Where You Are

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Red Wolph Literature


A letter to the girl who holds my heart.

Submitted: August 29, 2018

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Submitted: August 29, 2018

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There might be some part of me that wants to control you.
I'm sorry about that.
Mostly, I just want to be where you are.

I just want to be in your arms forever — but only figuratively.
Because I want us to run, hand in hand, across the world, meeting everyone and caring about everything.
Caring so much that our hearts burst together into a unified mess.
A unified mess of passion and empathy.

How can I live without you?
I survived.
True enough, I survived, but that was only half-living.
I want to live with you, for — with you — I live.

I apologize a thousand times if I ever make you feel contained.
I don't want to contain you.
I want to be close to you.
And I pray that my proximity will only set you all the more free.
All the more glad.
All the more bright.

I love your light.
I want to see your glow cascade around the world.
Cascade around me.
Sometimes, I suppose I'll be in the way of your fireworks.
I hope you can forgive my clumsy presence on those days.
It's just that I cannot drink enough of your nearness.

You touch me.
You touch my heart.
For a moment, each touch causes pain — but only because it is reshaping me.
You stir up old hurts and transform them into new joys.
Every touch is terrifying.
But I am learning to enjoy the terror.

I am learning to see that you are for me.
It is a slow learning, like learning a language or making love.
It is clumsy at first.
Soon, it becomes sweet, and I enter a new world of new words and new sensations.

And how can I resist the allure of new worlds?
How can I resist the sensation you are?
Draw me in.
Hold me close.
Let me bask in your touch and your scent and your eyes and your words.
I just want to be where you are.


© Copyright 2018 N. M. Rudolph. All rights reserved.

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