JUST TRUST ME

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Review Chain


Capgras delusion is a psychiatric disorder in which a person holds a delusion that a friend, spouse, parent, or other close family member (or pet) has been replaced by an identical impostor. And in
this story, it's cause by paranoid schizophrenia.

Submitted: August 12, 2018

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Submitted: August 12, 2018

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The wooden closet is closed trapping the blackness. The blue light inside, is only making the atmosphere worst. She slowly opens it's door. She looks outside. The room is empty, lighted with sunlight.


[ My life filled with chaos, years ago. When some persons started to take the form of my family and friends. Take their faces.


These bad guys intend to harm me. They don't come always, but most of the time. And somehow, only I can identify them. ]


She slowly comes out of the closet. Suddenly, she hears a knock at the room's door. She looks at the door with frightened eyes. She waits for a while.


Then, another knock hits the door. She slowly gets inside the closet.


[ And this anothers only come as my close ones. It's so depressing, when I want to be with them. But some strangers waits there to hurt me. When I can't trust the ones I deeply want to. ]


"So, you are not coming out", he says from outside.


"NO, NO, NO", she shouts, "I KNOW YOUR NOT HIM."


"So who am I? TELL ME", he keeps a harshness in his voice.


She hits her head against the closet's wall, "I DON'T KNOW. AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW."


[ Why does anyone need to come as him? I don't want to be away from him. Be in this situation. So alone and lost, and confused. ]


_


He stands beside the door angrily. The clock is busy doing the 'tick - tock'. He gives the clock a sharp look.


He keeps the disturbance on his face, "It's been three hours. Stop this drama now."


"PLEASE GO AWAY."


[ This girl, troubles everyone around her. Is it necessary to throw eveyone in depression?


How much it hurts, when you want to be with someone and she locks herself in the room. She doesn't understand this feeling. This impatience, this ruined state inside my heart. To wait outside at someone's door. ]


He angrily knocks again, "Why do you think, I'm not him?"


"BECAUSE HE IS KIND, GENTLE AND LOVES ME. HE IS THE GOOD ONE", she cries out.


He exhales in frustration, "Stop torturing me. I'm tired of it."


"SO GO AWAY. AND LEAVE ME ALONE."


He keeps the depressed look, "Let's make it clear, for once at least."


She cries, "I'm totally clear. Your not him. And I don't trust you."


He stands with a heavy heart, "Okay. Then stop crying at least. It disturbingly hurts."


[ What is the meaning of this? I want to love you and you can't even trust me?


It's so frustrating. I want to be with you, help you. But you always push me away. Don't want to believe me. It hurts, when you love someone. And she thinks you want to hurt her.


It's so lonely to keep yourself away from the one you love. ]


He knocks again, "Just trust me once. I am, the good one."


"NO. NEVER. IF YOU ARE NOT? I DON'T WANT TO TRUST ANYONE EXPECT HIM."


He frustratingly smiles, "If? Your not sure. So, at least try to trust me. It can be that, I'm the good one."


"BUT YOU CAN ALSO BE THE BAD ONE."


He takes a deep breathe in, "This is completely nonsense. This way, you can't trust anyone. And everyone around you, everyone you love, will leave you. They'll be tired of you."


"WHY?" She stops crying.


He smiles, "Because they are also humans. They even want to be with you. Not to be treated like this. No one is forced to be with you. So they'll go away. Like your family did."


He realizes that he said something wrong. He waits for a while. She also keeps the silence.


She softy says, "But you didn't."


He smiles happily, "So you trust me?"


She changes her tone, "NO. I MEAN HE DIDN'T."


He disappoints hearing this. He waits outside with a broken heart.


He looks up at the ceiling. The room is getting dark. The sun outside is drowning. Maybe with the same frustration as he is in.


He becomes impatient, "Listen girl, not trusting is another psychological problem."


She breaks into tear, "Why do all of you think that I'm mentally sick? I'm okay. More than you. At least not like you. Trying to hurt someone as a impostor."


He frowns in anger, "Think before you say something. Words hurt more than  thorns. At least, they hurt humans.

She cries in frustration, "I'm also human. I also feel the hurts and the loneliness."


_


She cries, dropping some depressed tears. The room becomes completely red along with the reddish sky.


She is tired shouting and crying. Again she hears a knock at the door.


She angrily looks at the door, "Why don't you give up?"


He says in a soft tone, "If only I can." He smilingly says, "Your confuse. Right?"


She looks at the sky. It's being black.
The crows are returning home. Not wanting to stay in the darkness. Even though, the moon and stars have gentle lights. It's not warm at all.


"Yes", she answers with the sadness.


He keeps the cheerfulness in his voice, "So, the only thing you can do, is trust. Trust is a miracle."


She cleans her crystal eyes, "How?"


He laughs, "If you trust something from the deepest, it won't dare to betray you. But if you don't, your fears will come true."


She confusingly frowns, "If you are not the real one, so trusting you won't make you him."


He smirks, "Then you will understand, that I'm not the bad one. Like I trust you. Always."


[ Does he even think, that I'm another one? But I never wanted to harm him. ]


She hears the sound of keys, key entering the lock.


[ He found the key. What should I do now? ]


The door slowly opens. He comes in smilingly.


The room is empty. Except the darkness. He looks around, but can't find her. The closet is open, but empty.


Cold air is coming from the window. The curtains are flying proudly.


He sits beside the bed. He smirks, "Seriously? Hidding under the blanket, isn't a nice idea at all."


She comes out from the blanket, "But it was last time."


He smiles at her. He looks directly into her eyes, "Listen, you should trust who cares you. And care who trusts you."


She looks away, "But if you are not him?"


He deeply exhales, "Next time, I'll write your name in my hands. So that you can recognize me. Everytime."


She tries to avoid the eye contact.


He gives a frustrated smile, "Listen, first I used to think, that you overreacting. Hurting me, with this not understandings. Leaving me alone."


He looks at her, "But actually, you were alone. Frustrated. For not able to trust the ones you love. For keeping yourself away from all."


"So?", she looks at his eye. His teary eyes are shaking, but not in sadness.


He smiles looking at her, "When you are confuse, trust is your only hope. When you don't know something, you have to relay on your trust."


She frowns at him, "Why should I trust you?"


He exhales, "Because I love you. And I won't break your trust."


She moves back, "But I love him."


He looks away, "Just trust me, one time. You'll find him."


She looks at him. He is depressed.


He stands up, "But if you can't, wait. I'll also wait for you."


She grabs his hand. She holds it tightly. He looks at her. There is a strong desire in her eyes.


She looks at him, "You said you won't break my trust. So, why are you going?"


[ It's always been so depressing. I wanted to trust everyone, from my heart. But couldn't.


It's not like I'm able to do now. But this time, my heart defeated me. Made me understand, that I can trust him.


Maybe because, he is always Caring me. Affectionately, Passionately. Gladly, not as a duty. Respecting and understanding me. Accepting me as I am. Supporting me Delightfully, Expecting nothing in return. Loving me Unconditionally, Smilingly. Illuminating my life, freeing me to have the Openness and understanding my Normality.


He trusts me. So I have to care for it. Trust him. Cause he just loves me. ]


| THE END |


© Copyright 2018 MARIA KUZENARI SHINOHARA. All rights reserved.

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