The Moment

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 06, 2018

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Submitted: August 06, 2018

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The Moment

I was 22 years old, finished college and printed a resume. I had a few interviews set up and was desperate to acquire employment; as to avoid the barrage of questions from my parents which I could not answer. In the short term, I was living at home. Despite what you are told, once you have lived away from home; it is very difficult to return. You are always a bit of a burden and a stranger when you come back.

As we approached our senior year, my roommates had paired up with significant others. I found it surprising that these young women were so eager to settle down when they had spent the last four years attaining a degree which would insure an independent lifestyle. I had entered college with a promise ring and a young man who was the one for me. Tall, athletic, intelligent and kind; he was the real deal. He attended a college close by and we had plans.

As a freshmen, he realized he was a little fish in a big pond. His brilliance appeared less so within the highly competitive classes he was assigned to. He was no longer the star of the basketball team; just a bench warmer who was rarely called upon. These facts were devastating for him and he lost his confidence and his authentic smile. For me, I was elated with this new sense of freedom. I worked out twice a day, drank whiskey sours and tried everything. I was happy and felt as if I was in my stride. I suppose that was the beginning of the end for us. After a few months I had given his ring back; thinking things between us had faded. I was likely confusing his depression about school with his feelings for me. As the months passed our conversations and meetings became more awkward; our roles had reversed.

As the excitement of the first year subsided our connection disappeared. Over the college years we kept in touch sporadically. He eventually found his place and I became a bit unsettled. Seeking others with the same qualities was impossible despite the abundance of alcohol and blaring music. By the time we entered our final year we were both nearly in the place we had begun; although not together. I had always hoped that college would have given me the skills to counteract the insecure feelings I had struggled with; but this could not be found in my coursework.

We met one last time. I had softened and he was as kind as I had always remembered. He spent hours trying to tell me something; but too thoughtful to utter the words until the very end of the visit. At the doorstep he quietly stated that he had “met someone”. Which meant he was in love with someone; who was not me. I understood exactly what he had meant and we politely hugged and said “good bye”. It has been many years but I remember this scene as if it happened yesterday. That very moment, when love walked out the door never to return.


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