What I wished I’d known sooner

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 30, 2018

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Submitted: July 30, 2018

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Nothing hurts worse, not even trying with the wrong person 

Than trying with a man who has no potential 

Who with

You have no interest 

 

This

Is something you must learn on your own 

After day dreaming about the one who could’ve been while they were so far out of reach 

You must learn that until the magic is found again 

The only thing you’ll feel while you’re intimate is the emptiness of emotions 

The lack of feeling and complete and utter sucking of happiness 

 

It comes from deep within all of the inner workings of your mind 

Your body rejecting it

What once felt like pleasure

Now feels like a coating of paint 

Only covering the surface of what is chipped and broken beneath 

 

So you stay hiding, avoiding the addiction and feeling the pain of withdrawals from the attention 

From the complete and total surgical precision that you took to become what you believed 

Was what your love, the stupid loss you’ve been feeling, wanted. 

 

We cannot get over love so quickly 

We cannot push it away and stop feeling the emotion once they have left and gone

To pursue new devotions 

 

We must build ourselves with love and compassion

Not love for another but love for our own interests, our own actions 

Until we can feel content with who we are

Content with being alone

And in love with ourselves, our passions, and our drive 

How can we ever love someone truly

When not even ourselves can see inside our own minds. 

 


© Copyright 2018 Samanthamlim. All rights reserved.

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