Terrified

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


I have always been terrified about committing into a relationship and I thought I don't ever want to get married because of my parent's break up; which hurt me so bad and I thought my life would
end up like theirs

Submitted: September 14, 2018

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Submitted: September 14, 2018

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Terrified

 

My mom said, don’t make me cry for my tears bear curse

My dad said he felt worthless at some point

On the other side I felt responsible of their breakup

 

Well, guess what?

All of this is in no one’s hands; not in any of ours

These are the ways our hearts cry, since they don’t have tears

The hearts that do not cry in pain are danger

Not only to oneself but to others too

Because at some point they become volcanic

 

I hate to look in my life and think all what is going on is because of what happened to you two

That maybe my life will lead just like yours

That my tears will bear curse and find myself worthless at times

That I’m not fit to be with any one; to commit to any one

Afraid that I’ll make my own child think my unhappiness is their fault

 

It’s not your fault things did not work out between you two

And it’s certainly not mine either

In life, things are designed in a more complex way and we can never understand

It’s not your fault I blamed myself for your unhappiness

And most of all, you’re not worthless

But the truth is, I am terrified

I am scared! Because of all that I watched you go through when I grew up

 

From the stories you told me

And the things I saw growing up

And what has happened in my life

I see something like a pattern of what happened in your life right in mine

And that crashes my bones


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