No clarity

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


Do you feel unclear in life? Do you feel you're alone? Then read this.

Submitted: August 07, 2018

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Submitted: August 07, 2018

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I don’t write this for attention, more simply because I wanted to write something, honest. I do feel that I’m lonely but this is not a plea for friends or support. Naturally, I’m usually alone in feelings and understanding in my life. People are so consumed in their own life problems they can’t even notice me, which is a good thing in it’s own way. But on occasion it is nice for somebody to fully feel you and understand. Yeah, not like anyone really cares but I haven’t really wrote anything in such a long time, it’s sad I know. Throughout the recent years I’ve searching for my purpose without activity, more just looking inwards. Honestly, I’m kind of forced into kind of thing because nobody takes me the way I need. Some people close enough to me would see I’m just going nowhere in life but they don’t seem to not notice what holds me back, what keeps me anchored. I got judged for things they don’t understand. I get judged for things that I feel is right for my life. Unless you do things the traditional way people have in their heads criticism is always going to be present. As I get older the less I care about what people want for me. I care more about what I want for me. It’s not selfish, it’s just simply wanting more from life, the kind of stuff that makes me happy. I’ll be depressed if I had to live life the way somebody else wants me to, I think. I write this article not to be perfect but express also what’s in my head. Beliefs in the past can always change, yet some stay the same. I’m in the now and don’t remember what I said in the past when it comes to writing online. Anyways, continuing on, there’s basic things I do know what I want but there’s no greater clearly defined road to take or purpose. I do know that I want plenty of money and traveling, but it’s not enough. There many, many ideas to achieve that, except how am I supposed to know the right one. One thing is that I’m not big on having a job, it’s so much like slavery, people don’t understand that. They’re stuck at a job they hate simply to survive, but in the long run it’s killing their health. I want a live a happy life with money and my girlfriend, it’s simple. But I spend so much freaking time searching for answers that aren’t there. I easily grow tired of looking and find no clarity. Often times I feel defeated and go into comfort mode, so comfortable in fact it’s unhealthy. That’s not who I want to be. I know it’s better to do something with your time, like the small things, but what are the small things without the bigger things in life.


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