My Favorite Goodbye

Reads: 62  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 01, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 01, 2018

A A A

A A A


My favorite goodbye

 

I used to apologize for everything

I used to apologize for apologizing

I used to apologize for smiling 

but then I met you 

then suddenly my skies went from Gray to Blue 

my smile wasn't just for me

it was also for you 

and my heart beat for one 

but quickened at two 

and I wasn't sorry 

 

I learned to be thankful 

at my lowest of lows 

I learned that a beam of sunlight 

could make happiness grow

I learned rainbows really do come after rain 

and that its okay that I've lived in pain 

I learned to be thankful for the times that I've hurt 

and I've picked up myself 

and I've brushed off the dirt 

and I thank you

Thank you

 

Today I heard sunlight 

and I know how that sounds 

like Madness attracted crazy in my down

but I heard it 

it was like a symphony playing on repeat in my head

like I Found the courage to get out of bed 

and I heard it 

it was the sweetest song that I have ever known 

and I felt electricity flow through my bones 

I found a smile in the mirror that greeted me warmly

and I said fuck you to my depression 

without any warning 

because I heard it

 

I felt a flicker in the chasm in my chest

like the shell of a person 

had awoken from rest

I felt alive for the first time I can remember 

and I reflected on every mistake since I met her

 

That depression

 

that person that pretended to be me 

you saw right through it 

no matter how sweet she could be

and I remember that time you swept me off my feet

 

I remember for a moment I swear I could feel 

 

...but you didn't believe that my smiles were real 

they weren't..

And I'm sorry 

and I tried to feel 

but I didn't 

 

I remember that time I felt my heart beat 

and she hated it 

so she broke it and threw it at your feet 

and blamed me 

 

but I killed her 

 

I didn't torture her like she did me

I said goodbye sweetly

and listen to the rustle of the breeze 

through the leaves on the trees 

and in this sweet silence I met

My heartbeat 

It echoed like canyons

And she couldn't stop it

as she shot off her cannons

She didn't win 

Though I let her try

And she hasn't given up 

And I don't know why

But I know all her tricks 

Like the back of my hand

And that bitch won't win

Even if she thinks that she can

Because today I woke up 

And I felt a flicker 

In the chasm of my chest 

And it's only getting bigger

And I thank you


© Copyright 2018 JessicaGoodrow. All rights reserved.