Honestly

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 21, 2018

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Submitted: July 21, 2018

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Honestly

The older I get the less I have to say

On my best days 

I wish I could fade into the landscape

On the worst ones

The landscape spits me back out 

I surround myself with others who don’t share this problem

No one stares at the bird who can’t sing if she’s surrounded by a forest

Honestly

People know me as the smiling girl 

They don’t know that the smile is a stencil

Shaded carefully with a number two pencil

An excuse to just stand there and look happy

I don’t have to be me if I’m smiling

Honestly

My most embarrassing memories from my youth 

All exist because I opened my big fat mouth

Innocence unbridled rolling down a red carpet tongue

Wearing my sunflower seed thoughts as fodder for ravens

My voice: a birthmark a speak out loud

Honestly

Opinions speak louder than words

Watercolor sirens melting together drown out

The sound of a dying bird

Honestly

Being honest is hard for me

Is like wearing my skin inside out

Slipping my arms into the sleeves of bright orange, yellow, pink, corduroy, turtle neck, hand-me-downs 

And why do I care what the zeros think?

Honestly

Woe is me

I enjoy the feeling of lonely

It’s far better than feeling empty

You see

They are not quite the same although they try to be

Crying at night and again the next morning is lonely 

Empty is a hollow oak tree

So dead that not even termites can breathe

Honestly

It takes a lot to be me

Maybe that’s why it’s worth it

Possibly


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