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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 19, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 19, 2018




I fell in love with a murderer.

He looked at me as I watched him pick up the body and put it over his shoulder.

He then walked to the fire and threw the body in it. The flames went wild and grew bigger and bigger and I could distinctly smell the burning flesh.

I sat there doing nothing. He walked towards me and said as he caressed my hair “This is all for you… This is what they deserve.” He wiped the tears off my face and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go” He said “We have a mission to accomplish.”











We got in the car. I rolled my window open and let the breeze of the cold summer night wipe the sorrow off my face. I looked at him. His expression was numb. He looked focused on the road.

“I can’t go on like this” I said “This is too much. I want us to be free of all this.”

“We will” He said “Don’t worry. Someday we’re going to be free, just you and me. We will live normal boring days and play boring card games in our little home.” He smiled and touched my face with his right hand “I just need you to not give up on me”

“Will we though? Will we ever live like normal people? Will we ever be able to smile again, to be happy? After everything we’ve done”

“We can’t afford to do this right now baby. We have to be focused” He said as he turned his eyes back on the road.

I kept looking at him. Has he lost every trace of his humanity? Is this the man I fell in love with? He is. We were broken, both of us. He just seemed to handle it a little better than I did.

I fell in love with a murderer, but I am also a murderer.


 We finally got to the motel. We prepared ourselves for bed and Evan went right to sleep, I watched him sleeping. The night was short and sad, everything around me made me feel bitter, guilty. I wish there was a way out, I wish I could just close and reopen my eyes and everything will be back to normal, to the way it used to be. But I know it won’t, life doesn’t work the way you want it to, and you just have to live with what you’ve become.

He opened his eyes “You didn’t sleep,” It wasn’t a question. “You have to sleep at some point baby, you’re going to be sick.”

“What are we doing? If this is the life we’re doomed to live I don’t even want it anymore.”

“Stop. Don’t say that. We haven’t come this far to give up now. We just need to be a little more patient. Go to sleep now baby, we have a long day ahead of us.” He turned his back to me and fell back asleep.

I tried to fall asleep but every time I kept seeing the same nightmare, memory is actually the best word. If there is anything I’m afraid of, it’s losing him. I don’t care if I die, that would actually be a relief, but I can’t afford to lose him. I let my thoughts take me back to a simpler time, a happier one.


Summer of 2012


I felt the heat of the sunlight coming in from the window on my face, I opened my eyes. I stood up and walked to the window. It was a beautiful day, I could hear the birds and the kids playing in the backyard. I looked down and there was my little brother with his friends playing, he saw me looking at them. “Evelyn you’re awake! Come down I want to show you a trick Beverly showed me!” I smiled “Okay I’m coming! Careful don’t run that fast you might fall.” I walked out of my room and head down the stairs. My mother saw me from the kitchen and called out to me, “Honey you’re finally awake.” She came up to me and kissed me on the cheek, “Happy birthday darling! Come, I have a surprise for you.” She said. My mother was beautiful, seeing her face in the morning everyday was the most joyful thing I could ever hope for. When she smiled, it was like the whole world was in peace, like there was no evil and no pain. Her smile could make me feel so safe and protected, serene. There was a world which was our home, our own personal little heaven where no one could harm us, my mother’s smile was why that world existed.

“Let me just see Benjamin for a second.”

I kissed her on the forehead and head out to the backyard. When Benjamin saw me, he run to me and hugged me. “Happy birthday Evelyn! I love you big sister.”

“I love you too Buddy. Now don’t run that fast you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Come see this!” He pulled my hand and dragged me after him.


I opened my eyes, it was 5am. I got dressed and went outside to grab some breakfast, Evan was still sleeping. I drove to the nearest coffee shop and got us some coffees and muffins. I was driving back to the motel when I had this huge rush of emotions, something was wrong. I stepped on the gas. I parked behind the left corner of the motel. I stepped out of the car and tried to be as discreet as possible. I could see our first floor motel room from the corner of my eye, the door was open. They found us. Evan!

I had this huge urge to run over there, see if Evan was Okay. But I stopped myself, we had an agreement. We knew this day would come. But I had to be smart, I had to resist the urge to go there, to see him, because I know that wouldn’t do any good. I can’t afford to lose him. I just can’t. Three huge men walked out of the room brutally dragging Evan with them.

“Evan!” I screamed and quickly put my hands on my mouth. I hid behind the wall. Luckily, I was too far for them to hear me. I was torn between what I wanted to do and what I had to do. The three men got in a black car and drove away. I wrote down the license plate number and got in the motel room. I sat on the bed staring blankly at the wall in front of me. I stopped my mind from wandering around the unthinkable possibility, and tried to gather whatever strength I had left. I can’t break down and collapse, not now. I got on my feet and pulled the suitcase from underneath the bed and started to pack everything. I grabbed my keys and my bag and headed off to the car.

© Copyright 2020 Fadia. All rights reserved.

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