The Life Of A Abused Girl

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


She was abused by her father since her mother passed during labor. What will happen through her life? Will she get help?

Submitted: September 03, 2018

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Submitted: September 03, 2018

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I never thought my life would be like this. How did it turn out like this? Let’s start at the beginning. On July 25th I was born into this world. Even though I wish I wasn’t. My mom passed away giving birth to me. From what I remember my father blamed me for her death every day. If I have to think about it he blamed me for everything. He became acholic when I turned 6. Every night I would try to tell him to stop drinking. Even though I was 6 I had to learn fast or I wouldn’t survive. Once I would tell him to stop drinking he would blame me for his actions and hit me over and over till I passed out. I never even went to normal school, I snuck out every time he went out. He caught me a few times and gave me worse punishment. He hated me, he hated his own flesh and blood. I always wished for a normal life… Even though that is unrealistic for a person like me. He would call me names. Horrible names like Murderer, disappointment, useless, and much more. He didn’t just hurt me physically but emotionally too. I’m not sure how I will ever trust someone again when the only person I know is a monster. If I disrespect him he calls his friends over and he and they beat me. I wish my mom was here. He won’t even allow me to call her my mom since I “Killed Her”. Sometimes at night I find old videos of them and watch them in the office. They look so happy and excited for me to come to the world. But here he is hitting me every chance he gets. I’m not allowed outside the house, or to see anyone besides him and his friends. I tried getting help before but he caught me and hit me in the back of the knees with a bat. I bleed but he just dragged me home and beat me more. I have tried ending all the pain, I tried ending life. He stopped me not like a nice father he told me I can’t die yet I deserve pain a torture. I can’t even cry at night. I feel like I’m losing myself I am becoming emotionless. I am lost, I have no idea why I was even born. I wake up every morning and look in my mirror. I am disappointed I let him do this to me. I stand in the mirror and see cuts, scratched, bruises, and dried blood everywhere. I wish I could fight back but I am too weak. He won’t let me eat, or do anything. I just want to be normal I don’t understand this pain.

I thought a father was supposed to love you not despise you. I wish I felt the love I wish I had it all. At night I dream of the perfect white picket fence life. Gut feelings they hurt my gut tells me to escape this monster house but my heart says stay and change him. How can you change someone who won’t let you speak without becoming violent? You just can’t, it’s too scary too hurtful. Every day I think what if I become like my father. Then I remind myself I would never stoop to his level. He isn’t a human, he’s a lingering demon who won’t leave you alone even if they aren’t present. They stick in your mind reminding you of everything bad that has happened. Days later… he hit me again he punched me right in my stupid face is what he called it. My lip is swollen with a bust near my chin. If only someone could come to rescue me from this madhouse. But I am stuck with the voices in my head, and my father. Father, why do I still call him that? A father doesn’t treat their daughter like this. From books, I read I found in my moms closet fathers are kings to their daughters. They never let anyone hurt them and if someone does they hurt them. But my sorry excuse of a father is not like one in the book he hurts me… Every time I look at him I saw anger, his eyes are bloodshot. I can’t look at him for more than 5 seconds or he gets angry and throws stuff. I trigger him for some reason. Maybe cause I look like the love of his life my mom and I am the one who made her die. Sometimes I think I deserve this pain everytime my dad looks at me I cause him heartache. Every time I think like that I snap myself back to reality. If I remind him of my mom he shouldn’t hurt me, he wouldn’t hurt her so why me? I guess I don’t deserve to live in his eyes. Maybe not just his but mine too.

One day, I walked into the living room around 8 am. My dad was lying asleep on the couch with a tipped beer bottle on the floor. I went to clean up the beer and my dad woke up. He asked what I was doing and called me a name. I told him I was just cleaning up. He got angry and said I was talking back to him. He grabbed my throat and started choking me. He stood up and held me in the air. I was gasping for air and trying to take his hands off my neck right before I passed out he threw me on the ground and laughed. He called me worthless and walked to the kitchen for another beer. I sat on the floor motionless scared for my life to cry. I stood up slowly catching my balance and breath and walked back to my room. I cried as quietly as I could for hours. He noticed and barged into the room. This time he didn’t hit me just yelled. I thought at that moment he was changing but boy was I wrong. When he got to my doorway he turned around and said he is going to the bar. At that moment I knew he wasn’t changing. I fell asleep a few hours later it was a peaceful sleep knowing he wasn’t home and I was alone. A few hours later again I heard a door slam. I knew this wasn’t gonna be good. My father came in and started throwing stuff. He kept saying I will regret being alive. I laid there scared in my bed. I didn’t dare to move. After breaking a few items of mine he left and slammed my door on the way out. A little later music started playing in the living room at that moment I knew his friends were over. My father’s friends scare me they are just like him and when they are together it is worse. I run back to my bed and lay there staring at the ceiling. A few tears run down my face. I start to pray to ask God to say hello to my mom for me. Before the end of the prayer, I started getting selfish asking why he doesn’t help me find a way out of this life. I sit there with my hands in my face and tears running everywhere thinking why I just said that. I end it by saying sorry and Amen.

I heard him awake the next morning. I’m guessing he was going to work for once. He didn’t come into my room before he left this time. Once I heard the front door close I jumped out of bed. There I stood in front of my bed very shaky and weak. I hated feeling weak but I can’t do anything about it. I walked to the kitchen slowly so I wouldn’t collapse beneath myself. Once I made it to the fridge I had to use all my force to open it. There wasn’t much in there but enough to fill me up for a little. I grabbed some bread, ham, and cheese then made a sandwich. Before walking to my room I got a cup of tap water and walked away. Once I sat on my bed I felt so relieved to have food and time to relax. I ate fast just in case he showed up. All the evidence that was showing I ate is gone. After eating I found some decent clothes that I had that were clean and went to take a shower. I stood in the shower with dirt all over the wall and started crying. This life is horrible I kept thinking to myself. A few minutes later… The shower felt good but I was still very upset. When I got out I got dressed fast and ran to my room. I through my stuff under the bed so he won’t notice. I waited about 20 minutes and I figured he was not gonna be back for a while. Thoughts in my mind kept saying go get help. I picked up a jacket off the floor and started walking to the door. Right, when I opened the door there he was. Of course, he was there why wouldn’t he be. He stepped in very angrily and asked where I was going. I said, “Father I heard you get here so I wanted to open the door for you” which was a lie. He then pulled at my jacket asking why I had it on then. I told him it was chilly he didn’t believe it. He pushed me back and I fell while hitting my head on the coffee table. He laughed I had a huge cut from my head and my father just stood there laughing up a storm. I sat up and put my face in my knees and held my head. I couldn’t keep the pain in I kept crying. He said, “I would make you feel a lot worse but I don’t want blood on me right now”. Ughh I just can’t believe someone could do this to anyone especially there child. The child they made!!! It hurts, everything hurts. I’m terrified of what will happen next. If only I could fight back but that would cause me more pain.

Later that night his friends showed up. I opened the door for them. They were already drunk of their minds and they told me to get them a beer. I grabbed their acholic beverages and brought it to them. They all sat on the couch drinking and watching tv including my father. I walked to my room and sat on my bed just staring into space. I was in there for a while so I decided to look around and see what nonsense my father through in here while drunk. I found a scale and measuring tape. Curiosity hit me, I fixed the scale real fast and stepped on it, I was 87 pounds. That upset me thinking I’m so tiny… After that, I grabbed the measuring tape and did my best to measure myself. I was 5’6, I don’t think someone my height should be my weight. I kinda wished I didn’t measure and weigh myself cause now I’m feeling more insecure. I can be snapped in half within seconds by any of them. I laid back on my bed wrapped in with a blanket. The blanket was so warm and fuzzy I just wanted to stay in it forever. Minutes later I started drifting to sleep. Then my dad and his friends kick my door down to the ground. Well looks like I’ll never have a door again and that door somehow made me feel safer. They walked in each with a belt in hand. They never hit me with a belt I knew this was gonna hurt. It was all leather thick leather very thick. They walked to my bed and threw my blanket off. Then started hitting me with the belts. After screaming and crying they left. I stood up and looked in my mirror. They had hit my face, stomach, and legs. I turned around and looked at my back that was the only part of my body that wasn’t hurt. I laid down and it didn’t hurt too bad it could feel a lot worse if they did get to my back. Sleep, sleep is what I needed, I fell asleep relevantly fast.

The next morning I woke up early but my father was already gone. Since I woke up early I didn’t even change to normal clothes I stayed in PJs. I ran outside and kept running until I found a neighbor. They were walking their dog. She asked what was wrong and why I was all banged up. I was out of breath from running so I kept inhaling and exhaling. I told her I wasn’t in a stable environment. She asked what I meant. I started crying and telling her my father hits me. She held her dog in one hand and hugged me. She let me cry into her shoulder for a little while. I never thought a stranger would be so nice to another stranger. My father and his friends made me think all people were bad. She stepped back asking how long this has been happening. I told her since I can remember I was 6. She asked me if I knew why he did it. I then told her he thinks I killed my mother when she was giving birth to me. She held me again. We started walking to her house. When I walked into the house it was like nothing I have ever seen. It was spotless it even smelt good. She gave me a towel and clothes and told me to take a shower and leave my old clothes in the trash. I thanked her and she pointed to the bathroom. I brought this journal in with me and sat it on the very big marble sink. I stepped into the shower and stayed in it for an hour it felt so nice compared to mine I felt safe. As I exited the bathroom I smelt something sweet and yummy. She had made a frozen pizza and had brownies sitting on the table. I took a seat at the counter next to her and she grabbed me a plate with 4 slices of pizza and 2 brownies. I laughed a little about how much I had and she smiled at me. She started talking about her husband. Her husband works at a hospital and she is a chef but was off today. She told me when her husband got home she would have him check her and call the police in the morning so I could get cleaned up and rested to talk all day tomorrow, I agreed. I asked if she had kids since it seemed like she was a mom by how she took me in. She responded with “No I can’t have children sadly”. I told her I was sorry, she then said its fine and walked me to the living room. We sat on the couch and watched tv shows for what felt like years. Her husband walked in the door with a big smile on his face asking how her day was and he hadn’t noticed me yet. She said it was okay and then got up and introduced me to him. He asked for my name I responded with Angelina. The woman then asked her husband to talk in their room. Before she left she said to make yourself at home we’ll be right back. I sat there still watching tv for about 10 minutes. Then got up, and went into the kitchen I looked in the fridge and saw soda. I grabbed soda since I never had any all I ever had was water or milk. I drank some a brought it to the living room with me and sat it on a coaster. I’m guessing they were talking about me in the room…

They both came back out hand in hand. He sat in front of me and she sat beside me. He knelt down and asked if he could check my scratches, bruises, cuts, busts, and more. I nodded, he pushed on my head and I tensed up he asked if it hurt I told him everything hurts. He bandaged me up, gave me ice, and heating packs for different wounds. I was so thankful and thanked them both a bunch of times. They kept saying stop saying sorry and let out a chuckle. I smiled at them and laid back on the couch. They asked if I was getting tired I told them the truth. Then they showed me to a guest room that was a big as my whole house. The woman brought me PJs to change in and the man brought me an extra blanket a cute teddy bear. Even though I’m 16 I still thought that was cute. I laid on the bed under the blanket cuddled up with a stuffed animal. A couple minutes later ai realized there was a tv I turned it on and watched it for a few. The dog that the woman was walking came running in a and laid with me. The dog was huge I pet it and fell asleep next to it. I was waking up by an alarm at 1 pm. I jumped up I have never wake up with an alarm and I have never slept in that late. I walked to the kitchen and saw a huge plate of food made. My smile was from ear to ear. I sat down in the empty seat between them and ate a lot. The lady told me she was going to grab me a spare hairbrush and a new toothbrush with clothes so I can get ready. She jumped up and walked to her room. The man asked if I was okay to speak to the cops today I told him I was ready. He smiled and drank his drink. I’m not sure what was in the drink but it smelt good. I think he noticed being curious. He got up and walked to this machine on the counter and poured me a small cup. He slid it to me and said: “Its coffee try it”. I sipped it, it was hot but good I smiled once again and he let a small giggle out. The lady came back with a bunch of stuff in hand. My eyes widened and I laughed so did her husband. She said "I wanted you to pick your outfit and this is all the stuff I use on a normal daily basis. Her husband seemed shocked at how much stuff she uses. She ran back to the bathroom and placed the stuff in there. When I walked past her she said: “Have fun I left a lot in there and laughed”. I went into the bathroom to see 3 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, a package of new undergarments, a toothbrush, and hairbrush. I looked at other stuff she brought it looked like makeup I didn’t know how to use it but I knew what it was I didn’t put any on. She even left hairspray and some hair bands. I got dressed and put my hair in a bun. I walked out and she smiled and said I looked beautiful. I have never been called that ever in my life. I sat on the couch and we watched movies for a while.

About two hours later the cops pulled up. They knocked on the door and the man let them in. They sat in the dining room and the man told me and his wife to sit with them. I walked over and took a seat. The cops looked at me and had a sad face. They asked how I was doing. I told them good since I came here. They question my father. I told them all the times he hit me, how many times I tried to leave, why he hit me and even about his 3 friends hitting me. They told me they were very sorry and very happy I got help. I told them everything. They said they wanted the address of my house. I told them I didn’t know the address but could show them how to get there. I got in the car with the wife and husband the cops followed behind I directed them to the house not far from theirs. We pulled up across the street from it and sat in the car. The cops pulled up in the driveway since my father’s car was always in the garage. They went up to the door and knocked a few times and stood there for 5 minutes till they kicked the door down. Both cops ran into the house with a gun in hand for safety. I stared through the window for about 20 minutes till they came out with not only my father in cuffs but his three friends as well. They shoved them all in the cop car somehow. After that, they came up to the passenger side of the car and opened the car door and told us they wanted us to follow them to the station the woman nodded her head. The cops pulled away and started heading down the street we followed them in the car. Once we got outside the station my heart started beating fast. The man came around and opened my door for me. I stepped out and followed them into the building. The building felt safe and scary at the same time. One officer took me and the couple to an office. We sat down and he said he’ll be back. He came back and asked me to come with him. I went into this room and my father and his friends stood behind a glass with handcuffs on. My father gave me a snarl while his friends stood there with a poker face. The cop asked if these were all and the only people who hurt me I shook my head and said yes. He exited me to the office again. We sat in the office for a while the woman and man filling out paperwork. I started to wonder what was gonna happen to me. I have no family left and was underage so I can’t live on my own. I think the couple saw the worry on my face and they told me to calm down it was gonna be okay. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. The officer asked if I could step out while he talks to them so I stepped out. I stood next to his office leaned against the wall. When I was out there I noticed a cop pushing my father towards the back. My father stopped and told me he hated me and I’m worthless. The cop kept pushing him and finally got him to move again. I started to cry another cop noticed and came over and hugged me. The officer from the office asked me to step back in and the other cop lets me go and patted my back. I sat down in the same chair looking at the officer. He asked if I was okay with living with a couple. I smiled big and said yes excitingly they giggled so, did I.

We went back home after filling out the paper. I finally have a place to call home. A place to be happy safe and loved. The woman and man said they were going to adopt me I smiled and hugged them. They told me that tomorrow we’ll go shopping so I can get clothes and more. They wanted me to have a phone for protection. They were even gonna put me in school my grade since I’m smart for my age in the next month. I loved my new life. I never want to think about my old life. I’m happy I got help. If anyone ever reads this, know that you can get help, you are loved, you can achieve your dreams if you keep on fighting to survive. Never stop, never give up. Look at me I’m healing, going to go to a therapist probably. I never gave up even though I wanted to. I’m happy I didn’t cause now I have my perfect white picket fence life. I’m safe…

The End



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