Forgiveness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 31, 2018

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Submitted: July 31, 2018

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Forgiveness

 

1.

 

I forgive you.

 

I say it like a mantra,

an affirmation.

 

I am for you.

I give to you.

 

Even though you

do not have the capacity

to accept what I am

offering.

 

And, truthfully,

I do not have the capacity

to handle what I think I

want.

 

2.

 

I forgive me.

 

I say it like a mantra,

an affirmation.

 

I am for me.

I give myself

a break.

 

I am for second chances.

I give myself time.

 

To learn the rules,

to break the ones that

do not serve me,

to create ones

no one else can follow.

 

3.

 

I forgive you.

 

I forgive you

for telling me that loving me

is not how your religion works.

 

I forgive you for telling me that

touching is not allowed.

 

I forgive you for not knowing

that intimacy is something I’ve

gone too long without.

 

4.

 

I forgive me.

 

For not admitting that Intimacy is something

 I’ve needed. I’ve gone so long without it,

I convinced myself it was unnecessary.

 

I forgive you for showing me otherwise.

 

Forgive me for thinking I could change your mind.

 

5.

 

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

 

You were not wrong,

Neither was I.

 

I forgive you,

for being better than them,

but still not enough.

 

I forgive them for setting such

a high standard.

 

I forgive you all for showing me

how, I, myself, didn’t measure up.

 

6.

 

 

I forgive me.

 

I am for being okay.

I give myself permission

to admit when it’s not.

 

It’s not okay.

 

It’s not okay.

It’s not okay.

It’s not okay.

 

It’s. not. okay.

 

It’s not okay to not have your needs met.

It’s worse to not admit you have them.

 

I forgive you for not being mind readers.

 

I forgive myself for holding on

too tightly when I should

have let go.

 

I forgive myself for thinking I had you in the first place.

 

You always belonged to yourselves.

 

7.

 

I forgive myself

for refusing to look at my own reflection.

 

I’m all for serious conversations,

accept for when they’re seriously about me,

and the things that I am not facing.

 

I promise I will look at her.

There is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

She does not love too much,

or laugh too loudly,

speak too quickly,

or move too slowly.

 

She moves at her own pace.

She has always belonged to herself.

 

I have always belonged to myself.

 

I forgive myself for thinking I could belong to anyone else.

 

8.

 

I forgive myself.

 

I am for releasing.

I give myself the ability to know

when the time is right.

 

I am ready now.

 

You are ready now,

to move on.

 

I am ready to let them go.

 

They have been waiting for you to see

that You do not

need them,

 

Anymore.

 

They are so glad you

 

Understand.

 

They promise,

Others will come.

 

They were helping you get ready.

 

You are ready now.

 

 

9.

 

I am ready now.

 

I hope the Others will forgive me.

 

Or better yet,

Never ask me to apologize.

 

When I speak,

They will put their ears

to my chest.

 

They will ask to love my rhythms.

I will have the courage to dance.

 


© Copyright 2018 allison baldwin. All rights reserved.

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