Your First

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

About the love of my life.

Submitted: August 23, 2018

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Submitted: August 23, 2018



I looked into her eyes and said, "I wanna be your first."
But she looked away because she was embarrassed to say, "I'm not a virgin."
So I touched her cheek, cradled her face in my hands and said,
"That's okay.  'Cause I wanna be your first in a thousand different ways."

Like, I wanna be the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning.
Like, I wanna be the first one to keep his promises to you.
Like, I wanna be the first thing you kiss after you say, "I do."

I want to kiss my name so deeply into your mouth that you always remember what its syllables taste like.
And you'll never forget me because mine will be the only name you remember after sun down
when you repeat it so often in your carnal prayers which always end with the words, "Oh my God you're good!"

I wanna be the first one to bring you coffee in bed and know exactly how you like it.
I wanna be the first thing to actually replace your caffeine craving because I can widen your eyes and hype your heart rate like a mad scientist cocktail of espresso and Red Bull.

I wanna be the first thing you need a prescription for
because the dopamine and oxytocin of my lips are way past the legal limit.

I wanna be the first one that you don't have to make excuses to,
because there's nothing to excuse.
Your imperfections, like the imperfections of my Brazilian coffee mug, are just proof that you were hand made.
Crafted by the very hand of God out of Alaskan snow, Houston soil, and the salted sea
to create the statuesque beauty I want to drink deeply
like chamomile and lavender tea
so I can fall asleep next to you and wake up healthy.

I wanna be the first song you want stuck in your head
because you believe that the sound of me singing FUN. in the shower is the sexiest sound you've ever heard at 6am.

I wanna be the first one whose breathing you know by heart and face you know by hand,
so that if the sun turns black and the stars stop shining you can still pick my face out in a crowd.
That way I never have to be afraid of losing you,
and we can always find our way back to each other.

I wanna be the first one to watch Paper Towns with you
so that for the rest of our lives we sing the Pokemon theme song every time we start to feel scared,
so that we can create our own world like copyright traps make cities
and two names combine to create new realities.

I wanna be the first thing that pops into your head when someone asks you, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

I wanna be the first description you give when you describe the perfect man
so that when you write in your diary you say, "He's 6'1", green eyes, brown hair, eats entirely too fast, and thinks that Ghirardelli Chocolate Peppermint Squares are the only candy this world ever needs."

I want to be the first one you share your popcorn with,
because I know what that means to you.

And when I ask you to rank the greatest loves of your life
you summon the sweetest sounds of the universe and say,
"Darling, you will always be my first,"
then wipe my insecurities away with your lips so that I never have to wonder where I rank with you
because I know that I'm your first in all the ways that ever mattered to you.

© Copyright 2019 Matthew Benfield. All rights reserved.

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