To love the Beloved

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


This is a submission for local spoken word poetry in my area. It's a compilation of a few poems of mine, all about my deep and tragic, beautiful and magic love for another.

Submitted: July 18, 2018

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Submitted: July 18, 2018

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When he breathes,

shards of him splinter into my soul,

enabling even the best parts

of me an

opportunity for

momentum.

 

Deep streaks of ebony silence and

I'm reminded of a coldness

that continues to come

back in and haunt me.

Haunt me

like the error of

my spirit tumbling around,

in search of you

who are me.

 

Some separated being.

The heart knows itself bested in the mirror

of what it all contains,

and I drown in that

sorrow filled space like

a caterpillar

waiting,

trying,

to change the things

it can't rush forward.

 

Bitterness still

soothes the forewarned self in me.

Unable to capture the message,

and utterly helpless to

deny the experience.

 

I dream of you now,

often

like memories that

mention all the things

I will into continuum.

Missing the place where

things could make sense

even for a moment.

Yet the moments seek to disperse the truth,

like tiny relics marking

points of passage,

some right to knowledge.

 

And I miss that fragrance like

it's gone off and

something went wrong there.

There’s no one to blame so,

I just sit in it waiting

for truth to come out.

 

Folds of my self still preamble

the devastation,

as if there's no way to get out of the pain

  than to go through it.

As if there's no space to drive through the game,

but to play it.

And I'd dance in the architecture of you forever.

Missing words.

Off tempo.

Lost in the self together like

the loneliest beings.

 

Can this rage despite my own will

to explain the things that

probably should matter.

Like imagery of misfortune

and success proceeding.

 

I love that in this

that

I can't see the things

weighted so strong on some

conditional feeling.

I see the tragedy we created,

like holes in my spirit where

the light still can't get out.

I see the fragility in what

we created.

I see the vulnerability,

I see the beauty too.

Little particles of something

trying to connect

the mystery

of my love for him.

Face rested upon a familiar chest

caged by ribs the same as my own.

"Sometimes this body makes me feel like I am so alone."

I say.

He secretes the same calm calamity

that fascinates and destroys

at the same time.

His presence knows

every thought and every word

and he meets me then

in this knowing and undoing of love.

"You are what you want me to be."

A reminder instilled,

and it drives me to madness.

My proclamations of insanity

are inescapable from the palpitations

of such a pure and open heart.

I fear where this may take me.

I can no longer uncomfortably

be plagued with insecurity.

He askes, "Who do you want to be?"

Such sincerity, and penetration

drives fear off a cliff and leaves

no more room for playing

hide and seek.

That’s eating away at me

like the cocoon Im in creating
the re-embodiment to that
other place.

New space,

room for more growth that calibrates

no more

misinterpretation.
Words are licking on my spirit,

craving to carve out a realer truth.

Meaning loses its eloquence
as time passes,

and no changes.

This truth like lies.

Truth.

Like your words,
repeating this repetitive
feeling that holds vague memories of
my love for this.

Like the climb into
my own orifices

to find

meaning in your voice

while
you linger to cling on

to remember my words.

 

Can't pick from the tree much longer.
Lines cross over,

and my love for him.
My love is him

and remembrance.
Memory reaching out into time

that stages our collapse.

Time moves forward to the future
and I'm still here clinging on.

Like no more.

Like let go.

And
carve me out of you already.
Over the letdown,
and ignoring my own advice.


These revelations come from some
prophetic innards that I have yet to fully see.

They claim retribution in
my love for him,

for the sake of him.

All of these feelings are
crying out my spirit like
Agape.

Gaping infinitude that feels

like the thunder that claims me
out of our center.
Away from our lightning,

there is no light in this life,

we are
no longer meandering.

Boundaries bark at me like echoes,

over and over and over.
I see it again

made like this.

Mad like the lava that leaps from my town.
Words whisper in sensory,

and
nullify the feelings.
Coyote tricks like the beasts

and we
are animals here.

We are
locked in

a passion like vortex.
Cells collide in this vision

like a leap to the next one

over and over.

We are
what we are.

I am my love for him.

"You have to be you now, entirely."

He says.

And I surrender.

 

 

 


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