Let's Get Real

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 02, 2018

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Submitted: August 02, 2018




Let’s Get Real

I have spent decades nodding my head and conversing with well paid professionals; but have never shared the real story. I feel as if I have kept a secret and talked around my true situation. All signs point to what has happened. Obsessions with cleanliness, constant feelings of being ugly and an ever present sadness that surrounds me.

I don’t associate pain with the incident; so I have never made the connection. My current way of life is quiet but much less joyful that it has the potential to be. I keep a safe distance from everyone; even my friends. They refer to me as considerate and generous but I struggle with affection.

In my adult life, I have been unable to have any form of  a functional relationship. It's as if I have been with the same person over and over again. Each of them controlling and insecure. If challenged, they attack using whatever means possible; which equates to emotional blackmail. I have to stay away from people now; I no longer trust my ability to separate the men from the devils.

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