My Truth

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 05, 2018

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Submitted: August 05, 2018

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Rape

It’s uncomfortable to speak it into existence

To call it what it is

I know it’s real though cause I mourned it

For three days

I simultaneously woke with the flu

Blessed with an escape

Three days of solitude to cry, cry so big in my pain

My whole lower back was completely blown out,

I thought I was going to rot in that bed and die

When I got home I wanted to sit in the shower,

On the floor of the tub like the movies 

But I was so sick I could barley remain conscious

Instead I took off all my clothes, wrapped my naked and tainted body into a robe

I dropped my body into my bed to sleep off its trauma

I woke a couple hours later, but it didn’t go away

I am a female and just by that identity I’ve become vulnerable,

Being a woman who was previously assaulted

Has statistically made me more likely to be attacked again

The stats are correct, I can’t deny 

I was proud of myself before for identifying the panic,

The flash in my head like a siren 

The signal to get out, speak up, your voice I demanded,

I was able to target my attack, this time, for once 

But ohh the heartbreak that followed 

My heart sunk so deep its still dropping

And I can’t find it anywhere on the floor to pickup

I gave up the fight, dropped my arms, and closed my mouth

To his voice lingering the words in my ear “I respectfully decline”

And just like that he started fucking me

I hadn't even been there long enough to take off my coat,

I couldn’t wear my coat for a week, I felt sick looking at it 

I had to force myself to detach the meaning

And put it on my back even when it made me flinch and pit my stomach

Each time I wore it until all those side affects disappeared 

I knew him

He called me princess 


© Copyright 2018 Jacquelyn.Smith. All rights reserved.

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