Family Tree

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: September 12, 2018

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Submitted: September 12, 2018

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Another broken home

With undertones of silent fears. 

No one lets it show

So no one really knows I've wasted another year

And I'm staring down the edge 

Of our final frontier.

 

Though I am never forgotten,

I am always alone.

Who am I supposed to be here?

Feel homesick at home.

How do I stay grounded 

If my feelings are stones?

When they're out of my head

They're only ammo to be thrown.

And the dirt that is me

Is only ground to your feet.

Somebody please help me be...

Somebody please, help me breath.

 

I am weird and weak.

Alone in three. 

Brother please,

I can't do this alone 

But I can't speak. 

 

My doldrums are playing a sad song

With undertones of a deep drum to bury the year.

Take me far away from this place,

I was murdered here. 

 

Alone I stay in my room

Hollow on the floor, 

Listening to the words that'll help me through.

A safe wall built of lyrical meditation,

Empty eyes filled with medication. 

Surrounding my inward eye with familiar things,

I see from my bed the open sky

Thinking "Someone please,

Fill these holes in my life,

So I can join the doe eyed Deerfly

To cause hinderance outside.

Chasing butterflies, raising hell and being free.

Cutting the roots of the family tree. 

 

Someone please, 

I've been waiting here for the fight.

Feels like Sunday afternoon

But it's Friday night 

And I've been waiting for them to pick us up. 

 

Dividing holidays are like coming back on Sunday nights.

Homesick alone in my other home

Sitting alone in my other room.

Drained from more mediated lies

And the hurt that's soaked through.

But this is home, isolated sneers

Shattered images and torn years.

But I've haven't really been here for way too long

And racing snails don't outlast the slow motion smiles I hide behind.

I am the outcast, and no one really knows why.

 

They think my vapor trails 

Where the signs of a teenage milestone,

But the tragedy that has defined me

Somehow remains unknown.

Though I am the laugh he hides behind

I'm homesick at home

Sitting alone in my room,

Listening to the deeper songs

That somehow get me through-

That show me I am not alone,

Agreeing that I don't belong,

Accepting me for what I am:

A fuck up with no face, and no hands. 

 

Someone please, 

I've been waiting here all night.

I'm saying goodbye

And I've dreamt of this all my life. 


© Copyright 2018 J.M.Mason. All rights reserved.

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