Letter to my ex-boyfriend

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: September 02, 2018

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Submitted: September 02, 2018

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I had two great loves in my life. In both cases I felt as if the feeling literally flowed through my veins: my heart was beating, I felt butterflies in my stomach, I blushed, my cheeks hurt me from laughing, I could not resist even a moment without him. Unfortunately, neither of them worked, but the second one completely destroyed me and made me believe that I would never recover from all the pain and anguish. I wondered: can I ever trust another man? Will I still be able to give my heart, body, mind, and soul?
After he left me I had to get my life back on my hands. I know that to go forward the first thing to do is to forgive the man who broke my heart. Until now I have never spoken openly about my story, but now I decided to do it with this letter written for that man I loved, for that man who proved to be different than I thought he was.
You met me in such a vulnerable and fragile phase of my life, and you took full advantage of it. I was just over 18 and thought I had already found the love of my life.
You were everything I had always dreamed of and everything I thought I wanted. You had a week less than me, you were smart, handsome, funny, witty, skilled. You had me in your hands and you had the power to shape me.
How naive I was in believing that someone could really love me with all my heart. It's my fault, and only now, can I really understand and see reality. You always wanted me to be something more, something your parents would have approved. Maybe the times he told me not to comb his hair in a certain way, because you did not like it. I also remember the moments when you said that I was fat like a cow.
At the time I felt guilty, I thought I was worth less than zero. Today I do not understand why I was with someone who did not like me. Today I curse you for making me feel so inadequate. But in the past, I always tried to justify your behavior. It's not your fault, it's my fault that I allowed you to treat me like that. If you were really the good guy you said you were, I should never have apologized to you for my choices.

Then I discovered all your lies, the dates you had with others, and online conversations with other girls. For me, there was only you, but for you, I was one of many.
Until now I have not talked about you to anyone, today I want to tell my story to everyone.
For a long time I stayed at your side trying not to see the bad of you, then I had the strength to leave you but for a long time, I could not start again.
So here we are. Now I chose to forgive you, this does not mean that I no longer feel angry at all the times that made me feel so useless. But today I want to move forward.
I learned to love my loneliness and I learned to love every single part of me. I'm not perfect. I can be emotionally unstable but, damn it, I'm strong. Anyone who has endured someone like you deserves a prize.
So thank you, thank you for helping me to understand how bitch I am.
By the way, I heard what time you are together, congratulations! I wish you nothing, but happiness that yes. I can honestly say that when you really loved someone, regardless of what someone did to you, you only want the best for that person.
My heart has no room for hatred, it is too full of love for those who take care of me.

 

Sincerely,

 

Your ex-girlfriend.


© Copyright 2018 Veronica Iezzi. All rights reserved.

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