A Girl With A Mind

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


But that day she gathered up some courage and kept standing in front of the mirror. She became surprised that she was not hating her face anymore. Despite hating her face, she felt sad for herself,
"what I did to myself". She couldn't bear the state of her own reflection- deep dark circle around the eyes, unplucked eyebrows, unbrushed tousled hair, most importantly she couldn't find a little
bit of happiness in her entire face like someone knocked all the lights out.

Submitted: September 04, 2018

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Submitted: September 04, 2018

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It's a story about a girl. A girl who was smart yet humble, strong yet vulnerable, veracious yet kind, and a glass ceiling breaker; was getting ready to take on the world.

She loved to read and write; bake and feed; loved to dream and talk about life.

Her imagination knew no bounds.

"So, what kind of topic you want to work on our magazine?" the editor asked during her job interview.

"Science Fiction or politics!" said her thrilled voice.

The editor frowned upon her, "Are you sure? As far as I know, girls are more into writing about lifestyle, art or sometimes movie industry ."

She smiled and said, "Then you don't know much about girls".

Her job interview ended there. They didn't call her anymore.

"Why did you say that? Or you could have just said that you would take whatever topic they would offer. You are always very opinionated", her brother said. 

"I didn't like them either. It's a good thing they didn't call me because I wouldn't go there. I don't want to work under a boss like that. I'll find my right place in the right time," she said confidently.

 

The girl didn't have many friends. Only a handful of them, but all of them were close to her heart. Her 22nd birthday was coming up. She loved her birthday. "It's my day!" she used to say, "On this day I do whatever my heart wants". But this time her friends decided to throw her a surprise birthday party. Weeks after weeks they had been busy to plan her surprise party, and she didn't have a clue. 

So, the special day arrived, she started "her" day by praying; she loved to pray, it's the way of her talking to God. And then she put on a nice purple dress which she gifted herself for her birthday. On her every birthday she gifts herself. Sometimes it's a dress, sometimes it's a book or sometimes it's just some baked cookies. But most of the time it's .

 After putting on that nice purple dress she stepped outside, soaked herself in sunlight and went to the nearby dessert shop to have some cake.

Then she came back home, curled herself up in a blanket and turned on Netflix.

afternoon passed by, the sun was about to set, then her bestfriend called her up and told her to come to her house as soon as possible, "It's an emergency", her  said to her. "On the way", hurriedly she dressed up and got into a taxi. 

"Where are you?" she called up her friend after seeing her locked apartment.

"Rooftop!" her friend said. She went to the rooftop and......surprise!!!

The whole rooftop was decked up with fairy lights, colorful balloons, her photos and ofcourse a small round table in the middle carrying a 2 tiered chocolate cake.

 "Happy Birthday!!" all of them cheered up together.

She was stunned. It took her a moment to figure out what's going on.

All of her friends gave her tight hugs one by one. Then she cut the cake, fed her friends.

She was happy, she loved the surprise, she loved that night- all the lights and glitters, all the balloons and ribbons, all the love and happiness around her- she loved every bit of it and it was that night he swooped in to take over her little universe. 

He was a friend of her friend. He was good at singing and guitar, so her friend invited him to sing at the party. He sang some soul touching songs keeping his eyes on her eyes. She didn't know was it the song or his intense long gaze that swooned her over. 

first it was only small talks. Soon small talks became endless conversations. Nights after nights, days after days, they kept talking and she was head over heel all the time. 

As writing was her "thing", she used to write him letters and sometimes little notes. She used to go out of her way to make him happy in every possible way. She loved to see his face beaming with happiness. Soon, his happiness became her happiness.

"So, am I the sunshine or moonshine in your life?", she asked cheekily.

He smiled and replied, " Sunshine, because the sun is always there, shining, even in the night".

Slowly, she made him the center of her universe. From the first sip of the morning coffee to the sweet little night dreams of her, he was everywhere in her thoughts. So, she fell in love- deeply, madly, infinitely.

But did he? Fell deeply, madly, infinitely in love with her?

He said he did. He said, "There is no one in the world who can love me like you do".

But did he love the girl like no other guys would be able to? 

No. He couldn't. What went wrong? Nothing. He couldn't dive into the depth of her. He wasn't ready to accept the way she was- the smart, the strong, the fierce, the glass ceiling breaker. Just like her brother, he used to say, "You are opinionated". Just like the editor of that magazine, he said, "It's good to see that girls are more into art and culture not into business or other things."

"But I want to roam around space one day!" she said and he laughed it off. He couldn't take her "glass ceiling" breaking attitude for long. 

So, he left.

He left her behind with an empty centered universe.

Like every other human being in the world, she wasn't ready for it. The sudden emptiness shattered her, darkened her world in a way like there was no star left in her galaxy.

He was her first love.

For days, she used to lock herself up in her own little room, the pillows and the pet cat of her became the only witness of her endless crying and agony.  was her way of spilling feelings, so she wrote hundreds of letters to him but posted none of it.

She stopped eating. The extra weight she always wanted to lose, it was gone within just a few weeks.

job. She stopped planning to take over the world she intended to.

And ......she stopped writing, which she loved to do the most.

"What happened to you?"her best friend asked. "Life happened", she replied throwing a blank stare. 

She was going through all the five stages of grief- denial, anger, bargain, depression except the last one- "acceptance" that he was gone. 

She was denying the fact that he was gone and never gonna return. She kept waiting for him to return. She kept calling him hysterically only to hear his annoyed, insulting voice. And one day he stopped picking up her call.

Days passed by, weeks passed by, two months turned into four months. He didn't return.

Anger took her over. Anger towards him, anger towards herself. 

"If only I wouldn't think like that, we might be still together?" she told her friend, questioning the very fundamental of "who" she was. "But we love the way you are", her friend hugged her tightly. 

Depression stepped in.

Back and forth, she was moving among these four stages.

She became numb, her tears turned dry, her heart got hardened. But that was not the end.

There's more to the story.........

In one fine morning, she stopped in front of the mirror and kept standing. In the past six months, she had been hating the idea to see her own face in the mirror. But on that day she gathered up some courage and kept standing in front of it. She became surprised that she was not hating her face anymore. Despite hating her face, she felt sad for herself, "What I did to myself !"

She couldn't bear the state of her own reflection- deep dark circle around the eyes, unplucked eyebrows, unbrushed tousled hair, most importantly she couldn't find a little bit of happiness in her entire face like someone knocked all the lights out.

That was the moment she decided to take it no more.

She looked around her messy dark room. Clothes were stacked altogether on the couch. A book named "Sharp objects" she bought months ago to read, was covered with a thick layer of dust. First, she cleaned up her room, moved the curtain and let the sunlight to busk in, cleaned all the dust away from her floor-length bookshelf; put some fresh flower in the vase on her writing desk. 

From that day, she started to put all her sadness, numbness and heartaches aside and got back on her feet like before. And she was finally, back on her feet. It took time. But she made it. The only difference this time was- she made herself the center of her universe.

And it was never empty anymore.

So, the girl was over her worst ever heartbreak. She made it to the last stage of grief.

And she was stronger than before, she was kinder than before- the unkindness she endured, couldn't take away her kindness. Nothing could tame her fierce, glass ceiling breaking, beyond stereotype thinking attitude.

She was good; she became a better version of herself.

Her heart was broken indeed, but she didn't let her soul to be lost.

And then her heart mended eventually. 

Then one day she landed her first job, the type of job she wanted.

She started writing again, she started feeling alive again.

Her science fictions got accepted by many publishers and soon went on to become best sellers.

So this is it, she never had to look back again at her wounded time.

 "So, heartbreak is okay and you've to just give yourself some time to heal. Always be there for yourself no matter what", she was reading from one of her book to the audience at her book reading event.

After that, later in her life, many people came and left. Some loved her, some didn't.

But it was okay.

She got hurt but then she was fine.

Because she made none of them the leading character in her story anymore. After all, it has always been her story, so she is the writer, she plays the leading role.

So the story ends here

&

"The Girl Said Goodbye"


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