My True Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

I will always remain a mystery no one will every solve it. Everything that I have been through has affected me in so many ways. I’m not the person I want to be but I’m the person that came out of
all of my experiences.

Submitted: August 01, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 01, 2018




My life story the negatives. 


I’ve always been a child of unhappiness.


Things happened to me as I grew up. It was as if something took over me personally as the many events occurred. 


  One day on a family visit to an aunts house I was molested at a young age I remember the tall black man who showed me his penis who taught me what the white stuff was as I laid there on the bottom bunk. 


As I grew older life was at its best then boom uncle Richard went to jail. That was when someone else entered my body. Someone whom I call Suzy. She embodies me and gives me emotions that I hate to express. All I want is to be happy. I became abusive to my family members I begin to fight in school a lot. 


Once again I was raped. That night I was scared and shocked. Like should I have seen this coming all those nights when I felt little caresses on my ass? I should have flipped when his fingers inserted my ass. I should have flipped when he turned me over and pulled down my panties, I should have flipped when I felt him pulling his pants down, and I should have flipped when he forced himself inside of me. But I didn’t I laid there and took it as I pretended I was asleep. He took something that I wanted to save. Till this day I wonder do I have something cause the day at the clinic to get a check up they declined me and I never went to get myself checked out again could I be walking around with something that has yet to show symptoms or do I have it and didn’t notice the symptoms. Could I blame my mom is it her fault? What if she was home the night this happened? What if she didn’t give up and fought for me? Would he be in jail or on the pervert list? What if he got me pregnant I thank god so much for protecting my future. I told everyone that I didn’t feel anything I don’t know anything. But it was a mistake a big one. I have to live with the thought of this shit every boy who wants me probably won’t get pass just being friends. All because that pervert couldn’t control his hormones. 


It hurts me. Who the hell was there to protect me. Nobody. Idk what my dads thoughts were at all. But I know he was pissed  All I know is that all I kept thinking was what uncle Richard. What would he do with this news. That’s when I stopped giving a fuck. I gained so much weight I looked like a hot air balloon I was so fat. I was made fun of because of my weight never because of my looks. The boys adored my pretty light brown eyes and my pretty light skin face. But my attitude got to them and they no longer adored me they disliked me. Every week I got in a fight because I let them get the best of me. And I finally learned my lesson I got on my shit and begin to get honor roll, I tried out for dance, I stopped giving a fuck and just let shit go. I lost all that weight. I look badder then ever. The same boys came in my inbox’s letting me know how good I looked. I kindly said thank you and that was that. No need to hold a grudge. 


However I met this one person I didn’t know that this person would be the first love of my life. This person has put me through hell and back and we still found out way around all that shit I thought we would have lasted till we died. But things changed and so did we i have never in my life been so freaking heart broken I couldn’t risk this person being with someone else doing everything that we had planned to do as time went by. I was hurting I told this person that I could be their friend no nothing. It was my way of preventing any knowledge of another in my spot. We have taught and learned from one another and it has sometimes pushed me but it has Also brought me back down. 


Me I suffer emotionally. I’m depressed and bi polar the doctors don’t see it because in front of them I’m cool calm and collected. But behind them I’m a whole another side. I’ve been admitted to the children’s psych ward twice the first time 3 days the second more. The first time I tried to commit suicide my mother walked in on me gathering as many pills as I could grab. I was going to take them. all of them i didn’t wanna be alive I didn’t wanna feel the emotions that took over my body.  I felt bad because my mother felt bad she felt like she wasn’t a good mother and she is one of the best. I couldn’t have asked for a better one. The second time I just needed to be away from the world and have some time to think about what I want to do in mine. My mom even brought me a puppy  to help with all this. but that failed when she told me it wasn’t just my dog and she let her girlfriend take him from me and turn him against me. 


Again I am A teenage girl who has quite a few problems I’ve had my fair share of mistakes but I regret not one of them because I’ve learned from them. I’m not perfect. I am just me I am a teenage girl with a lot of problems. We all have problems and these are mine. 


© Copyright 2018 Dasia.martin. All rights reserved.

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