother scared that she’s done something bad.

“It’s ok, woman just have to deal with this in our lives. She grabbed a beach towel out of the cabinet and started the shower. “You get in and I’ll put your things in the washer ok?”  She turned and left the room closing the door behind her. Samantha watched the door close and slid off her clothes and stepped in the shower avoiding the Curtin.


Knock knock “are you in the shower yet? I’m coming in to grab your clothes.” She opened the door slowly and dipped down and scooped up the clothes and set them in the sink. “I don’t want to get out, the hot water is nice and makes me stop hurting.”

“You don’t have to get out, I’m just going to but your things in cold water for now and then later in the washer. The cold water gets the blood out.” She turned the cold water on and rinsed her daughter’s bottoms in the cold water and ring them out. “I’m going to come back with some new bottoms and a pad ok? I’ll show you how to put one on and everything” she closed the door behind her and slid down onto the floor leaning against the door and cried for a while. She stood and threw the clothes in the washer with soap. She reached above the washer and grabbed her journal.  



Samantha got her period today. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I feel so bad for her. I hoped it would be a few more years but I got mine at 14 so it wouldn’t have made a difference. I’m not going to be able to show her how to pick out the ones she needs and get her pain medicine. I’m going to call the school and let them know she had a cold and will be out for a few days...just so she can figure out how to deal with this. I wish Tom was here so he could go with her to the store, and help her. Tom always hated the thought of periods but I figured because Samantha is his he would try to not be so disgusted with it.


She closed the journal and stood on her tippy toes and put the journal back on the high shelf. She closed the doors to the Landry area and went into Samantha’s room opened up the top drawer and looked for a pair of ugly under where. She knew the pain of getting her period when she was young and ruining a pair of her favorite under where. She grabbed the black pair as if to spare Samantha from this too. She closed the drawer and went into the closet covered with Jonas brother posters.  She pulled out sweatpants and fuzzy socks and a new warm shirt. She went back to the bathroom “honey I have your things here, I’m going to show you how to put on a pad ok?” she said softly and opened the door and closed the lid on the toilet and sat down and reached for a pad underneath the sink. “Why don’t you go ahead and dry off and sick your head out so you can see how to do this,” she said and saw Samantha push her head out and grabbed the Curtin around her head to cover her body. “Usually you’re going to the bathroom and so you're under where is pulled down and you just peel it off and throw it away. Then you take the new one and open it and put it evenly on the center of your under where and there’s this little tab that you take off and now you have these wings and just... push them under the underwear like that.” She left her under where on the top of the toilet seat.  “So when you're done come downstairs ok?” she smiled at her daughter waiting for a response before she left. “Um ok.” She closed the door behind her and headed down the stairs and into the kitchen holding her coffee and sipping slowly on it. She went to the phone and punched in the phone number for the school main office. She heard the dial tone and waited for an answer. “Hello?”

“Hi I’m Samantha’s mom calling to excuse her for a week, she’s sick.” “Is this Emma?”

“Yes she has a bad cold and I’m not sure how long she’s going to be sick.”

“Oh ok, she is… excused, thanks for calling. bye bye” and she hung up the phone and put it back on the receiver.


“Mom, you wanted me to come down right?” she leaned against the wall of the bottom platform of the staircase. “Yeah sweetie I called the school and excused you for a week and I set up a heating pad you can hold over you and some of your favorite movies too, why don’t you come here and lay down?” Emma motioned for Samantha to come to lay by her on the couch. “Thank you. I … I. thanks.” Samantha slowly walked over and leaned back onto the couch and plopped in and laid on her side clutching the heating pad to herself.  Emma moved the blanket onto Samantha and turned on Samantha’s favorite movie. “I’ll be in the other room if you need me, honey, ok?” Emma looked at Samantha with big eyes hoped for a response and left the room.

Samantha stared at the TV and started to fall asleep. Her pain was fading and she loved that her mom tried to make this easier on her.



I hope she can forgive me when she gets older for not being there for her. She’s my life and I know I let her down every day.


Submitted: July 19, 2018

© Copyright 2021 Zombies in Paris. All rights reserved.

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