Data Provider

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


A short story that's exaggerated

Submitted: September 01, 2018

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Submitted: September 01, 2018

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It's obvious the government is watching everything we do on our phones, but it didn’t hit Katie’s reality until she was old enough to use a cell phone. During this time of our story, there was an increase in the lobbying of corporations, where there was always an excuse to be monitoring someone. Most of the time it was safety, where many were saying ‘What if something bad happens, we need to record it?’.

Once Katie started posting her own stories on social media, she was contacted by the government and many other questionable characters. Many saw that sharing information to anyone other than the government was similar to ‘snitching’, where almost anything posted was exaggerated beyond any rational meaning. Katie, ignoring all new guidelines, posted a first and single photo of her lunch with the caption “I like food” on her new cell phone. The responses included:

 

“Why did you post this picture of food?

Are you bragging about how much you have to eat? There’s people starving in other countries you know, it doesn’t help that you shove it in their faces”

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing something other than eating? You only live once you know and you shouldn’t spend all this time writing out posts”

“This food doesn’t look perfect. I’m going to make sure this restaurant gets shut down immediately, 0 out of 5 stars”

“There just something about this I don’t like, please take it down immediately or face the consequences”

 

Email Received: Notification from your Data Provider

Dear Customer,

We regret to inform you that you have violated your “Unlimited Data” plan by going over your allowed data allocation for your lifetime. Government policies require you to fill out forms RTX-AB-312.12A before opening any applications on your device. If you need to reform a past post to get your data reimbursed, please go to the nearest data center and fill out the forms YTH-098-VV3 and forms TGBDS-2345 before midnight of day posted (Data Center hours are between 9:00am and 9:02am every 3rd friday each leap year). Registration and sign-up forms must be submitted before reformation, or a fee of $48 per minute past deadline will be charged upon approval. In order to get approval, you must get actual parental permission if you are under the age of 59 years. If your parental units are no longer in contact or deceased, then reformation is automatically denied. However, if you have lots of money please ignore this email and send us a check for $500,000 and we will put your account back on track.

 

Thanks,

AUTOMATED_MESSAGE

 

P.S. Please do not respond to this message, because we don’t have anyone reading them and thus refuse to accept responsibility for anything. Everything is the customer’s fault.

 

These responses made Katie quite surprised. She couldn’t understand why so many others were able to post so easily but she was not. As it turns out, unless you were already famous, you weren’t allowed to make any judgments, opinions, or statements as it would be considered practically illegal. In order to become famous, Katie realized that she needed to get everyone’s attention. Posting images or opinions that everyone agrees with, got her nowhere. So she started posting articles that were not normally agreed upon. Some of which include:

 

“15 Reasons why child birth is super easy and everyone who says otherwise is probably lying”

“Give me your money for free, only $9.95!”

“I started exercising and I gained 300+ lbs, don’t do it!”

“Dogs Taste better than Cats: My Experiment”

“Everyone should be working at least 100 hours per week, for free”

“Everything happens for No Reason”

 

She instantly became famous, ran for president, and then won.

 

 


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