But I Did

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: September 16, 2018

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Submitted: September 16, 2018

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Coarse red curly hair with freckles
A stocky body … heavy set
Not my type
But I didn’t have a choice
He chose to cross the line
I’m still numb and I’ve resisted forgiving him
What he took from me that night
I will never forget
Lord help me if I ever see him again
I want to fuck’n yell his name from the rooftops
So all will know the pain he caused me
The shame I’ve carried over the years
He risked the behavior
Thinking maybe I wouldn’t tell
I may have waited until years later 
But I did …
It was bound to come out
He really under estimated me
I waited until after my Mom had passed away
I don’t think she could have handled the pain of knowing
Two children outta three had been sexually assaulted
By people from our church
One child’s story swept under the carpet
But eventually this too came to light
The Court ordered that money exchange hands
As if that would make it all okay
And then, they had the balls to tell us we couldn’t disclose any details
I say to all of you … Fuck Right Off!
Silenced by Judges, Lawyers & Church Clergy
But not me … I will not keep quiet
If he’s around and still alive
May God have a plan to teach him a brutal lesson
May the memories of what he did to me fuck’n haunt him every day of his life
He escaped being arrested, the shame from his family & spending time in jail
May the memories keep him captive in his own personal prison
I hope he rots & dies a painful death
The embarrassment I felt when I finally told my Dad
Those aren’t stories you ever think you’ll have to share with your parent
But I did …
Now I need to move on … once & for all
I release the pain
I release the desire to choke the living shit outta him
I instead, ask God to fill me with compassion
I ask God for peace & to release him from my thoughts
I will never forget; however, I can now forgive


© Copyright 2018 Wild Roberts. All rights reserved.

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