Angels I've Met Along the Way

Reads: 243  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 2 (v.1) - What is my Truth Doc?

Submitted: July 28, 2018

Reads: 30

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 28, 2018

A A A

A A A

Breathlessly, she tells Dr. Kelly, “I saw it all so vividly… My childhood, my teenage years, college, my present life… the dream was surreal! A scripture that kept popping up in my dream was ‘Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.’ I heard God whispering to me throughout the dream. I want to know what my truth is. Doc, can you help me?” 

 
She looks away as the doctor explains how dreams are quite revealing, and yes, one’s childhood and upbringing will most probably affect one’s entire life. 
 
“But I’m content,” she continues, “even if my life hasn’t turned out with the husband and children yet. My life has been blessed with the many people who have enriched my life. I know I’m still trying to finish my studies and find my soulmate, but still, Doc, at times, I do ask myself if I’ve made the right choices with men… it’s as if the men I chose to be with were not there emotionally… or is it me?” 
 
Sarah continues, “And, by the way Doc, what should one what should one legitimately expect from a partner, and what does one have no logical right to expect?” “Wow Sarah, this is a loaded question and one that is too early for me to answer. As we continue with the therapeutic relationship and I get to know you at a deeper level, we will try to answer this together okay?” 
 
“Totally understand Doc,” she sheepishly 
responds, “then tell me, why do so many women judge their self-worth on having a current relationship or on what their friends think about the relationship they are having with a man?” 
 
“Hmmmmm, this is more of a destructive belief that was passed down to many women from their grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and even older sisters. I believe we are in a paradigm shift, if you will, and you should not feel as if there is something wrong with you, if as you say, you feel you have not made the right choices with men. It appears that my generation and definitely yours has begun to debunk that destructive belief.”
 
She continues, “One thing I can tell you today is that it is important that you find solace for your overall mental wellbeing, Sarah. I have witnessed that it is those people who tell me they make time for themselves on a daily basis that are the happiest. They voice that they are okay with not having to spend every waking moment with another at the expense of their own personal space and solitude. You yourself just said that you are content, right? Well that’s great and I am sure that you have learned to set healthy boundaries without feeling guilt.” 
 
She pensively looks down at the floor as the doctor glances at her watch. She is quite aware of how people tend to personalize some of their partner’s faults; yet she allows this young lady to feel comfortable as the therapeutic relationship is built.
 
 “Interesting way of looking at things, Sarah,” she responds, thinking of a phrase about children and a white picket fence in a manuscript she is currently drafting. “Perhaps as the counseling process unfolds, you can learn to trust me with all your innermost thoughts and fears, so I can help you. Have you had counseling before me, young lady?” “No, I haven’t, but it’s something I’ve thought about in the past.” 
 
The divine Counselor in her soul whispers a verse to her heart, which she ponders briefly just before the doctor speaks again: 
 
“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the LORD. — Isaiah 54:1
 
“Did you bring the homework from our first session?” she asks as time is expiring. “Yes, of course. Here is some of my poetry.” She hands her some pages; some handwritten, others typed. “Hmmm, I see you chose to write creatively,” she responds. 
 
It is Dr. Kelly’s practice to give her patients several therapeutic assignments they can choose from as rapport is being built. “I too write and I have been working on a manuscript for a year now,” she smiles softly, “so I will definitely enjoy reading your thoughts.” “How cool!” exclaims Sarah.
 
The doctor takes the pages gently, puts them in her file, and tells her she will see her next week same time. Sarah grins as she leaves the room. 
 
That afternoon, she plans to work on her poetry. Sure, she has her studies to concentrate on, but she is not thinking of that now. She drives home in a lighter mood. She feels as if she is being listened to without any judgments. She turns on to Pandora and sings along to “when doves cry… ohhh… ohhh.” Someone waves at her, and she waves back. She is happy. That evening, she flips through Sarah’s files and is mesmerized by what she reads:
 
“You Were What?” 
 
If I was scared about H2O… I poured it and it exploded… 
You were mischievous… Curious… He was normal — but they thought he was a grandma’s boy… 
he liked to think… always a thinker… He asks if she is devious? Mischievo? 
What is that, she wonders? 
 
 
No date nor title on this poem, notes Dr. Kelly.
 
“She Is” 
She’s careful of those she lets in now. She listens more… loves more… IS more. 
 
Raucous isn’t her frame of mind. Knowledge and quiet power thereof is. She’s breathing, swimming amid the top. 
 
Dark clouds have dissipated and the full moon is rising. She is free and happy to be her inner child again. Contemplative, happy, balanced, brooding, thumb-sucking, selfreliant, and at times self-absorbent… still always POSITIVE. 
 
She is ready to find self amid the bureaucracy she despises. Today she enjoyed life… Tomorrow she will engulf it. Where is he? Her life is an amazing kaleidoscope of emotions… she is alive and blessed. She led a full life up to now and she’s loved as well as been loved… 
 
She’s been to that mountaintop. Some call her beautiful, eccentric, a Bohemian-at-heart, cute, selfish, doctor, teacher, friend, lover, partner, athletic, intelligent, pretty, confident, “la doctora estudiante,” the best ant (aunt) in the world. — 30 July 2005 Washington, D.C
 
Carefully, she makes notes on her file and puts it away as she gets ready for bed. Tomorrow is her day off, and she plans to rest. As she tries to sleep, she can’t help but wonder how Sarah’s poetry reverberates some of her own. She thinks of the book she is writing. She opens up her computer. 
 
Does God speak to you, or is it just me? I didn’t know he was speaking to me all along until a few years ago when I realized, after a traumatic car accident, that He had spared my life. I became afraid for a while after that incident. To this day, He has held my hand during those “down” times of fear. We are all interconnected in some way, some more than others. How can I make a change? I want to, but I am not sure how I can by myself. I have tried in my lifetime and have listened to others’ stories. I am aware that once we are gone, we want our stories to be remembered. We are all storytellers. And I don’t believe we can make a change unless He touches our spirit, and until we realize He lives in us, and we go to Him in earnest communication and prayer. 
 
The still, quiet spirit that connects Dr. Kelly and her new patient Sarah, murmurs in her heart: Call to me and I will answer you. — Jeremiah 33:3 
 
Most of my adult life — or perhaps since I can remember — I’ve been somewhat of a loner, independent and carefree! I remember my mother telling me that since I was very young, I liked being by myself. She would recall how I used to wander about even if I didn’t know the place; such as when I was a child in California, walking by the ocean, or going to the Santa Monica Beach giant Ferris wheel; or strolling around Lake Isabella; or exploring the Coachella Valley; or hiking in the San Gabriel Mountains. I remember Yosemite National Park and Redwood National and State Parks as being my favorite places to explore; or as a young adult taking an educational trip to Brazil. What an amazing sight as Christ the Redeemer outstretched his arms and welcomed me! Was I really there? Paraguay… Uruguay, the amazing Las Cataratas del Iguazu… misting underneath those magnificent waterfalls… Buenos Aires, Argentina; and this trip I took to Alaska, along with the white water rafting trips to the Salmon River in Idaho and the Rogue River in Oregon; the parasailing at South Padre Island; running amid the exotic new sounds of the wild birds of the Amazon Jungle; and then up to the Hollywood sign. Did I mention sitting atop Marley’s favorite rock in his hometown Nine Mile, Jamaica? I heard his truthful, reggae music feed my soul as I paid my respects at his Mausoleum.
 
As I grew, I just had this amazing curiosity, and I’d sit outside my house at night and gaze at the stars. There was Pleiades (in Greek mythology, the seven daughters of the Titan Atlas and the Oceanid Pleione who were pursued by the hunter Orion until Zeus changed them into a cluster of stars), Aries, Pegasus, Draco, Ursa Minor and Major, Leo, Aquila in the West, Gemini, and Hercules in the Northwest. I always have loved learning about everything, from why a mosquito buzzes to why I am here, science, fiction, history, biographies, and nonfiction accounts. I should’ve taken a video of that caterpillar’s cocoon. With my own eyes, I saw it metamorphosing into an amazing butterfly. It was a clear sunny day in my backyard, and I was just walking up to the palm tree to water it. I noticed the cocoon, I walked up to it, and — wow — the butterfly burst forth. “Let me out. I’m out of here, and I’m gonna fly.” (Did I mention it was about the same time I told my ex to leave? I had to fly alone from here on out.) I wanted no burdens. The past was just that, and I was that butterfly!
 
Anything that I can read, grasp, and write, I will remember it and attempt to find its meaning later. Dr. Kelly has been writing somewhat of a self-help book, yet she has some trepidations about this. She loves God. She knows that we are all interconnected, yet she doesn’t quite know how to put this all together in a book. She doesn’t want to step on any toes, yet she knows that she must write. She is evolving and healing daily. 
 
One of her favorite affirmations is “I am ever-evolving into a greater expression of my divine self.” She reads from one of her favorite books devoted to scripture: God created me in the divine image, with spiritual qualities such as love, peace, and kindness. When I think, speak, and act in ways that reflect these qualities, I am fulfilling my God-given potential. Evolution, by definition, is a gradual process of growth. I have patience with myself if I feel I am not making progress quickly enough. Even when I perceive that I am moving backward, I am evolving. Like an arrow that draws back before propelling forward, all the mistakes I make and setbacks that I experience are pushing me forward. I learn from my experiences and consciously participate in my own evolution. I am ever evolving into a greater expression of my divine self. (Daily Word, Evolve, March 21, 2017) 
 
A voice beyond all earthly realms of evolution intones in her ear: But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. — Ephesians 4:15
 
Dr. Kelly turns back to writing her book: My last Alaskan trip was an amazing journey of self-discovery (again). On my last leg flying toward my destination, I met this wonderful man who listened to my story of how anxious I felt, being that I had just had LASIK surgery. No, it wasn’t needed, or looking back now, years later, perhaps it was. I had chosen to have it, so I could read without reading glasses. I did not weigh options. I did not ask a lot of questions (nor did they explain how it would be). I just had the surgery, and two weeks later, I was to meet my sister and brother-in-law in Seattle on our way to our Alaskan cruise.
 
Mother Nature intervened, and I missed the cruise ship. I felt so alone. As I took plane after plane, I felt nauseous, nervous, and I felt so lost. I remember sitting as I waited for the plane to Juneau when I noticed him looking at me (or did I notice him?) We struck up a conversation, and I asked where he was going. He nonchalantly said, “I’m going on my third 2,400-mile kayak trip down the Bering Sea.” And I’m nervous and scared, I thought. 
 
We continued to chat, and right before we boarded the plane, I asked how he dealt with those lonely nights out in the uncharted wilderness (I was actually asking him about myself). He looked at me and said, “I remember the scriptures and how God promises us we’re never alone…” 
 
We boarded. I took my seat, and only then did it dawn on me that this man had been a gift from Heaven, a reminder from up high. (Could he have been an angel that day?) We exchanged our information as he sat in his assigned seat and I in mine. The memories of the Bering Sea and the snow-capped mountains are forever etched in my soul.
 
As I got back home to Texas after my cruise, I got a package in the mail. “Ray really wanted you to read his book,” his wife wrote, “if you want to order more all the proceeds go to the children of Nepal.” All I could do was smile and thank the Lord above. I knew about kindred spirits and that I would come back stronger after this trip, but I didn’t think I’d hear directly from Heaven. Or had I? 
 
That was not the end of my interconnectedness during this trip. As I flew back after a week of amazing discoveries in Alaska, tasting the crisp air, gazing enchantingly at the northern star, and fully enveloping all that is Alaska, I sat with a young man (about twentyseven) who seemed willing to chat. He shared his story of having just come back from a physical therapist conference in Chicago and how he was learning all he could “to better himself and help his family.” 
 
I shared my stories about Alaska. He was young, handsome, and already a doctor in his field. We continued chatting, and to both our amazement, he was my aunt’s physical therapist. “What? My aunt who lives in Roma?” I will never forget his words as we boarded off the plane. “You captivate me,” he said. “You are intriguing. Are you a teacher or a writer?” 
 
I smiled. I knew I had to finally put down into words what I have been told all along. “You have a gift. You should continue writing. Just do it. You seem mysterious, yet warm and you have something to offer. Publish those poems you have. Share your wisdom.” 
 
She falls asleep. The computer doesn’t.


© Copyright 2019 isabel garcia. All rights reserved.

Chapters

Add Your Comments:

More Religion and Spirituality Books