A Series of Goodbyes I Was Meant For #1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


It all leads to something....

Submitted: September 05, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 05, 2018

A A A

A A A


I listen to him,
“She is my best friend, but she is not my lover.”
I am now 31 years old.
The clock is ticking and I am tired.
The moon’s in my peripheral, she’s calling me.
She is all I know of long distance love.
His voice infiltrates.
“I don’t think you get it. I want to wake up next to you.”
I didn’t understand. He was right.
My lethal --resting-- bitchface--
decorated the boundaries of the fortress I had built around what was left of my life.
“There’s still something innocent about you.”
I didn’t have the nerve to tell him it wasn’t innocence at all. It was heartbreak. That I wouldn’t be letting him in.
That night I don’t remember the exact moment I fell asleep or what I thought as unconsciousness seduced me.
I just remember the t---em-po of his heartbeat on my cheek and that my silent tears soaked the 100% cotton t-shirt that separated our skin. That he didn’t try to move me.
“I can’t be selfish.”
`IN` & ~OUT~
Fading into lamplight hazel warmth
--like the filter I use when I want to emulate emotional honey in Photoshop.
Fingertips to -my face, tracing temple....to cheekbone...
Soft warmth of light lips----
A whisper--
“You’re so fucking beautiful and you don’t even know it. I want to wake up next to you.”
---------But he never slept.....
 
And I haven’t seen him again.


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