Reads: 53  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Just imagine the basic tears and laughs that occur every day. Then be ready for some crazy batshit happenings.

Submitted: August 08, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 08, 2018




Life in The Raw

Short Short Stories

Nicholas Cochran




Eva reports that Romanee had been married at least three times before and all three husbands took the last train to the coast via some rather peculiar means. Sounds like a female Ted Bundy from here.

Eva and Terry are working together to see if they can piece together multiple charges against Romanee. I can understand the first guy not having a clue that he was about to get hooked up with one very strange woman. But what about the next two? Why don't they check out the their spouse-to-be before they start up the stairs to the altar or whatever they have in Reno.


Now it appears that Romanee had a new sucker waiting in the wings. One Garland Buggs. Garland, it turns out, according to Terry, is a four-time loser and has spent most of his life in either Q or Folsom. What's wrong with these women? Why don't they check this out before they get involved with these guys?

The District Attorney now thinks that they have more than enough to salt Romanee away for a good many years. They have been trying to reach Garland. However the Buggs-man has booked. There is an APB out on him. Wow. I’m I'm even afraid to talk to Eva anymore about this case. Who knows what next really bizarre kooky  bombshell is going to show up surrounding Miss Romanee and her past spouses let alone what the Buggs man maybe into?

 I think it would be nice to have just a nice simple T-Bone to work on.



Well I'm not sure if this isn't a case of out of ‘The Frying Pan into the Fire’. This guy, name unknown to this point, contacted us from jail. Whoa!  So hold on to this one.

This guy says he was a passenger in a vehicle in an accident back on November 10th. There was another passenger, a female in the passenger seat as well. All three individuals apparently were all drunk and driving along a country road somewhere between Oakville and Carmel.

Although he was drunk and lounging about in the backseat, apparently the client was thrown through the windshield and landed from the car. The woman in the passenger seat died. Don’t know how she died and our Mr. Nameless flew out the front through the windshield and lived. Something screwy here. Usually, it’s the front passenger who gets propelled through the windshield. But there were airbags. Hers might have saved her at first but if she was really drunk she could have suffocated. We’ll wait for the toxicology reports to see what happened to the driver.

Our guy was life-flighted to Doctors medical facility in Corona. He had some extremely bad injuries including a skull fracture on both sides of his head. He also says that he had some pins in his leg and his shins. He isn't sure if they were broken or not.

To me, it seems to indicate that either he's not the sharpest blade in the drawer or he was so drunk he really did just fly out the window/windshield. Now I’m not sure. We better check to see which window he went out as opposed to going out the windshield. He says he doesn't even know exactly how long he was in the hospital. He added that he also suffers from short term memory loss. Hmmmm.


On the driver, anything he says he isn’t sure because he was drunk. Oh well. We contacted the CHP about him and we’re still waiting.


Yeah, our guy thinks he's in jail on charges of manslaughter. I asked Jenny if she got everything nailed down as being, well, actual facts?  For example: he thinks that he is now being charged with vehicular manslaughter. Even though he wasn't driving. He says he doesn't know why he's being charged as the driver of the vehicle.

To be honest, nothing he says really makes sense or adds up nor is there a report yet. It sounds like the CHP are charging both guys with vehicular manslaughter because they can’t figure out which one really was driving. I can’t understand this at all. How could two guys be charged with driving? And which window did our guy fly out? I can hardly wait to see what this report is like. Probably like a Twilight Zone on Police paper  


Well, a guy from the police just came by to talk to us.  His name is Jason Small. Bad name for this guy. He looks bigger than Hulk Hogan standing on a chair. Course I didn't have (nor did anybody else) the courage to ask just how tall he was. Or what he weighed. It's hard to tell if it's all muscle because he didn't have his uniform on and just was wearing a polo shirt outside some shorts.

He looked at me like he could probably kill all of us in about 3 seconds if he wanted to. But he's a really nice guy and felt terrible about the sketchy report that he has done about this whole incident.

He tells me that it will be ready tomorrow and if he can’t bring it by himself he will send over a Deputy called Dolly Structure with it. Now there's a name.

At any rate, I asked Jason why they thought our client was driving when he says he was drunk in the back seat? Him in the back seat and the female who died was the front seat passenger who went through the windshield; or did she? This beginning to chafe my butt.


It turns out that the car was stolen. Oh, great. By whom, we just don't know yet. It also turns out that the trunk had 5 kilos of marijuana in it. Oh great, again.

However, as Jason pointed out, it's going to be even tougher to figure out who the marijuana belongs to, and was it owned by our guy, our driver, or the owner of the stolen car? Geez, maybe the female projectile owned it. So far, they have a stolen car but can't really say it was stolen by any of the three in our particular vehicle.

As you can see, this is becoming more and more like Kafka in Wonderland down the rabbit hole.


The owner of the vehicle has been contacted. He is also in jail. But get this, he went to jail 3 days before our guy was in this accident. What a mess. And the owner of the car by the way was on parole and is probably on his way back to San Quentin. So I guess the odds are that he didn’t own the Mary Jane. So who does it belong to and, of course, the continuing question for Jason is: who stole the car?

It would seem natural that the driver was the one who stole the car because the passengers were drunk. I know of course, that the driver was also drunk. But still it makes more sense that he stole the car than the other two. Then there's the question of where this car was stolen from.  Our client is absolutely no help on this question either. All he can remember is drinking innumerable beers at a bar on San Pablo Dam Road. I think I know the one he means. Not exactly the Top of the Mark.


Jason called to say that he found some witnesses at the Bar on Dam Road and they are positive that the driver is the one who got into the vehicle. I guess they mean the one that got behind the wheel. Jason said the client and a couple of other witnesses weren't sure whether the driver unlocked the vehicle or if it was if it was open. For all we know he may be a friend of the owner. If that's the case then that means that the marijuana could very well belong to the driver who was either transporting it or holding it for the guy who's on the way to Quentin. I think I need to take a little rest from this. Either that or have a couple of beers myself.


Well, as if things couldn't get any weirder. It turns out that the woman’s name, if you can believe it, is Ellteaser Flunder. Apparently, she just arrived from Latvia and was the first of many young women lined up by the driver of the car to form a sex ring.

Wow. I wonder if there is any end to all of this. Poor thing. It was our guy who shot through the windshield for a hundred feet and he's alive and poor Ellteaser apparently died of a broken neck while peacefully sitting drunk in the front seat. Now this raises some more questions. First: how did our client get past the dead woman and out the windshield? Jason is asking forensics and anyone else on the force to check the other windows in the car. Maybe the back seat windows were open and our guy just handily happened to be catapulted through his side window. Whew.

Oh yeah, the other question according to Jason: Did our client have anything to do with sex trafficking.?

Robert has moved to help on this case. As we all know, Robert is a whiz about all things on the Deep or the Black net; choose whatever. The main thing is though that Robert is determined to see if there is anything relating to our case humming around in the nether regions of those seamy areas. Robert has also volunteered to go and see our client and talk to the District Attorney about the fact that our client wasn't driving.

Robert managed to quickly get a name for our client and it is Clyde. Well Clyde the Glide is definitely up to his eyeballs in any number of piles of crap. Or I suppose you could say up any number of creeks without even one paddle. However, our guy is going to tell Robert everything and anything he knows about any sex ring and so we look forward to his report.


Well well, Robert says our client is a disbarred accountant or whatever they do with accountants. He had just left a dictionary selling group in La Jolla and was hitchhiking when the driver whose name he thinks is Salvatore gave him a ride. I think that's the name on the report too.

When Salvatore picked him up, he told him that he had to go and pick up another person. Clyde wasn’t going anywhere in particular and so he waited so he could get a ride.  Somewhere around Paso Robles they picked up Ellteaser. He doesn't remember exactly where but that it was definitely not in the better part of town. He also remembers that at the time he had not been drinking. Clyde got out of the car to stretch his legs. Salvatore got out of the car to go and pick up Ellteaser.

Clyde says he looked in one of the windows. Inside there were about 12 other women all sitting in a row talking. He also says that they appeared to be linked together in some way with either a string or rope or something like that. He says he made a point to himself to tell the police about this at his first opportunity. He has now done that by the way. He gave all his information and descriptions and all to Jason. Jason apparently acted on this information and had the Paso Robles people go and raid this house and sure enough there were at least 14 young women from some of the Baltic countries in there in a terrible state of filth and bad health.  

Jason said that he would do everything he could to lighten whatever load Clyde has to carry in this whole mess but still to this point even Jason isn't quite sure if there is anything at all that our client is guilty of. He means to check out the shocking story of Paso Robles as well as what Clyde told him from the La Jolla end. I gave him the name of a restaurant that Clyde had eaten in as well as a motel he stayed overnight in before he started back thumbing on the road and was picked up by Salvatore.

I think this is going to be one of those cases that is going to linger, to say the least, before we get any real resolution out of the criminal matters or Clyde's simple matter.

Jason’s report clearly shows that the other car was in our lane at the time of the collision and not just barely in the lane but entirely in the lane. The driver of that car a 90 year old woman who was apparently high on meth and even though she had four dogs and three grandchildren in the back seat at 11 at night somehow managed to get into our lane and cause a collision.

So now there's another wrinkle to this bizarre occurrence. I personally think it's about as much as I can put in here at the moment but it's not going away because we have all these loose ends to tie up.

End of Volume Seven.

© Copyright 2018 Nicholas Cochran. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More Other Short Stories