confessions of depression

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


words she never meant to share to the world, but feels like she needs to.

Submitted: September 12, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 12, 2018

A A A

A A A


September 2, 2018

 

“confessions of depression”

 

I did not write these.

Someone else did;

a girl of this world scribbling her feelings in a bright pink journal through the years.

These are her words.

 

“It’s probably nothing.”

 

“I’m not that type of person…I’m not like them.”

 

“I don’t know why I feel like this.

I don’t know what to do with this.”

 

“Today marks my first day.”

 

“Scratches.

It’s an art.”

 

“But I didn’t get it deep enough”

 

“I did it again. I promised I wouldn’t. But I had to.”

 

“I got a good one.”

 

“it’s easier.”

 

“I can’t help myself.”

 

“I did it again today…

I don’t know why I did it today.”

 

“And thus, the fourth cut.”

 

“I cut because I’m always second…I want to be first.

Just once.”

 

“Don’t show your friends,

they’ll leave you.”

 

“I have no retreat, except my scissors”

 

“The previous ones are leaving scars.”

 

“I’m tired of doing this to myself.”

 

“They don’t understand”

 

“I want someone to understand”

 

“I started therapy…it took a lot of work, but I convinced mom.”

 

“Thanks for being there when I need it most.”

 

“Those thoughts linger longer than it should.”

 

“I should be better by now, right?”

 

“I did it again.”

 

“I need to makeup for the pain I made others feel and need to teach myself discipline.”

 

“I had to fight thoughts of killing myself.”

 

“I’m better. Not fully, but better.”

 

“I still hurt. But I’m getting better at knowing myself”

 

“I know when to stop…

usually”

 

“I used to hate thinking that this was a part of me, but it just shows me that I’m not perfect.”

 

“It doesn’t ever go away,

but I have good days.

I have really good days.”

 

 

-E.C. in collaboration with A.P.

 

 


© Copyright 2018 Ellie Carp. All rights reserved.

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