Hope

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Hope keeps him bound to the one who left

Submitted: August 20, 2018

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Submitted: August 20, 2018

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Sitting in their rooms, so close, yet so far

They write

Write all that they feel, for no one can actually understand

People leave.

That’s the most undeniable truth of this world,

Yet we don’t get used to the pain of it,

The pain we’ve felt for so long.

Fear rules their hearts, perhaps the pain was too great for them after all.

The words he wishes he could take back, the words he wishes he could speak

The things he wishes he could undo; the things he wishes he could do.

They break him down every day, like a blacksmith hammering the sword,

Up and down and up and down

Over and over again.

They used to lie in their beds, thinking about each other,

Now they lie there, thinking they were toxic for each other.

Breaking over and over again, the world forcing them to change.

But does this change have to be so painful?

Because it hurts more every day,

Instead of going away.

The fire in his eyes is extinguished, yet hope still burns in his heart,

The hope lets pain find a way

To break him all over again.

He writes and writes for that’s all he can do,

Pray and pray for it to be over soon.

He refuses to leave his room, afraid that he’ll catch a glimpse of her.

He smiles and laughs, he smokes and drinks and parties hard.

Yet none of it is true, for a part of him is dead.

The part that made him happy, the part that made him……him.

The circumstances created doubts in his heart,

poisonous words spewed by others clouded his judgment

In a moment of weakness, he lost himself, but worse, he lost her.

Then doubt and fear crept into her heart.

He will hurt me again became the norm,

So she left him there, in the dark,

Taking the piece of him that made him whole,

They were two parts of a puzzle assembled wrong.

Now they stay away from each other,

He doesn’t know any better.

Was he really toxic for her?

Was she really toxic for him?

Were they really toxic for each other?

The sudden silence rings in his hollowed heart,

Yet it’s deafening presence makes him cry out.

Afraid and lonely, Angry and hurt,

He cries out in silence, always breaking apart.

She was his gorgeous motherfucking sunrise,

She was his everything,

He loved her more than anything.

Her smile made him whole, she gave him the strength he didn’t even know

Yet she left, the best part of his life,

Leaving him hallowed, cowering in fright.

If only he could hate her, it would be so much easier,

Break all promises and forget her.

She exists now only in his memory, a distant one of a time long gone.

Only four months, that’s all.

In that short amount of time, he found and lost her.

He found his puzzle and yet couldn’t solve her.

Yet as the sun sets on another day, he still wonders why?

Why did the world not want us together, for we were happy being with each other?

Were they not strong enough to fight the world?

The lies, the deceit, the poisonous words?

He loved her for her flaws. He loved her for her strength. He loved her for the person she was, but he loved her more for the person she could be.

He fell in love with her every day, yet that wasn’t enough.

Hope still lives in his heart. That she’ll see once again the man he his.

This hope keeps him from moving on, breaking him every day.

A broken sword, when mended, is strongest from where it once broke,

Hearts are the same, he hopes.

What if they cut off the world, gave some time to themselves?

Away from each other to see what went what wrong,

To see if it could be like it once was,

When the world had not decided to tear them apart.

He hasn’t let that hope go, he can’t figure out why,

Breaking over and over again till the end of time.

He waits for the day he can smile again. A true carefree smile, one that will light up his day.

He waits for the day he can eat again,

He waits for the day he can sleep again.

He waits for the day he doesn’t whisper her goodnight,

He waits for the day he doesn’t cry in the night.

He waits for the day he can move on and become whole again,

He waits for the day the sun will rise again.

Was he toxic, or was she?

Or were they both perfect, but the world wasn’t?

Was the world toxic?

Were the people they surrounded themselves with the cause?

his sister tells him you dodged a bullet, his therapist tells him it was a toxic relationship. 

His friends say she never deserved you, your attention or your love, they say she was playing you from the start. She made you cry and hurt yourself.

Yet his heart doesn't believe that it's true, for he still sees her like he used to.

He still sees the things the world cannot see in her, 

For he knows who she really is

A kind caring person, just loving everything.

He still feels her pain in him, for she became an inseparable part of him. 

Yet he lost her, all over again.

But he asks, which relationship doesn't have its pains.

People cheat or are cheated on. 

People do horrible things to each other.

Yet they find the courage to be with each other.

Why couldn't they do it too, he wonders?

Why was the world so hell-bent on tearing them apart?

He’ll never know now, for its over.

So, for now, he just waits. Waits for things to play out for he is powerless, broken down.

He’ll wait for as long as it takes, he waits for fate to pull his strings.

Yet he knows he’ll never forget her,

For he loved her then, now and forever.

After all, she was his gorgeous motherfucking sunrise.

So he lies down on his bed,

Closes his eyes as the tears drop from his eyes and whispers, “Goodnight, my beautiful sunrise”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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