Ain't it Funny? (It Ain't Funny)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: September 07, 2018

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Submitted: September 07, 2018

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Every woman of colour in my life and I have one thing in common: we laugh a lot
Belt out hysterically even in the most seemingly inappropriate moments
Giggle when we tell our stories of survival
We find it hilarious to pretend we're fine

We laugh hard enough to make the trauma hurt less
Not for us, but for other people to feel less burdened by our vulnerability

Our pain seeps out in the only way it knows how;
tears fill our eyes to the brim-
we don't know if they're from laughter or sadness


Us, Black women
Brown women
Indigenous women
Racialized and heart broken
forever needing to pick up other peoples pieces 


Our tiredness, our anger, our struggles have turned us to a state of delusion;
every laugh covers up a time of hurt
I tell my stories of abuse through half curved smiles and sarcasm
My brown skinned sisters sit around and laugh even harder as they all say "me too" 


And isn't it so eerie to feel the presence of death in a room full of breathing beings? 
to know that our ability to ask for help was killed so long ago
?and that we will always be the shoulder, never the head that rests on it

We have always been the backbone. We have yet to get a day off.
And ain't it funny? We keep encouraging self-care
but never have any left for ourselves


All my fondest memories are of laughing loudly
with my sisters as our voices slowly start to fade
and we melt away back into our own personal hells;
our fears, our confusion, our pain
The same pain we keep being told to just deal with
So we do


We laugh. Laugh until we cry
Blending our tears of melancholy
with our tears of laughter
so that no one will ever know the difference


This is our own kind of disturbed therapy
Our laughter tells our stories
Our laughter says as much as our tears do


© Copyright 2018 L.A. Collins. All rights reserved.

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