july (moonlight)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: September 20, 2018

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Submitted: September 20, 2018

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I told you the truth

That night in my car

I told you that you

Were the thing that I longed for

If you were to leave

For California or Hawaii

I wouldn't be able to breathe

Left in your wake of uncertainty

Right now it's not just that I need you

I want you in my life

I want you to be there

Not as a knife

And not as an inanimate object

I want you as you

Not a slave or a king's subject

Not someone like you

Not a porcelain doll

Or the consequence of alcohol

I want you I need you

That's why it was so hard for me to tell you

In many ways

I didnt want things to change

Because you would have the chance to leave

We would end estranged

You might say its too much

That I feel too much

Or that you didnt feel the same way

I'm terrified that you'd leave

That we'd lose touch

That It would end like it always does

How it'll be when I'm old

And when it was when I was young

I'd be alone again

With your taste stuck on my tongue

And I dont want that.

I want you to stay

I dont want to be alone again

I want you to feel the same way

Or just be friends until the end

I want to live inside that spinning nauseousness

Inside your eyes

Like a merry go round

Blurring the world outside

Hearing nothing but the screaming sounds

Watching your fingers curling around your crown

What I found is that I need that

Not the 50 dollars left on the ground

I needed a place to be myself

To watch the candles melt

Not on my skin but next to you

Alone with you

Inside that confusing tornado in your eyes

Wondering if that was the truth

Or just another one of your lies

I need to feel the pain inside of me

Not something like a knife cutting deep

Not bruising my knees

Not a burning flame

Or a resounding lack of sleep

I need to feel you

How you look at me

For just a second

Or a full eternity


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