When I Returned

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


I can't predict the future, for I know only what I'm given. I don't know the effect, I just feel like putting words to wonder.



It's all in good faith. "Purest thoughts of the future."

Submitted: August 16, 2018

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Submitted: August 16, 2018

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When I Returned

 

Think for a moment,

What it takes to make a family.

What it takes to raise and carry,

What it takes to love and marry.

 

Lie awake at night,

That ‘what if’ won’t let go.

Are some things just for show?

Can you love me though,

Without having watched me grow?

 

I want to know we’re thinking the same,

That I am filled with grief and shame,

That I am the one to blame,

And that I love you even without my name.

 

Am I so much different,

To have expected you all these years?

To have shed so many tears,

And part of me that’s never been made clear,

Is only made worse by my fears.

 

I want to take those fears,

And cast them aside.

My uncertainty of you was a lie,

It was all to hide my shaken pride.

But I’m here now to say let’s try.

 

Try?

After all this time,

Reaching out to me as a social media mime?

What you did, you left me on a dime,

The way you left, it’s practically a crime.

 

I’m here to say I love you,

I always have and I always will.

When I left, time stood still.

There was a place in my heart I could never fill,

Something I regretted every day until…

 

...Until what?

 

...Until now.

The chance we never got.

A thing that can’t be bought,

A feeling that is hard fought.

And something I should’ve sought,

Everyday since you were a tot.

 

...I just wanted to know why?

And...

Where was my father when I sang my first song?

Where was my father when everything felt wrong?

Where was my father when the years became too long?

And who was this stranger,

Picking his way through the throng?

 

It was me,

All along.

Back to a place I didn’t belong.

Back to the sight of my last ‘so long.’

And back to the person who kept me strong.

 

Me?

 

You.

I’m asking you of one thing,

And that much is true.

 

Can we sit down and discuss,

The one thing we never had a chance at…

 

Us…



 

I woke up.

And it was a new day.

 


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