Kaleidoscope Heart

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 30, 2018

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Submitted: July 30, 2018

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Kaleidoscope Heart I stare up at the sky in the middle of the morning's night, hoping that the stars I see are shining down on me for hope and serenity. I wish upon every star for that one light to shine in my life to show me that everything will be alright, but instead I have to settle for cloudy skies, dim LEDs, and satellites where there used to be piles of cosmic dust that were shaped into the very image that so many boys and girls would make wishes on. The epitome of what it's like to deal with a heart that's more giving than the giving tree. My heart has the tendency to create illusions that are fanciful and full of hope. I have Discernment* in my spirit and my mind is impregnable, but my heart sees lies, greed, and iniquity and only wants to die for your sins the same way that Jesus did. I tend to never care about your true intentions because at any point in time, my love is the invention that granted pension to set yourself free. I have the need to love. Intuitively and unconditionally. I have the need to be able to give the Agape* love that God placed in our lives and I know that I have the possibility to, but the issue comes in when your discomforts become my own and your burdens mine as well, but any of my own grievances were secrets that I only told myself. My happiness was sabotaged so I wouldn't dare invest in it because it was ruined from the beginning. My dark times were librarians, and any conversation I'd have outside the vocal range of a thought to myself, would end up with me crucified on a cross of my self esteem and Lord knows I had no room in my psyche for another scar. My love consumes me. Almost as much as the consumption of the #1 fast food restaurant of the world; However, I don't serve billions every day, nor do I even know a billion people. Maybe about 9, and a half if you consider the Trust Issues* I have, but I digress, I was surrounded by a very strict dysfunctional loving family, and that's why my love is crazy. Because throughout all the times that made me feel as though this family was the worst, there was some part of it all that meant love was present. So much like a kaleidoscope, my heart sees the truth often, but because I've seen so much negativity, silver lining’s luster become so much more illustrious when you're used to the darkness. Despite the pain, it took me some time to realize that the storm brought nothing but a blessed rain. The colors of love pour out in heavenly bliss never in part but in whole. It's the product of my Kaleidoscope Heart.


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