the endless void

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


that poor baby boy was cursed from the moment his momma and pop conceived him. he never stood a chance in the small confinements of school and home; let alone the real world where he would be off
on his own.

Submitted: September 04, 2018

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Submitted: September 04, 2018

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That poor baby boy was cursed from the moment his momma and pop conceived him. He never stood a chance in the small confinements of school and home; let alone the real world where he would be off on his own.

 

The curse was said to have ran in his family; plaguing whomever it pleased at random. His momma and pop never believed in the curse. It was modern day when science, not magic, explained everything now. But how else could you explain the life of this poor boy who was now a man?

 

At first it was small things like teacher’s constantly losing his tests and assignments and making him redo them all over again. Then it would be the new adorable puppy his momma and pop gifted him, only to be around long enough to get attached and then having to put him down after finding out he was born with a disease. Or breaking his arm just as he made it onto a varsity baseball team. The poor boy would joke around with his friends as he got older, explaining that he “just broke a lot of mirrors” as a kid and was now paying the price.

 

Growing up, Calder had heard his family talk about the curse. There was always laughter hiding behind their lips; a lightness to their speech. None of them believed it. How could they? Deep down though, he knew. He knew that there being a devastating tornado in his town every other year on his birthday wasn’t just a coincidence. He knew that breaking at least one limb a year wasn’t just from being clumsy. He also knew that this curse was nothing like the one Stanley Yelnats suffered from in Holes where all he had to do was carry a direct descendant of Madame Zeroni up a mountain to God’s Thumb in order to end it.

 

That poor baby boy was cursed from the moment his momma and pop conceived him. He really didn't stand a chance.

 

When Calder turned 23 he met the love of his life; a beautiful girl named Lily. He never thought he would have such luck. She was kind and empathetic towards everyone. She loved laughing and singing and being alive. Calder couldn’t help but think for once in his life this was something he deserved.

 

He knew she was the one when she didn't stifle a giggle when he told her how he was convinced he had the family curse. She never did tell him if she believed him or not but her beautiful heart would try to show him whenever she could how in small ways he beat the curse.

 

She would point out that not even the curse was strong enough to keep him from waking up every single day. She would talk about how the curse wasn’t powerful enough to keep him from having a loving and kind family. After years of believing his life would lead to nowhere else but an endless void; he finally thought he saw the light.

 

But like every person on this planet, the lovely Lily did not come without her flaws and problems. While Lily too had a loving and kind family, the poor girl had stumbled down an unlit road where she encountered monsters and ghouls in the form of drugs. From time to time she would find a street lamp, in the form of friends, family and rehab, but sometimes the monsters and ghouls would pretend to be her friends and she would slip away into the false comfort of the shadows. The world agreed God had taken the girl away too soon.

 

Calder shouted and cried and screamed at the curse the night he found out. He knew that it would’ve never let him be this happy for long. He knew that he should’ve known by now that the curse loved to lure him in and give him a sense of false security that everything was going to be okay. He couldn’t help but blame himself.

 

As time continued on and the pain in his chest dulled, Calder thought luck was on his side once again. Although he was hesitant and thought it was too good to be true, he met the second love of his life; Louisa. She was exciting and new and made Calder finally feel like he was alive again.

 

She dared him and toyed with him and pretended to love him. She was things that Lily was not because the very idea of being with someone else so similar to her twisted and knotted his heart and lungs until he thought he couldn’t breathe anymore. He couldn’t help but love her.

 

Unlike Lily who hid her problems behind her blazing smile and musical laughter, Louisa wore them on her sleeves. She knew the world had wronged her and wanted everyone to know. At times she was brash and cruel, spewing venomous words that she knew would hurt Calder in the most meaningful places. He still couldn’t help but love her.

 

Then one morning Calder woke up to find that his dearest Louisa had taken everything but his name and the clothes on his back. His wallet had been emptied and his costliest possessions had been hurled away silently in the night in the back of his stolen car. He tried to reach for his cellphone on his side table only to discover like everything else it was gone.

 

As Calder slowly woke up he knew he had messed up. He knew that putting all your happiness into one living being was dangerous and dumb and the worst part is he still couldn’t help but love her. He felt betrayed and even disgusted with himself but almost as a cop out he blamed the curse.

 

From time to time Louisa would call him; begging him to come find her and be her knight in shinning armour. By now he was honest enough with himself to admit how much he would want to go. How he yearned to be loved and needed even though every bone in his body and even the curse would scream at him that it was all a lie. Sometimes he would go and have a few fun nights; always hiding his phone and wallet. He would always wake up alone all too soon. He knew he would follow her to the ends of the earth.

 

As time went on the calls grew further and further apart. Partly because Calder had taught himself not to answer but also because Louisa was growing bored. And then they stopped all together.

 

By the time Calder was 34 he had gotten sick. A brain tumour that was discovered just too late; something that came as no shock to Calder. He was given months to live.

 

As his family wept and sobbed and held his hands, he couldn’t help but feel pity for them. Growing up he never saw himself living a full life. He never imagined being old and grey. He knew that the curse would take him before anything else could.

 

He was scared of what would happen once he was gone. More specifically, he was scared of where he would go. A man who believes his life has been plagued by a curse surely believes that there is some sort of afterlife. He believes that theres a good place and a bad place. Maybe even a place for the extremely mediocre.

 

He wished that he would end up wherever Lily was. He knew she had to be in paradise. While her addiction to drugs is was consumed her entire life, she was never a bad person. In fact she was a wonderful person and that’s the opinion of an unbiased eye. He would often fall asleep with a smile on his face imagining his flower dreaming on the beach.

 

It only took two months. Calder was laying in his bed at home when he knew his time was coming to an end. He doesn’t remember much of what it feels like but he does remember closing his eyes and trying to let go before the overwhelming thought of “I don’t know how to die” invaded his head. A little too late he realized he didn’t want to die. He would miss his family and his friends, the only people left in this world who had loved him through thick and thin.

 

There were no pearly white gates waiting for him after he died. No giant man with a thick beard greeting him from a throne. There were no fiery caverns with screams that could be heard in the distance. No giant man with thorns and a spiky tail. All there was, was an endless void.


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