Thoughts

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 2 (v.1) - Bleeding Out

Submitted: August 28, 2018

Reads: 78

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Submitted: August 28, 2018

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Everything will be all right. That’s what her eyes told me. But then again, that’s what they always told me. Every time I needed her the most, she was always there. Waiting on the sidelines for when I was in urgent need of someone to just tell me that I will get through this. That’s how I survived my childhood. I’m ashamed to say she was my crutch. And now I am left disabled and alone, trying to find a way to limp through life while attempting to fill this gaping hole in my heart. It doesn’t feel real. Like I’m still in shock. Except it is real, and every time I turn my head, or focus on something in the room I either feel like I’m going to vomit, pass out, start to cry, or all three at the same time. I don’t know how others can deal with such a loss. Selfishly I wasn’t there when she needed me the most and now in an almost ironic turn of events she won’t be there for me during one difficult times during my life. I remember the room, stuffy and warm. I remember her trusting, sad gaze. Almost as if she knew that her time was almost up. I couldn’t stay. The stuffy turned to suffocating, the warmth to a burning heat that was unbearable. The moment I left that room I knew that it was too late to turn back, whether or not that decision will be one of the biggest regrets of my life or not will never be known. I made my decision, now I must face the consequences and forever live with the noose of guilt tightening around my neck.


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