Drakula, with a K

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

A mix of old movie Horror, dry humor, with a touch of today's world.

Submitted: September 08, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 08, 2018



High in the tower of a mostly darkened castle, a voice pierces the night with shrill tones of a muffled call.



"I'm coming, Master, I'm coming!" said the trollish looking man as he hobbled along the darkened, stonewalled, hallway.

In his left hand he carried a bulging candle with what seemed to be the theatrical shapes of “Comedy and Tragedy" molded into the surfaces. But these were not merely shapes molded into the surface, they moved and made sounds; sometimes laughing, other times the sounds of sobbing.

Also, the candle's flame gave a red-ish glow to every shadow. One such shadow was that of an unseen creature that fallowed directly behind the troll-like, hunched-backed, man.


"Forgive me, Master! I was playing with "Mynerva" and completely lost track of time," E-Gore stated as he opened the lid of a beautiful hand carved casket.

The casket was positioned on a raised portion of the floor of this very large bedchamber.

From the casket rose a tall man with eyes that sparkled in the light of the candle. It was the Master of the house, Count Drakula, --- that is Drakula, with a "K".

The Count looked around and stated, "Did you have to bring that beast along? You know how I deplore it; all that snarling and the slobbering. It reminds me of my ex-wife! What was her name, ah?

"Nighttella, Master, her name was Nighttella and she died a cruel death!

The Count ignored E-Gore's reply and went on, "I thought that you were keeping that beast in the chambers below the castle. Isn't that what we discussed?"

"But she gets so lonely down in the chambers, Master, with only the rats and spiders to play with; besides, I think that she has eaten all of them," E-Gore explained as he hugged the mostly transparent beast.

The Count mumbled something and then replied, "Well, alright, but keep her out of my living quarters! Understood?!?

"Oh yes, Master, we can do that! Out of you living quarters it shall be," replied the hunchback little man sporting an almost toothless grin.

Suddenly a large, Red, bump pooped out on the top of E-Gore's mostly hairless head, which was a reminder.  So he said, "Forgive me Master, I almost forgot.

It is Vampire Appreciation night in the Hamlet, da-la Transylvania, so I have taken the liberty of preparing your evening meal; she is a gift from the Village Business Council.

From the time that you purchased this Castle the tourist traffic has grown by leaps and bounds. In fact, the village has grown into a very large town and the amount of Inns has increased tremendously; to accommodate the surge in guests, you understand.

The entire town is very grateful, Master!"

The Count paraded around the extremely large room, flipping his cape ever so boldly, then replied, "Vampire Appreciation night, huh, well it is about time that they started giving credit where credit is due."

E-Gore smiled again with that almost comical grin, then said, "I hope you approve, Master, I have dressed your gift in one of Nighttella's gowns. I picked the white silk nightgown, the one with just a hint of lace along the edges of the collarless, plunging, neckline. 

The Council delivered her in a hypnotic state and she is waiting in the dining hall. 

Is there anything else, Master?"

The Count didn't answer; he just waved his hand in a manner to dismissed E-Gore and his pet.

Then the Count opened the window, changed into a bat, and flew down to the garden that was just outside the dining hall. Once there, he changed back again and strolled through the garden.

The night was warm and humid, and there was an unlikely layer of brooding clouds drifting overhead. The Count found this invigorating so he lingered for a time before entering the hall.

As the Count entered the dining area he couldn't help but notice the smell of something odd in the room, and he wondered, "Has E-Gore been feeding his beast in my dining Hall, again?"

But there was no time to deal with E-Gore, right now, the Count had a guest to tend to.

The Count moved closer and closer to the hypnotized young woman, and then he said, "I prefer to put them in a trance myself; it adds an air of mystery and intrigue to the process.

So the Count clicked his fingers and the woman was awakened.

"Who are you?" the young woman asked defiantly, then she stepped away from the Count.

"I am Count Drakula, with a "K".

The woman turned towards the Count and boldly inquired, "Kount, with a "K", or Drakula, with a "K"?

"Drakula, with a "K", the Count replied as he moved ever closer to the woman.

Noting an avenue of escape, the young woman darted out of the dining hall and into the garden.

The Count soon followed, floating above the ground in hot per-suite.

The Count called out in the darkness of the garden, "You cannot escape me, my love. I need your blood as nourishment and in return I will make you my bride! Just think, you will be the Countess Drakula, of the Hamlet, da-la Transylvania. So come out, come out, where ever you are.

Just at that moment, the trail of clouds ended and the harvest moon shown bright above them.

The Count could see much better under the light of the full moon. But what he saw was not what he expected!

There, in the garden, stood a Ware-wolf with a torn dress falling from its body and a look of hunger in its eyes!

The battle was on!!!


As the two fought under the light of the full moon, mini cameras were sending images throughout the town.

The tourists had filled the pubs and betting parlors. And they were wearing Count-Drak Jerseys, or Wolfed-faced Tank-tops, others had on Wolf-mittens, or wax cast Drak-fangs. But on the lighter side were the Hairy Wolf Ears and the Bat-hats, with motion-activated flapping wings. Those items and much more were available for purchase in the village retail shops.

Don't you know that lots of drinks were sold that night, after all, who doesn't love the excitement of a good fight-night extravaganza?!?


And for all the hopeless romantics that may read this, here is your happy ending.


After a long and fierce battle, Drackula managed to lure the She Ware-wolf back into the dining hall. He needed to get her out of the moonlight.

It wasn’t long before she turned back into the strong, beautiful, but venerable woman that she was.

With all the theatrics of most Dracula movies, Drackula seduces the maiden. But when he drinks her blood he becomes a Ware-wolf too! (Who saw that coming?)


Yet, it all worked out well for Count and Countess Drakula. They are very good friends with many of the town's people.

They are guests of honor at the yearly Halloween Parade and, afterword, they host a lavish party at their castle; the Countess loves to entertain.

But if Halloween falls on a night with a Full Moon, everything is put off for a week; for safety reason, you understand.

Yes, it is true, on full moon nights everyone stays indoors.

The Drakulas both retire early to their home theater and make themselves comfortable in their Crypt-Recliners.

They munch on Bloodworms; drink red wine, and binge-watch Horror Movies on (BOO! TV).


D. Thurmond / JEF


© Copyright 2018 D. Thurmond, aka, JEF. All rights reserved.

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